Sunday, May 31, 2009

Mysteries of the Expanse

After all this time I think something dawned on me. I'm scared of girls. Well, to be more precise, white girls scare me.

No, not the type of scare associated with jumping out of the shadows and shouting 'boo!' but the intimidated type of scare. Where all confidence melts and suddenly your a simmering puddle of goo wondering what to do, considering now that I'm single. I think I finally pinpointed it. I actually realized it after ward prayer today, because at the beginning of Ward Prayer two Hispanic girls from Mexico were introduced as part of an apartment spotlight and after which I was able to go and talk to them easily, and kid around with them just fine. Then when I went to talk with some other girls I knew; Americans, Gringas, it was kind of forced conversation and very limited.

I think I need to look more into this...

Friday, May 29, 2009

Inner Workings, Maybe

Why do I persist in doing things that make me miserable in the long run, instead of, I dunno, staying on track and exercising self-control to stay on track? No wonder why my self-esteem is shot.

It's time for a redoubling of efforts I think.

Funny Beyond Words

There is a group that changes lyrics of songs to what is happening in the music video. Here is Total Eclipse of the Heart, which is very, very hilarious.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Yes and No time!

Others have done this, so I guess I'll take a crack at it.

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends?--- YES
Been arrested? --- NO
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- YES
Slept in until 5 PM? --- No
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- YES
Held a snake? --- YES
Ran a red light? --- YES
Been suspended from school? --- YES
Experienced love at first sight? --- YES
Totaled your car in an accident? --- YES
Been fired from a job? --- YES
Fired somebody? --- NO
Sang karaoke? --- YES
Pointed a gun at someone? --- NO
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- YES
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- YES
Kissed in the rain? --- YES
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- NO
Seen someone die? --- NO
Played spin-the-bottle? --- NO
Sang in the shower? --- YES
Smoked a cigar? --- NO
Sat on a rooftop? --- YES
Smuggled something into another country? --- NO
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- NO
Broken a bone? --- NO
Skipped school? --- YES
Eaten a bug? --- NO
Sleepwalked? --- NO
Walked a moonlit beach? --- NO
Rode a motorcycle? -- NO
Dumped someone? --- YES
Forgotten your anniversary? --- YNO
Lied to avoid a ticket? ---- NO
Ridden on a helicopter? --- NO
Shaved your head? --- YES
Played a prank on someone? --- YES
Hit a home run? -- NO
Felt like killing someone? --- YES
Cross-dressed? --- YES
Been falling-down drunk? --- NO
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- YES
Eaten snake? --- NO
Marched/Protested? --- NO
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- NO
Puked on amusement ride? --- NO
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- NO
Been in a band? --- NO
Knitted? --- NO
Been on TV? --- YES
Shot a gun? --- YES
Skinny-dipped? --- NO
Caused someone to have stitches? --- NO
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? ---YES
Ridden a surfboard? --- NO
Had surgery? --- YES
Streaked? --- NO
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- NO
Passed out when not drinking? --- NO
Peed on a bush? --- YES
Donated Blood? --- NO
Grabbed electric fence? --- NO
Eaten alligator meat? --- NO
Eaten cheesecake? --- YES
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- NO
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- NO
Peed your pants in public? --- YES
Snuck into a movie without paying? --- NO
Written graffiti? --- NO
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- NO
Think about the future? --- YES
Been in handcuffs? --- NO
Believe in love? --- YES
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- NO

