Saturday, January 31, 2009

Clear Starry Night

Slowly up the hill they went, using a modern pulley system that dragged a rubber circular device that they were seated in. It took a few minutes to reach the top, but with those minutes they could gaze to the stars and enjoy the chilly night air.

They reached the top, and waited with others for their turn to use the rubber, air-filled devices to descend the hill rapidly. When they had the chance to go down, they decided to go down together, by holding the handle that was attached to the device by a rope and an operator pushed them so they would be able to descend. With that little push, they descended at high speeds, with the air rushing past them.

They neared the bottom and kept going, with some shouts of surprise as they passed other managers of the slick decline. And with a crash they hit the the flimsy plastic barrier, causing one of the plastic poles holding it up to break, and flipping the longer end into the air to land a little more than twenty feet away.

They were promptly told off, as the managers assumed that the pair knew they were supposed to use their feet as brakes to slow their descent after the reached a marked point. Somehow that instruction was not heard beforehand.

Nevertheless the pair proceeded to the pulley system again, talking, laughing, flirting and staring into the eyes of the other, for only the female to giggle and look away shyly as the male wagged his eyebrows at the her. Almost completely oblivious to others, for the exception of the female's roommates.

At the top again, they decided to descend the steep incline separately in competition to see who could reach the bottom first, instead of going down together. Everything would have gone according to plan had the male not lost his footing and lost him a few seconds as he prepared himself to descend. Though the female would have reached the bottom many seconds before he did, he would not despair. He gained his footing and descended; enjoying the cool air on his face and the rapid speeds at which he descended. And this time he did remember to slow his speed by dragging his feet. Unfortunately the wind had blown his cap off his head, which was on the midpoint of the descent. Fortunately one of those who helped manage the steep incline was inclined to fetch the cap and return it by the time the male would descend again.

Once again at the top, the male and female decided to descend again, and though it took a minute longer than it should have, they descended quickly and rapidly. Though, due to their speed and acceleration, even with the applied force to slow them down, they did not slow enough and caused one portion of the plastic barrier to collapse, with the male ending up on his face.

Those who managed the hill weren't too pleased that the pair again had crashed in the barrier, and marked their attached pass a warning. But being courteous, they at least returned the male's hat.

By this time neither the male nor the female desired to descend the incline again; due to crashing a second time, but also that as the night was particularly cold, they both wished to warm up a tad in the warm building that was off to the side a bit of the way down.

In the building they partook of the foodstuffs that had been provided; a hot milk liquid with chocolate in it, and circular sugary treats with holes in the middle. While they partook of those, they rejoined the female's roommates and conversed about the oddest of things, the relating of which would only serve to scare the casual reader.

Nevertheless, the cold night air and the company they held was enjoyed and even the travel back held much laughter. The male and female were in each others' arms, enduring the ridicule of the roommates who were seated behind them.

Another amusement was a message that was sent from the males communication device to one of the female's roommate's communication device; the the feature that allowed the device to receive messages of a written nature was disabled, preventing her from normally receiving any message, but for some unknown reason, maybe the altitude, the communication device received the message.

Such are things in a clear starry night.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Albeit Wednesday?

Well Alishka Babushka did a letter thing the other day, and offered to give out some letters, so I requested jeopardy style to buy a vowel, and got the letter A.

So This is: An Arrangement of Averred inAanimate Assets that I Appreciate.

1. Apples! Totally delicious.
2. Appositives. I don't know why. It just sounds cool.
3. Apples to Apples. That game is hilarious to play.
4. Age of Empires 3. I got it for Christmas and I am just getting into it.
5. The Aaronic Priesthood.
6. Abe Lincoln. That is one funny comic. He was also a good president.
7. Being Ablush. Well not really, I just do it a lot.
8. Abnormalcy. Without it, we'd all just be normal.
9. The Abolition of slavery. That's always a good thing to enjoy and be grateful for. Although if slavery were still legal today, then I'd probably have my own share of slaves since my Dad's side of the family comes from Mississippi and the deep south. Well, had my Grandparents not moved out to Utah, I'd probably have slaves waiting hand and foot on me. So tell me again why it is good when they could do my homework for me? (In case anyone gets offended, I am totally kidding.)
10. Antibodies. Need I say more?

