Thursday, December 31, 2009

Funny Protest Signs

I saw these here: 50 Best Protest signs of 2009. I just thought I would share some that I found funny.

There goes my AYBABTU hopes of salvation...

I agree. That was an awesome show.

Wait, if we spend Congress to the moon, and we declared war on the moon, have we declared war on Congress?
Also, don't we pay taxes for sewage? If we do, we already are taxed for peeing...

Enough said.


Just made me laugh is all.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Year End Review and Geekiness

So, I'm combining posts. I got the meme from Yellow MM and Tiburon, with a geeky #dirrrtmagic filled video for you all to watch. It only proves my geekiness and shame... I'll post the video first so you don't have to read the mass of text first to get at it.

Now for the meme!

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I took online classes at BYU. That was a pain. I also never uploaded a vlog either. Craziness.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I did not make any resolutions last year. So that means I kept them all?! Woo! 100%

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Sethicus and his wife have a very beautiful baby girl, Seraphim was born in November. (name not changed there)

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, one has died close to me, thank goodness. Also no one close to me has died either.

5. What countries did you visit? Sadly, I am a poor college student and did not travel. This must be remedied.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? World domination, good grades, smurfts, a bazillion abs, more faith, more self confidence and self-esteem.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June, because of Iran's elections. I want to help out. And the day Obama and irony won the Nobel Peace Prize.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? A- in Linear Algebra! Being re-admitted to BYU. Being called legit by several bloggers bloggers on Twitter. Overcame a bit of depression too... But shh! No one knows about that!

9. What was your biggest failure? Still haven't obtained world domination, didn't complete the fast track back option to get back into school for the fall semester.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only a little cold, and I also have some girl Alexandria up top in my head. I may need to get that looked into...

11. What was the best thing you bought? I bought the universe. I am still trying to find the price tag to see how much I spent on it.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Elder Fields. He has grown a lot since he has entered the mission in Chicago. Also, I'll celebrate any one of your all behaviors. It deserves it!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Mostly mine, for much of the year. I wasn't doing well in the polls, Nasa declared war on the moon without my say so... but things are better.

14. Where did most of your money go? Inside my belly and brain... er food and tuition?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Getting back into school, the green Iranian uprising, my blade, Alexandria!, and my new top hat!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? I am writing it. Give me time to finish, say, in 30 years?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you... Happier, more learned, wizened from feeling down and out and learning how to get back up again. Eager to get back in the game and will soon be richer when my student loan comes in

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? More active, more of myself, been more goofy, less social conscious. Fly. Managed my time better.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Less planning of global domination. Less feeling awkward, less sitting on my butt and playing games. Less studying like a loon for hours on end.

20. How did you spend Christmas? With my awesome family, killing bunnies.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? Not yet. Two more days shall see if that changes.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Community, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Colbert Report, Daily Show.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No, they have all been politically eliminated.

24. What was the best book you read? Harry Potter, the Tales of Beedle the Bard.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Pirates of Penzance

26. What did you want and get? Top hat and fencing sword. Old school rules.

27. What did you want and not get? How many times do I have to say global domination? I'd settle for the allegiance of a small 3rd world country... Anyone?

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Sherlock Holmes.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 23 and was homeless for a day. Also I moved into a new student ward the next day and didn't tell anyone.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting finished with some independent study courses. Proving to myself that I am not completely socially awkward.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Top hats, white gloves and a cane? How would you describe it?

32. What kept you sane? Have you seen my vlogs? What sanity?

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? This year? None really. None come to mind.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Iran. I want to do more, I want to help.

35. Who did you miss? Friends. Those I did not have the chance at meeting or was too awkward in first meeting and lost opportunities to hang out.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Bloggers, Some cool guys in my ward such as Adam and Bryce. My roommates.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: The value of being happy.

38. What are you looking forward to in 2010? Fencing. School. Programming.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "It's the eye of the tiger, the year of the fight..." - The Rocky theme song.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Silence of the Halls

I am now in possession of something many a college student would enjoy, but at the worst possible time; It's an empty apartment. During the Christmas holiday.