Missionary Thursday

Hey All,

I forgot to mention one thing last week; since Sister P. was a big success in converting Sister A., we decided to bring her to another investigator we have. This was a great idea, shes a true fellow shipper. She will be key with this new investigator as well. The investigator that we are teaching is worried about change and losing all her friends/family, but we know that Sister P. will be a great friend and help[ as they both actually come form the same church. Another key for her is getting her to pray to know the truth. She refuses to do so because she has a personal testimony of prayer and doesn't want to get the answer that it's true, because she doesn't want to change and has been in her church for over fifty years. It will take a bit more work but we'll get her in the water eventually, hopefully.
Wednesday we did the ear candles thing, I had more wax then the rest of my district and my hearing has only slightly improved. Thursday was zone conference. It had been a while since the last one and nobody was looking forward to hearing the same old stuff President R. always talks about, but we still tried to do our best to get something out of it. The Pres seems to think that the key to doing the work is being perfect little obedient angels. Wrong! The key to the work is hard work. Do that and be blessed. That and we are 21 year old boys; perfect obedience isn't in our vocabulary.
Friday was my birthday and it was a good day (Editors Note: I forgot to mention that didn't I? Oops). It started with the baptism interview for Sister P.; she passed. Then I got a most awesome surprise; Elder S., my deceased mission father resurrected to pay me a visit. For those who don't know what I just said was that your mission father is the companion you have who trains you when you first come out, you are born into the first area you serve and die in the last area you serve in. When you resurrect you come back to the place where you served your mission. So basically my trainer Elder S. returned to Chicago to pay some friends a visit. He heard it was my birthday and that I was still in Beverly, so I was lucky enough to talk to him for a few hours before he left to visit another part of the mission. After that we had another good appointment and picked up five new investigators. Later that day we also had some district fun. I loved the joke about how when you turn 21 around I'm 12 and that's how old I look. All in all it was a very good birthday and one worth remembering.
Saturday was Sister A.'s baptism which went very well. Unfortunately, due to complications she was unable to be confirmed Sunday but will definitely be here this week. After the baptism I got my birthday package and loved all the good stuff inside.
Sunday night one of our investigators had tickets to a theatrical worship service at his church so we decided to go. The service wasn't that great and the play was absolutely depressing. In it it basically said that no matter what you do you will go to hell if you don't accept Christ as your personal savior and its a permanent damnation too. In the play a little boy who went to church with his mom got sent to hell just for looking up to his cool dad who hadn't accepted Christ. A mom too busy for church got sent to hell and they tried to make it look good by sending her daughter to heaven. It wont be all happy when you go to heaven and your loved ones don't. They also endorsed deathbed repentance with an old woman and a construction worker who was buried under a brick wall. The only good part about this play was the reunited family and the occasionally funny lines that were thrown in. My favorite line was how the streets of heaven are lined with silver, gold, and angels with perms. This play was absolutely horrible and inaccurate. We walked out of there feeling extremely depressed. I love this church, it never makes me feel depressed.
Monday was district meeting and President's interviews. The Pres gave me the usual self-improvement tips and told me basically I would be a more powerful tool in the lords hands if I became a mini Pres-R. According to my comps I'm already a powerful instrument in the hands of the Lord. President R. was a banker before the mission and is definitely not a people person. All he really talks about is good numbers and how by being perfectly letter of the law obedient to everything he says that we will be blessed and the mission will prosper. It doesn't help that he compares us to other missions that get more baptisms. We aren't those missions, the people here are completely different. He also talks about how there are going to be fewer missionaries coming out and how we will need to work that much harder in bigger areas. I think he was put in charge of this mission so he could learn to understand people and that life isn't always about good numbers. Hopefully he will realize this soon enough.
Unfortunately with Monday being a holiday none of our appointments went through, and Tuesday only one of our appointments went through, but it was a good one lesson.
Today at Sister C.'s we talked about subcultures in the priesthood, like the tower of Babel and the Gadianton robbers. They once new the truth but are now possible sons of perdition. There is one piece of false doctrine floating around here about how Christ went to hell after he was crucified and wrestled the keys away from Satan. That was a huge twist from the doctrine of Christ organizing mission work for those in spirit prison. Also it possible to die as a spirit but you're not completely gone because your elements are still there. The scripture about Christ crushing Satan's head is both literal and figurative.
That's it for this week. The gospel is still true! The end!

love Elder Fields

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

To the Best of the Best

There are nary a man in today's times that is as much as a gentleman and super stud as Wally the 3rd.
This here is a tribute and a wish of luck to one such as him; one of the finest and most dashing men that e'er have stumbled upon this green sphere we call Earth. Though he is a tad humble to admit it, he now has been occupied in the courtship of a lovely lady of his suiting. So great now are the levels of Twiterpation that the good sir Wally III took it upon himself to cross this great nation by the miraculous mode of air travel to visit the fair maiden as she resorts with her kin over this season, and left naught but a few hours ago.

To him I wish him the best of luck in the his wooing of the fair lady Kristen

So again, to thee my good Sir Wally III, I commend you for your efforts. And if anything may come of it, I do but humbly ask to be the Godfather.

Meme Alert!

Courtesy of Mary

Five things I was doing 10 years ago…
1. Going from Elementary to Junior High
2. Wasting time on the Internet
3. Wasting time on the internet
4. Starting to annoy Certain neighbor girls
5. Wasting Time on the Internet

Five things on my to-do list today. (I’ll say tomorrow since today is almost over)…
1. Do writing assignments for History 202
2. Call UHEEA
3. Maybe fix car door handle
4. Fencing tonight.
5. More School Work

5 of my favorite snacks…
1. Mazapanes (Mexican peanut butter candy)
2. Chips
3. Baked Goods
4. Candy
5. Apples

5 Jobs I’ve had…
1. Chinese food place
2. Gateway/Emachines tech support
3. Telemarketing
4. Global Service Desk
5. Avantar/Developing iPhone apps.