And like Alishka, I will be handing out letters to those who want them. Giant, you get F. The rest of you can have a different letter if you so choose.

Historical Miscoceptions

Well as Elder Fields hasn't written yet (I hear the weather was horrible in Chicago so he might not have had the chance to write today, or my dad didn't forward me the email yet) I figure I'll blog a little about some historical misconceptions that my Independent study history class is clarifying. This may help me to get more homework done too so I can blog about what I learn.

Anyway, we all know, or should know, that Magellan himself did not make it all the way around the world, but it was one ship of the five that originally set out. One ship crashed on a reef in 1519, the captain of another ship deserted and headed back to Spain. Magellan died in the Philippines in April 27, 1521.

The survivors consolidated their resources and burned the least seaworthy of the ships. The Victoria continued west across the Indian Ocean while the flagship, the Trininidad turned around because the captain was upset at the sailors for fighting in the back seat. They were never heard of again. I think it was sea turtles.

And although Magellan had died before circumnavigating the globe, he has been considered the first because he sailed to the East Indies for Portugal 10 years sooner. So he got a leg up on the race really.

Now if we look to the Aztecs, many believe that the city Tenochtitlan fell immediately when Cortes arrived. But nope! Although Cortes did arrive in 1519, the were held back the first time, and it was not until 1521 that Tenochtitlan, aided by thousands of natives; people conquered by the Aztecs and upset at all the human sacrifices. Maybe the animals had rebelled previously and that's why they weren't sacrificed?

Anyway, that's it for today. Tune in next time when we locate Ponce de Leon and see if he will give us the location to the fountain of youth.

Friday, January 23, 2009

You Should Know This Already.

Yeah, every so often I take a moment to comment about how people have found this blog by searches and what not, but c'mon, enough is enough.

Some person found my recently by googling "Who is Edward of twilight dating?". Shouldn't you this, I mean Edward is dating Bella of course.
Well actually, technically he is married to her with some little half undead growth hormone monstrosity. So I guess this does bring about new mystery, Who is Edward dating?
I mean now that Bella is undead and all, she no longer has that savory juicy steak smell. Sure he can spend all day in bed with her because they don't get tired or anything while Jacob plays baby games with his wife to be. He only has to wait a year or so before she become 'legal' right? But heaven forbid if a half-vampire can have children. The possibility of a half wolf-shapechanger, half, or fourth, vampire is just too grisly to imagine. But this isn't about Jacob's future with a half undead abomination where there are probably dozens of fanfics about their adventures and all, this is about who Edward is dating.

Sure the obvious thought, as I stated before, is that he would be taking his wife Bella out occasionally. But lets examine this thoroughly. Edward and his family clearly have more money than they know what do with, they never tire, Edward is no longer attracted to Bella the same way he was before because she isn't human, and as Bella has human ties for the next forty years or so, Edward has to do something while she is visiting the in-laws right?

Obviously the person who googled this saw something up in Forks, and thought that since the media reports on every minute of every celebrities lives, especially when being unfaithful; that the person clearly thinks that Edward is two-timing Bella.