5 things I would do with a million dollars…
1. Put away $30,000 or so for school
2. Save for a small home
3. Savings
4. Travel to Mexico and other places
5. Throw cash left and right for dates, go to the Il Divo Concert in June

5 things that made me laugh this week…
1. Lolcatz
2. The Giant
3. Family
4. Elder Fields
5. Night of Museum 2

Everyone, consider yourself tagged. Thank you.

Only Slightly Wounded

Twas in the course of the holiday travels, when visiting the dearest Grandmother and looking haphazardly into one of her many family history books that I found another deceased ancestor who served in the Civil War.

His name is William P. Pool, Born Sept 12th, 1812 and died Feb 7th, 1894.
He enlisted March 13th, 1862 in Tuscaloosa County, Alabama and became a Sargent.

In the Battle of Murfreesburo, Tennessee in the first days of January 1863 he was wounded slightly in the leg by gun shot.

Beyond that I am not sure if he continued serving or was granted leave to return home.

Even so, it is very cool. If I ever find a picture I will post it on here.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Missionary Wednesday

Hey you all!,

We were awesome in the work this week. Thursday was Sister L.'s baptism interview. She passed and we planed out the details for the baptism. Friday we had lots of appointments go through. Saturday we were very exited and spent the day prepping for the first baptism this area has had in 18 months!!! Thanks to the fellow shipping efforts of Sister P., Sister L. had a friend in the church to lean on and support, she would not have gotten baptized if Sister P. wasn't there. That is one baptism under my belt, well at least half a baptism. Unfortunately Sister L. was unable to come to church and receive the Holy Ghost on Sunday. She attended her own church one last time to say goodbye and server her ties; she's definitely coming this week though. sister L.'s baptism made me feel better because I've taught so many people now who I will never get to see go to the waters of baptism. She was contacted by an Elder T. who has been home for a year almost now, so i know that someday someone will pick up back on those I taught and finish what I started.
Monday was another awesome day, most of our appointments went though. Tuesday was the same. We've got another baptism interview and another baptism this Saturday. This person I actually taught. She was found by another set of elders then she moved into this area and we finished up the teaching and set her baptism date for sure on Tuesday. I'm very happy for them and I hope that one day I will be able to teach and baptize an investigator from beginning to end. After setting the baptism date we were booked with appointments Tuesday and came back home very tired from our successful day.
Today at Sister C.'s we learned that people with a great work to do in this life will know they have it from very early on. There was more then one grand council in heaven, there was actually a different council for every galaxy, but its pretty much the exact same plan, just in a different area of the universe. Also Governor Boggs' temple work has been done! Even in the case of people like him when the work is done they will still suffer as Christ suffered for a very long time before finally gaining their salvation. After sending e-mail today we're going to try ear candles (Editors note: What on earth are Ear Candles?) so i look forward to finding out how that works and if it will really improve my hearing. It's probably a lot more comfortable than the enemas (Editor's Note: Eww!) the district wanted to do a while back. That was just wrong and I'm glad I didn't participate in that, but I look forward to this experiment.
Also looking forward to my birthday. This Friday 21 years and legally able to brack the Word of Wisdom. Not that I'm going to. Heh heh. So long this week. I look forward to giving another exciting report of the work next week.

love Elder Fields.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Most Definitely

This is just hilarious.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Post-Wedding Day

No not my wedding. But a friend's wedding. Two friends actually. Who happened to be dating each other for 3 years or so. And I thought I'd share some photo's I took there.

The Giant; glaring at me for taking surprise photos.

Introducing the Dude. Yes, his awesomeness equals yes. So thus he is the Dude.

Mr. Dude, his last moments of bachelorhood slipping away.

Though this isn't the girl he's waiting for.

This is the girl he's waiting for:

The vows and everything else that is said.

The Rings.

More of the Rings

I like this photo, it's them just ending the kiss, getting in the natural smiles as they just had their first kiss as a wedded couple.

The Bride, the veil and little children. Such fun.

Being civil about it. No fun.

And them dancing. I should have taken a video cause they both are great dancers.

So yeah. Hop to it!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Ambassador to Mars

Ok, so it's not Mars. But it is China. Or at least speculation that Huntsman will be the ambassador to China.

I say that's cool. Very cool indeed.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Ear Blasting Fun

You know... I think yesterday was my first actual concert. I mean I have attended Jon Schmidt concerts and the like, but those have been assigned seating concerts, not stand up and dance and shout like a fool type concerts.

So yeah, my first actual concert was at Cowboy Mouth. And it was awesome. Awesome indeed.

So 'Lyssa, 'Greg', and me went down to Salt Lake (Yeah, fake 'nym for Greg. Keeping up tradition.) and had a blast. I'm sure both Greg and Lyssa appreciated it more as Greg can run circles round me with his music knowledge and appreciation, and 'Lyssa, well she just loves the band with the fury of a thousand suns at supernova.

The opening group was ok, I didn't catch their name though, but it was some local band. Their mics rang a bit, and I'm not sure if that was their problem or the Urban Lounge's fault, so I can't really judge them. That and I didn't understand a thing they said, but the beat was alright.

I will tell you it is definitely something to have music pulsating around you, causing the very fabric of your clothes to vibrate and shake around you. Not to mention going absolutely deaf. By the end of the night it sounded as if I had cotton swabs in my ears and that there was a police scanner on it the background when people spoke.

But onto the main band, Cowboy Mouth! They are awesome, I will admit that. The main drummer/singer, Fred LeBlanc, is very cool. You could tell that despite how much work it is for him (which can been seen by the massive amounts of sweating he did) that he enjoys it. He also had a crazy look in his eyes, the look of confidence, of knowing what he was doing and knowing how to have fun doing it.

They played great songs, some of which can be heard on their website and I had an awesome time. I especially enjoyed the throwing of red spoons. There's a red song spoon they play we throw red, plastic spoons at them. Fun.

There is some minor language for those of you who wonder, but it's not ever frequent or a continuous line of expletives. Sometimes in songs like "Tell the Girl Ur Sorry" that it's use is fit in with the rhythm, and so it's done with taste (if it can be done with taste) with a song or two of theirs.

So They are basically awesome. And if my saying so doesn't convince you, talk to 'Lyssa. She'll convert you quickly soon enough.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I know I've been busy. But I do have some good news to report.

I went in to the academic counselor Monday afternoon to find out more about evening classes. The next day the attendance people called me again and told me that once the whole Fast-Track back thing was done, that I could indeed take day classes in the fall. Hazzah!

I also am almost done with History. I should be completely done next week.

I am also attending a concert tonight with 'Lyssa. We're seeing Cowboy Mouth. Lyssa kept talking about them and so apparently they're pretty good. I'll inform you tomorrow about that. There may be pictures if I decide to take my bulky camera.

I say things are pretty good.

And in past news, I'm hoping the vampire is dead now. I'm not sure if it is yet. But it looks like it. Happiness and Joy!

Missionary Wednesday

Dear fellow readers,

Last Wednesday for our preparation day our district wanted to do something fun but we just hung out all day trying to figure out what we should do. When it was later we argued about going to this closed-down haunted graveyard and ended up going. I was scared at first, but it turned out to be very cool. If the graveyard was haunted there were no spirits there that night. In place of spirits there were loads of frogs and we decided to have fun catching them. When we came out we were met by an angry police officer who told us the place was closed after dark. We never saw any sign so he let us off the hook this time. He told us he comes there every night and has to deal with the problem of people getting hit and drunk, and also getting raped. he doesn't like this area because crap like that always happens. Elder H. says stuff like that happens because it's haunted and people are getting possessed and then doing stupid stuff. whether it's that or just drunk party-goers we apologized to the officer and told him we wouldn't come back.
Thursday and Friday were slow days. All of our appointments fell on us and we were very tired. Friday after our last fallen appointment the Pullman elders invited us over to hang on their roof. They have a ladder to get up there and like to do it. We had nothing else to do so we did. It was fun being on a roof and looking around at the city from a rooftop.
Sunday was Mothers' Day and it was good to be able to talk to my family for an hour. I actually talked to my family for the least amount of time. Not too many other missionaries actually care about the time limits. I only talked for one hour, some others talked for as much as ten. That's just crazy. I look forward to my next call home at Christmas.
Monday and Tuesday were good days for the work. Only half of our appointments fell through and the ones that didn't were very promising.
Tuesday we also got a baptism date for Saturday and we are absolutely certain that it will go through. She has at least one true friend in the church that will keep her there. She has actually been taught by the missionaries on and off for almost three years. So we are reaping their baptisms. I hate how it works like that. Someone else starts the work but never sees the baptism that you get, then you start the work and someone else gets the baptism you worked for. I suppose that I should just be happy to see the salvation of a soul and leave it at that. I will do that instead, that's a happier thought.
Today we were able to go back to Sister C.'s, hurray for her; she's no longer sick. We learned today that, 1. Everyone has certain talents and one such talent is being able to see, use, and combine other people's talents with your own to make you and them both grow stronger. 2. In the Old Testament when they say 'bathe', they mean baptize. The word baptize wasn't introduced until Roman rule in the time of the New Testament. So in the Old Testament, to bathe is to baptize. 3. Between the time of Adam down to the time of Moses, anyone (worthy) could hold the priesthood but then that switched in the time of Moses to only those who sought for and deserved it.
I am enjoying the mission and I hope all of you are doing well.