Maybe that is why Edward never hooked up with that one vampire from Alaska, she wasn't human and thus not his type. We know he traveled around, and that he was in Italy for a few days preparing himself to walk out of the 'Vampire Closet' so to speak. (And now there will be dozens of fanfics about gay vampires and gay Eddie. Joy.) So maybe while he was in the shadows in Italy he met a young Italian female who had a nose for trouble and he ended up saving her life. We all know how this ends up, she falls in love with Edward because she smells like a superb Italian meatball, and this time he can read her mind so he knows if she'll reveal him. Although it does add up more if she is another extremely private person, so he can't read her mind. After-all, we know Edward is into that sort of thing, feeling human by having to guess like any other guy, so most likely that is the case.
Also Edward knows now with his experience with Bella to not turn her to be a vampire; not only would she lose the superb Italian meatball smell (which is far better than some girl from Arizona would smell I wager, no offense female Arizonians) but if the young Italian chick were a vampire, it would introduce all sorts of problems.

Of course as he is in Italy, and since the Voltari are there as well, the young Italian mistress might make a good peace offering since those dudes collect gifted vampires and act like the Mob.

This does also add insight to why Edward feels like he is going to hell, it's not because he's a vampire, but he's clearly been helping the Voltari on the side, a free-agent of sorts. Only with Bella he could resist and decided to keep her to himself, which is why the Voltari were angry in the first place, because Edward should have handed her over, but didn't.

So there you have it my good Google searcher, Edward clearly is double timing Bella with some privately minded Italian flirt, preparing her for the Voltari. After which he'll move onto his next target.

So to all the ladies in the world, here's hoping he can read your mind, if not, you're next. Well after me. I know too much and he has to eliminate me now.

Of course you could have been asking who Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward, is dating. My answer, I don't know nor do I care. You can surely Google it to find out. That's what you did to find this blog you say? Right. Well he's obviously following Edward's footsteps and recruiting naive, talented, young females for some underground organization.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

A New Hope - No Sith Lords Allowed

Sometimes the smallest and most surprising thing can make your day. It's been roughly a year and a half since I returned from my mission, and have fallen out of contact with most of the people I knew there, but yesterday to my surprise, one of my friends and people I helped convert e-mailed me and we e-mailed back and forth a bit.
To give a bit of background, Marisol is an independent young lady, who is an English teacher, she's about 25 or 26 if I recall, but was afraid of what her parents would say or do if they found out she became baptized, because they were very active Catholics.
So to help her out we taught her in the houses of members, which helped her get to know some of the members too. Well she also was having boyfriend problems, who viewed the church as United States thing and was against the country as well. This was also my last area, and so as her parents found out, an argument with a love-struck RM, and with pressures from her boyfriend it appeared that she would slip into inactivity.
In the last few weeks of my mission, that RM was upset that she wasn't going, and thought that we as missionaries did not do our jobs because she was going inactive, and that it would have been better to have not baptized her at all as, in his opinion, she had major doubts.
So as I left, it looked as if she would get married to her boyfriend, most likely in the Catholic church to appease her parents and it did look that she would not be coming to church again.

Well now two years later it turns out that not only did she not marry the bum (She had told us a little of what was going on between them) but she's active and has even entered the temple.

So I just want to say that it is spectacular, and that for those of you who have served or about to serve, that you just need to do your best, and do all that you can and you never know what great things will come of it.

And it appears that only one person wants cookies?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Randomness All Over, With a Treat Inside

You ever feel like you are off your grove and just don't know why, that you feel spiritually off center, that you are slightly off kilter and you want to get back on kilter? That's sort of how I feel in trying to balance my life now. It's not anything serious that is causing me to be off-kilter, just the little things that I need to improve on.

It's seriously causing me to be uncreative too and think of funny things to say.

Although I may throw the spotlight to Wally, he's in need of a girl and thinks that the universe is hating on him. I mean he is a very cool guy, who is going into computer engineering and even developing his own tech site. He's a very productive fun guy, unlike me where I am boosting the productivity levels to out of the levels known as lazy and procrastinative. In fact, though he denies it, he is a very good looking guy, more-so than myself, to which The Giant can surely attest to. He served a mission in Brazil and is very down to earth dude. In fact, here is a photo of him:

It's not the best but it is the only photo he has on facebook. In fact, as this is post #150, to the last person who comments before Friday at 12:01 AM, I'll put you in contact with him. Or if you're a guy or don't want Wally (hanging out, email, what-have-you) as a prize, then I offer cookies. So let's make it this, cookies with an optional side order of Wally. Your choice of cookies.