love Elder Fields.

Monday, May 11, 2009

World War One Angst

I've been reading about World War One today, and been commenting on Twitter some things I noticed and ranted about concerning that war. I'll post my comments for you here to read:

"I think the well-to-do were high off something in the early 1900's."

"The cause of WWI lowers my view of the human race."

"Gosh people are stupid. WWI breaks out and people cheer with parades and waving of their flags."

"France: Oh lets throw our brightly colored troops at Germany in half-hearted effort to cross it's border w/o knowing their war preparations"

"You know... if you're going to go to war, be more creative than throwing your army at the other one hoping the other side has less men."

"Britain acts smartly in WWI, they subvert the Ottoman Empire from within, starting an internal power struggle."

"And then complications arise, namely the Balfour Declaration."

"And here I thought French and German tactics were stupid. But then I find out that Russian Generals sent their troops unarmed into battle."

Ha! The February revolution started in March!

@luvlyssa "And the Feb Revolution started in March for the Gregorian calendar, but February in the old Russian calendar."

"Back to reading the biased textbook story of the Russian Revolution under the Bolsheviks."

"Why was the old Russian Calendar 13 days behind ours?"

"Treaty of Brest-Litosvsk signed March 3, 1918 creating independent republics such as Latvia; birthplace of Dr. Doom."

"Idea: We'll make a peace treaty with just Britain, USA and France, ignoring other countries like Italy who helped us in the war. Sound good?"

"You know, you think everybody would have had enough death after WWI, but no. You give Russian Revolutionaries weapons and 3 million more die"

So yeah. Basically the Austrian heir to the throne gets knocked off by a Serbian, Austrians are ticked and Germany thinking it has the best and biggest stick on the continent encourages Austria to declare war on Serbia. Russia, thinking they are Serbia's big brother, declares war on Austria and drags France with it since they are allied. Germany then declares war, thinking it can defeat France quick enough to move onto Russia and that Britain won't join in quickly. They're wrong. Millions die. America finally joins and Germany is defeated. They devise a treaty that is a failure for not punishing anyone or causing reconciliation. Festering wounds ensue. Everybody are idiots. British slightly redeemed cause they caused the political downfall of the Ottoman Empire. Causing to fall from within.
Then influenza kills millions, and Russian civil war causes famine and disease, helped along by France, Britain and the USA and millions more die. Such distasteful ways at ruling the world. They receive a D- for their inability to govern the world.

What a joyful period isn't it?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

This weekend I took the opportunity to return to my parent's house in the vast outreaches of Tooele this weekend to visit for Mother's Day, and also to talk to my brother on the mission who got to call home today cause it was Mother's Day.

So his call went well, we talked with him, shared our testimonies, had fun with that. Earlier we went to my Grandmother's place in West Valley; visiting her for about an hour before heading to my family's sacrament meeting and awaiting my brother's call afterward.

Anywhat I discovered that my Grandma has some old bibles, like really old bibles. There is one that my dad used in his childhood that is 159 years old or so, leather-bound and nice looking. the other is definitely older, 200 years old at least. It's not in good condition or anything, but it's a tie to ancestors. That's awesome.

So that's all that I have to report except that I do indeed love my mother.

Have a great day y'all.

Friday, May 8, 2009

All For Nothing?

Well as you all know I have been attempting to do the Fast Track back option to attend regular day classes in the Fall with standing of previous. Well looks like that won't happen.

Apparently my ecclesiastical endorsement arrived after the March 1st deadline, so even getting the four independent study courses done, there's nothing that can be done. I mean I can take evening classes. But that's about it.