Glad you are all reading. To help inspire comments I will ask a question; What do you do when you realize that you've started something that may not be right or working, how to make it work or get out of it?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Great Wallyballs of Fire!

It's not everyday you get to bounce off the walls, or bounce stuff off the walls of course. But tonight was one of those nights where not only were balls bouncing, but laughs and other shenanigans hailed high as well.

The night started out normal, dinner with some friends in the ward, but then she-who-is-not-my-cousin burst out a game called 'Hilarium' where in a manner of speaking it is like curses, where you act what is on your card, but the goal is to find matches, to get down as many cards as you can, so if someone has a card that is the same as the one you are acting out, you both get to put the card down. And it so happens that one of the cards was mooning, so I pulled down an imaginary pair of pants and mooned the girl across the circle from me. Yes. Mooning. You heard me.

But as time gathered for FHE, we went to the stadium to be tried and tested. Well more like it was the rec center north of Provo High School, but you get the idea. We entered, we shed our coats and entered the small opening and let the plastic balls fly. Twas like unto the movie 'Dodgeball' But with less skill and coordination as no one had trained us by throwing wrenches at our sweet spots. But even so, we grunted, we dove and even was hit on the back of the head a few times by the bouncing ball.

It was like nothing ever seen before, except had you actually seen something like it before.

But to finish up, we went up the street a way and ordered the food for champions, Frosties from Wendy's.

Twas a night that would go down in FHE history, or more likely to be forgotten in the weeks to come.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

And Continues the Drama

Geeze, this blog is turning out to be soap opera. First the romance and love triangles and now the trauma and suspense. I wonder if a Hollywood screenwriter is writing the script of my life.

So... My parents received a call from the Elder Fields' mission president, it seems that Elder Fields is in the hospital, most likely due to some kidney trouble. The doctors are not sure what it is exactly, but it might be some latent kidney issues that Elder Fields had years ago and hasn't had problems with since. So hopefully he gets well quickly.

But I do promise this, that the humor will get back to this blog, it may mean finding and firing that Hollywood writer, but we all have to take losses somewhere, it is a hard economy after all.

Alas Pandora, It Was Not Meant To Be

There was a time when I could blame the universe for my girl troubles, when I could make jokes about not being liked back and the sort. It seems that the Universe is set out to prove me wrong; not that I am complaining or anything. I mean there was a time when I knew of no girls who liked me back, but at this point and time I can say there are several who think I am somewhat more then modestly presentable, two girls have claimed to have fallen in love with me, I dated one of those two and may now be embarking again on another such journey.

So all I can say is that the Universe likes proving me wrong, and I may have learned to work that out to my advantage.

Anyway, to my most beloved Pandora who I love like a china plate,
In the words of the famous Captain Jack Sparrow, "It never would have worked out between us."

I mean don't get me wrong, you have a cool box of destruction waiting to feast on all the flesh of all mankind and you've been witness to the lunacy of my plans for world domination, but things are headed in a different direction, and you know that, yes. But even more so now. I can only hope that you'll be merciful enough to let me live, and not burn my heart with your rage. I don't exactly have a spare lying around.

But so you all know, I have been starting to see a girl, "Ladybug" I'll call her until things are official likes and what not, and we most probably will begin to date exclusively, especially after certain events that transpired this evening...

But yes, "Ladybug" is a cute girl, she's one of those shy girls until you get to meet her, and then you discover that she's just really cool with underhanded roommates who may be plotting revenge for certain acts of tickle wars... Ahem, I rant... but she is most ticklish on the back of the neck and on the knee, which makes it really unfair for her as I am not ticklish... Oh well, tickle wars were never meant to be fair in the first place, now were they? Which I guess condones any acts of revenge her roommates seek to do me.

Here's hoping I survive the counter strike!


Friday, January 16, 2009

Mystery Meats

I feel the truth must to told, I can no longer remain silent. The world must know, so at least it can get in on the goods. I risk breaking confidences, but hopefully I'll survive.

Last Sunday, January 11th, I was speaking with two employees of Macey's, located in Orem, and it came to my attention that their deli section secretly sells 110% grade A human meat! It's not on display or anything of course, but that's so the health inspectors don't close them down. But it is the truth.

Now before I divulge this information, if you happen to be a health inspector, beware. Even though you will give out this information, the employees there can smell a health inspector the moment he enters the store, so be forewarned that those associates of yours who decided to go on vacation at the last minute and haven't been seen in a while are actually the best meat sold in Macey's deli.

Now that you are properly forewarned, I will divulge the secret to viewing the secret stache of meat. When you go to the deli, preferably in the evening, you need to ask, "What do you have that tastes like chicken?" The employee will most likely suggest some product made of chicken, just in case you really wanted chicken. You then have to ask for something that tastes like chicken, but with opposable thumbs. With that, they'll ask a few more questions, just for looks so no one gets suspicious, and then will invite you to the back locker where the human meat is stored.

Also, a warning, asking too much questions may make you the next meal of the day. As their inventory is always changing, they don't have a precise menu that can be given, but they do have vast collections of seasoning and hair, so if you want some meat of the red-headed variety, that can easily be accomplished.

So if you ever desire to taste exquisite 110% grade-A human meat, you know where to find it.

Also some suggestions, librarians always taste a little stale and emo kids taste horrible. Something about their attitude and outlook on life, not to mention fashion sense, permeates the skin until it tastes like soggy bat wings. The desperate CEO flavor is very rich with flavor, in fact they are strangely overstocked with it. They even include little golden parachutes too to go with the meal.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Lifeless Thursday

Just thought I'd do this.
blog readability test

TV Reviews

And as for tomorrow, I'm definitely writing down everything that I need to do. Else it won't get done.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Missionary Wednesday

Dear All,
Ok, enough about blackmail, torture, and email scandals (Editors note: I'm just going to leave you hanging there). I didn't come here for that. I came to do God's work and now I'm going to change the subject to that. As far as proselyting goes this week, things have been rather quiet. All our Appointments after Tuesday last week fell through. This week we haven't had success with appointments ether. We have started tracting on the streets that our media referrals live on. We tract up the street to their home then after we finish there, we tract back down the street to our car. This is a pain in the butt to do in this cold weather, but its better then not doing anything at all. The experience is almost worth the cold because you talk to the most interesting people when you tract. Most aren't interested but then you get one or two that are interested. We've been trying to work a lot harder to get our investigator pool up so that way all our appointments won't fall through. The more investigators, the more appointments that don't fall through.
Until next week.

Elder Fields

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Morals of a Free Book

Update: I am feeling better and have been approved for the Fast-Track Back Option. Go Responsibility for the win!

Anyway, it has come to my attention that I have a free text book, that was possibly mis-shipped to me, and maybe was illegally sold?

Well to let you all know, before I was aware of my academic status, I decided to try the internets to find a textbook for a class I was going to take, CS235: Data Structures and Algorithms. Well I found a book online for about $31.00 whereas the BYU Bookstore sells a used version for about $89.00. So I bought it. On the 6th I received an email saying that my order was canceled due to a shortage in stock and that I wouldn't be billed for it.

So I didn't expect it to come. Well a few days ago when Robster (Not a lobster, my roommate) and I went to the post office because we weren't getting anything in the mail. (They were holding our mail apparently) Anyway, in the mail that they were holding was a package for me, which held the book that I ordered.

So I checked my bank account, and I haven't been charged for it. Also it is the international edition, so it shouldn't have been sold to me, not that I am complaining really...