So pretty much there is no reason to have to work my butt off to get these four classes done. I mean I'm going to complete them, but now I don't have to be in such a rush. I'm going to go up and talk with them, but even so, unless a miracle happens, that I am praying for, there's no point in trying the fast track back option.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Missionary Thursday

Hello You all,
Well let's get down to business (Editors note: To defeat the Huns!). Thursday was just a transfer meeting we planned to go to but we had a last minute change of plans so it was just a normal day of mission work for us, seeing as no one in the companionship is heading anywhere this transfer. Friday, after a hard days work we met Elders Bl. and W.; the two new members of our district and just hung with the district getting to know each other better. Sunday was Elder B's birthday so that night we had a district party at the church. It was lots of fun.
In regards to the work its been a good week. we've been working hard the last three months and hopefully we will definitely be seeing the fruits of our labor. Monday reminded me a bit of my time with my last companion Elder C. cause most of our appointments canceled on us, so we spent the entire day doing media referrals, stop-by's and finding. That's pretty much all I did back with Elder C., so Monday was almost a flashback. Tuesday we worked hard again and only half our appointments canceled. After our last appointment we found an awesome park and decided to just play around for a bit. That park was a lot more fun then most parks back in Utah, it had loads of familiar stuff and things I had never seen at any park before. It was good to reward ourselves like that after a hard days work.
Wow, I'm surprised that I have so little to say this week. usually I have a lot more to say about this week. I guess nothing much is standing out anymore. Well I love you all and am looking forward to the mothers-day (Editor's Note: Which he still hasn't told us at what time he is planning to call. There is much shaking of fists going on.) phone call. Beware of my companions. For some odd reason they want to talk to my family too. It kind of worries me what they might have to say. That's it this time.

Love, Elder Fields.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Growing up I should have picked up on it sooner, I mean it was staring me right in the face but I didn't connect the dots until last week and then it all made sense. I mean when a guy in a heavy accent who refers to himself as Boris asking for my sister Natasha (Whose name isn't Natasha by the way) You think that maybe there is some ongoing school project, or it's an inside joke with a friend, never mind the long distance calls, the strange packages for her, letters written in a language that looked Russian and oddly timed departures with friends to do who knows what.

Of course I just thought she was weird; heck I'm the oldest brother, don't most brothers think their sisters are weird at that age?

But then it all connected last week when she was telling me about a dream she had. She dreampt that all five of us kids were together and that for some reason or another I accused her, in the dream, that she would be the most likely to betray us and be a traitor and she asked me what I thought about it; clearly thinking it was an innocent enough question. But with that question all the pieces fell into place and I knew what it all meant. My sister is a Soviet-Russian spy.

There was no other explanation, and when asking her about it I clearly saw the brief look of panic as she realized the impossible; that I knew her secret. She of course denied any activity of engaging in espionage with foreign countries, but I knew better.

Immediately upon learning the truth, I thought I would best warn my parents of my sister's traitorous behavior. I sent a quick text to my father saying that his beloved daughter was actually a spy. Though I expected some exclamation, some grief, some incredulousness, I was not prepared for his response.

When his response returned my heart sunk with horror upon reading the words, "That's cool, I want to be one too."

Clearly she had gotten to him long ago, softening him up with soviet propaganda, filling his head with lies. I knew not what to believe. Upon sharing my revelation with my younger brother I soon realized how deep the treachery went, cause he constantly defended her, saying that it wasn't possible that our sister was spy. But the most odd was that at bits and pieces his accent changed slightly, and his arguments seemed highly practiced to be some on the spot defense. I knew that he must be a spy too.

Of course the government doesn't believe me; I have no evidence, nothing to justify what I already know.

So it is my shame to report that my family are Soviet Russian spies. If I don't make it past the next two days, I hope one of you can do me this one favor. If I die I will transmit my last moments with them before they kill me to a wireless device hidden inside a locker in the airport. The key and instructions to get to the locker are hidden in the tower of my desktop above the dvd drive.

I wish you all the best, for it may already be too late.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


A bunch of friends from my old ward got together to play Cranium. I think it is quite spiteful, or the die was rigged.

For those that don't know you roll a die and proceed to the nearest color that you rolled, acting out/drawing/shaping clay or answering questions based on the card. And for my time for 95% of the time when we rolled the die it would only let us go to the next color one space away.

So I think Cranium just did it to be spiteful. It is quite mean.

Friday, May 1, 2009


I got a B- on the History Mid-term. That's pretty good.

Though why I thought Lisbon was in the Philippines and not the capital of Portugal is beyond me.