Anyway, what do I do? Do I call them back and send it back to them, or do I keep it for when I take the class in the future?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Knock on Wood

Ok, I have sounded negative here. I am sorry. To make up for that, I'm going to jinx myself by saying that things could only get worse if I had Chickenpox. Which I haven't had yet.

Also, Slinkies are fun.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Rebeling Against Myself

Well. I may have hit rock bottom. I'll let you know when I have determined that I am there. The only way to go is up though. Unless I fall into a magma chamber, then the only way to go is all the way of the earth. (Joke, ha ha....)

I am academically suspended. The past three semesters haven't been exactly the best for me, having lower than a 2.0 GPA each semester. Last semester was looking up, but I tripped on the 1 yard line in the 4th down of the last second of play. So now I academically suspended.

Which means, as I work for BYU, that I have no job as I am not a student technically anymore.

My cumulative GPA is higher than a 2.0, which means I qualify for the Fast Track back option, meaning if I complete 12 credits of Independent Study I can take classes again in the Fall.

So now that leaves me to fight against my emotions, to fight against hopelessness and put in the good fight, maintaining a good attitude and not giving myself over to overwhelming despair. It means being cheerful and remembering to hang out with friends so as to not get lost within myself too much.

It means I need to find a job so I can pay for classes and still pay rent, unless I decide to go back and live with my family in Tooele. Which may mean selling my housing contract.

It means not giving up and doing all that I can do.

It means not dwelling on the past, forgiving myself for slacking, amid other things.

So I'll let you know how that goes.

Oh, and if I do start talking in third person, developing a taste for raw fish and referring to some ring, or other object as my precious, I give you full license to barge in and rescue me. Also if I suggest a Lord of the Rings Marathon because of all the time I have, please slap me silly. And let's hope I really don't fall into a Volcano.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Missionary Wednesday

Dear All,
It's good to be back online. The student library is open again and now I can email regularly until either spring break or my next transfer, but I'll worry about that when the time comes; let's just enjoy the fact that I'm back online now.
I'll start this email off on new years eve. We spent most of the day just hanging out with the sisters in our district. Everyone says we've got a good set. personally I don't think we've ever really had a bad set, but i don't really care ether... I personally do agree with the rest of the district that Sister B. Sister P. are a good set.
At the end of the day we went to bed and I woke up about a minute after midnight to what sounded like fireworks and noisemakers, but then I remembered that it's Chicago and those fireworks are gunshots, and the noisemakers are sirens. After a minute of listening to that I went back to bed.
New Years morning was about the same as any other day more media referrals and canceled appointments. Not a good way to start off a New Year. New Years night was a bit better. A member family had lots of extra holiday food and they shared it with all the missionaries. Friday went off a bit better, we got two new investigators but they canceled our next appointment, they then surprised us yesterday when they let us in after we showed up without an appointment hopefully these two will progress all the way. Unfortunately our only other progressing investigator is still hard to get hold of. When we called her she invited us over but wasn't there when we got there. she called back to apologize and we've scheduled an appointment for Friday but we aren't holding out much hope as we found her in the beginning of November and have tried to continue to teach her for the past two months but its very hard. Elder C. hasn't said much about it but if she doesn't hold up on Friday my guess is that were going to drop her because its been to long and were getting almost nowhere with her.
Saturday morning basketball was surprisingly long. It lasted about two hours longer then normal and I personally think that's time wasted where we could have been doing other things. I was glad when it finally ended and we could move on to other things. Sunday our church time moved from 1pm to 9am.
Monday night when our district was observing Elder V's birthday I came to a conclusion why I got called to Chicago. Elder V turned 24 and a majority of the missionaries who come to Chicago aren't 19 and 21 when they get here. In fact I'm one of the younger ones. So apparently Chicago is the place they send missionaries who come out later then the normal age. The rest of them think that they must have done something wrong and are now being punished for it by getting sent here. What a bad attitude. South Chicago may not be the best mission in the world but its probably better then other missions.
I received a Christmas card from DI (Editors note: He used to work there) and was glad to get it although it would be nice to get personal letters also, along with a signed card. I know several people who said they would write me and haven't. Shame shame. That's about all for this week i hope to hear from all of you soon.

Love, Elder Fields.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Where is the Sunrise?

Traveling, not caring, not paying attention.
When all look around, all is dark and bleary
No maps in site, no stars or moon to point the way.
Clouds overhead, darkness surrounding
and now stuck, stuck until there's more light
or for the engine to start again

No one knows why
no one paid attention
all remember the signs pointing the way
but no one spoke up to correct the route
the assumption was that it was correct
that they would get there on time

but now, they're stuck
lamenting missed opportunities
those they could have known
things they could have done
now stuck in the dark in a starless night

Hope against hope,
or denial of position
but either way they're stuck
and they all wonder why
why they did not heed
why they stayed the course
why they didn't listen
to even the still small voice

Their sense of loss sinks in
their hope and joy wanes
hope soon fades
becomes as dark as the night

they want to hope but they can't
the desire is lost to move on
to dig themselves out
they wonder why even go
they know they must continue
though the motivation is found lacking

despair kicks in
advice falls on deaf ears
they hope against hope that they can arrive
but do nothing to reach their goal

They wish it weren't so
anger, disappointment, rage
at only themselves

their hope is as dark as the sky around them
the desire, their motivation gone
They know they must
necessity pushes them to keep at it
though barely succeeds at that

They hope for a sun lit day
to see the rising of the sun
and go on their way
which is all they hope for

They know it ought not bother them
they know they shouldn't lose hope
they know they shouldn't despair
but they do.

too ashamed to ask for help
too prideful to confide in others
they just let it stew in them
while pretending all is well
to those would lend a shoulder

Now the question comes to them,
What will they do?

Monday, January 5, 2009

So Not Blessed For The Win

What does it say about me when I discover Seriously So Not Blessed and laugh at it harder than I have ever laughed at Seriously, So Blessed?

I don't think it can mean anything good. I'll probably have the legions of SSB after my blood for not fully appreciating and laughing at that blog.

All in a day's work I suppose.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

There's a BBQ, Somewhere.

It was late at night, well late enough for the sun to have set on a cold winter's day at least. Meaning that it was eight at night. He was planning to go to a Barbecue up the canyon with "Roger", Roger's girlfriend and others. In fact, Roger had told him to meet him by the gray Ford as he was running a little late.

Well, he arrived at a gray Ford, and assumed that it was the one he was to meet at, considering there was a car with a couple people idling in front of it. Well he parked, took out the prized two dollar ground steak and got out of his blue compact car. He assumed that maybe it was "Shirley" and someone else, and he waved, but as he approached the car, he saw that he did not recognize them, nor them him. Thinking to avoid a more awkward moment than it was already turning out to be, and kept walking by, turning back to his car. They of course drove off quickly.

A few minutes passed and Roger called, asking him where he was. Apparently Roger was parked in the parking lot on the other side of the building. Who knows if the truck he was parked by was even a Ford. All he knew is that it was a Rodeo.

Well he went off to the correct parking lot, and found that plans had changed; instead of heading to the canyon like they supposed, they decided to be sane, and have the barbecue amidst Heritage Halls. Well he arrived, Roger had the charcoal, and the stuff for the fire, and his own meet and dragged over a portable barbecue cooker over, and got the fire started. Promptly Shirley went to grab more supplies, and Roger went to grab the root beer. That meant that he would tend the fire. Like that is a safe thing to do.

As soon as both were out of sight, he grabbed the lighter fluid like a giddy little kid and started spraying the fire a few times, letting out his inner pyro - just a little.

After much scrambling, they had all the supplies and started on the marshmallows first. Though he was a pyro, at least he didn't let his marshmallows catch on flame like Roger did. He wanted to eat his at least.

They started cooking the meat, preparing it. In the midst of it all, he felt the desire to use the restroom and was loaned a key to get in the building where Shirley's apartment was. He later realized that he ended up in the wrong apartment, using someone else's bathroom.

Well, he returned to the meat and helped turn it, preparing it and all, and took it inside, to meet Shirley's roommates and almost die laughing at the quote wall. They ate, he had to microwave his meat as it was still a little pink in the middle, and the Roger got the rest of the meat, including one very burnt hot dog. Well they ate, they talked, they decided to put a lot of snow on the charcoals to put out the fire and all wondered if they would be in the daily universe.

All but him decided to cram into a minivan and watch Meet The Robinsons, which he later learned was not so good of an experience.

And they were all glad that they decided to not go up the canyon to try and barbecue anything. The End.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Just Following the Crowd

Well... I was thinking about doing it with exuberance and make it over the top... maybe I still will...

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? I had my first girlfriend. I also walked on the moon looking for that space Nazi military encampment.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I have no clue what goals I set last year, or any resolutions I may have made. So I will say that No, because the world isn't under my control, and I have to try harder this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Well... there are a few girls I went out with... Nah, just kidding, No one I know has given birth.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Me. I have yet to rise from the metaphorical grave, but I am working on it.

5. What countries did you visit? None of them will let me in anymore due to suspicious circumstances of my visits, so sadly enough I did not visit any countries last year. I think I'll try to sneak past the Canadian border this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Self control, a realistic view of myself, to be a better person, and One Million Dollars. Or a small country.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The 24th or 31st of January last year... I don't remember which and it is no longer that important. And I'll say the day I found the Board MB.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I survived. I also stopped working at Walmart. (They were tired of me planning assassination attempts on my superiors to get promoted.)

9. What was your biggest failure?
I failed to start my campaign for the 2024 Presidency.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I may have only gotten sick a little. Of course the full answer depends on if insanity is an illness or not.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Peace of mind. It hasn't arrived yet though.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My good friend Alan. He merits plenty of celebration.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My left hand man Gary. He lost that shipment of Nuclear warheads. Also, there is my own, for internal D'art-like battles that still are being waged privately to this day. For those of who know what that means, I am winning, but not by much.

14. Where did most of your money go? Evil scientist experiments, er, um, I mean school.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The start of Fall semester I was really excited. And then I lost it after.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Whatever song was being played when the Hindenburg went down.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
A little happier.
b) thinner or fatter? I think a little heavier.
c) richer or poorer? At the moment, richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Schoolwork and studying. Also a little more flirting on the side could have been nice.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying. Procrastinating.

20. How did you spend Christmas? With my family, and not attempting to kidnap and ransom Santa Claus.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yes. I think I still am too.

22. What was your favorite TV program? House and Smallville.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate? Nope. Except Sasquatch, but that is because he won't pay me back the money he owes me.

24. What was the best book you read? Still reading it, but Tale of Two Cities has been good.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I am still looking actually.

26. What did you want and get? Good friends.

27. What did you want and not get? Everything else.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Iron Man, or the Dark Knight.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Hung out if I recall, and I was 22. I'm 25 now. I'm not sure how that happened though.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? That is so loaded a question that I think the moon is falling out of orbit.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? My what now?

32. What kept you sane? I never was, and am even further from sanity than the year before.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I dunno, let's say Anne Hathaway.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The election coverage and Gay Marriage.

35. Who did you miss? Peeps from Mexico, my soul, the cute red headed girl...

36. Who was the best new person you met? Bob, Chilly, Fred, Yellow M&M, and the others from the mb.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Just put your trust in the Lord and do it! And I don't think he wants me to conquer the world...

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Any song about a redo or a second chance would fit. Maybe a song with a time machine in it.