Everyone has either moved out or are still away for vacations. I arrived Sunday evening and was surprised to find myself alone. Of course the deadbolt was in place, which is incredibly hard to unlock, but I managed. But now I am here. I walked around the apartments that are part of the ward I attend, but nothing. All blackness. It was lonely. It felt like a ghost town.

But the good thing? Strutting. That is allowed. I did a little this morning. It was a tad liberating. Maybe I'll throw a party. But that depends on me getting federal loans, otherwise I'm still a poor college student.

So if you look up in the night and see a lone light on in an apartment complex, think of me. Remember those who may go mad from living inside their own skulls, the silence trapping them in, the walls creeping closer... Well, if I was claustrophobic. But still think of me.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

For Shame...

So... I succumbed. Well I told Alexandria that I would post a vlog today, and this is the only free opportunity I have between spending time with my family and going to a Christmas shindig to spend even more time with family.

So, I just turned on my camera with no script and started shooting. I hope some of you appreciate what is in the background. I never knew it was there... And many things I said are things that she says as well. I just felt no need to state them all. I did forget a Schwartz joke though. And note the shirt. The shirt is composed of awesome.

It is still being processed, but I'm embedding it for when it is up.

Umm, enjoy, and remember nothing was planned. It was all random. Not even the accent. If it makes you hang your head in shame...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Missionary Thursday

The latest letter in Elder Field's letter from his mission in Chicago, my brother.

Dear family and viewers,

Recently I discovered something that has helped me to become a little less lost in my new area. In the winter time, the shadows point north. With this bit of information, even though I still have trouble figuring out where we are going, it's now that much less difficult.
As for actual events of the week; the Christmas spirit has been running high this week. After we viewed some awesome decorated homes, we decided to do a little decorating of our own; but alas, we have but a single strand of lights and no tree. but then we got a brilliant idea! We now have the most artificial of artificial trees ever! We used the playschool basketball hoop that I inherited from Elder S. when he "died". (Editors note: Elder S. completed his two years of missionary service and went home. Hence, he "died".) We strung our strand of lights around it, then used pass-along cards as ornaments, and for the tree topper we used a rubber duck! We both agree that this is the best Christmas tree ever!!! (Editor's Note: Would this tree beat beat Charlie Brown's Christmas tree? I think so.)

Wednesday was our zone activity; it was basically a repeat of a previous activity in other zone; we went ice skating. I only spent about ten minutes on the ice but since it was my first zone activity outside the city I spent most of the time getting to know the other missionaries in the zone.

We got another pleasant surprise on Wednesday with a call from our star investigator (Editors Note: Investigators are people who missionaries are in the process of teaching the gospel) Eric. He wanted to meet with us every day this week until Christmas Eve so to speed up the process of his baptism. At first we were shocked because this absolutely never happens, that you can meet with an investigator every day, but we took advantage of the opportunity and did exactly as he requested.
Friday was the Joliet Christmas zone conference. I'd have to say this year's conference was far better then it was last year. The meeting started with some training from President R. and the zone leaders. I also learned that this year our families have to call us on Christmas instead of us calling them, and the church is being cheap so the family or the missionary has to pay. (Editors Note: I thought it was always like this?) After the trainings, we watched a movie called "The Fourth Wise Man", a very good movie of the 4th wise man who gets delayed in his coming to visit the baby Jesus and helps everyone on his way, taking a 33 year journey to get to Jerusalem. After watching the movie I remembered that last year in Beverly, Sister C. told us that story. Except... according to her there were actually 12 wise men, one for each tribe of Isreal, and the story was just a story. Huh. Ending the flash back and returning back to the present, we had lunch, sang Christmas carols, and was visited by Santa R./President Claus. At the end of the meeting, I resumed my fantasy from the Valpo conference that I told you about last week, but this time I played a role I have become all to familiar with; that of the child ravaging through the gifts on Christmas morning. After zone conference, we had a meeting with Eric, returned home and placed our gifts under our Christmas basketball hoop/tree to await Christmas morning.

Saturday was our ward Christmas party. We got there early to help set up, and later enjoyed dinner. The theme for this year's party was Christmas around the world. We learned about various beliefs and traditions from some different countries. My personal favorite was Australia. In Australia they believe that due to the inverted winter it's too hot for reindeer so Santa uses six white Kangaroos instead. they even have a song about it! I forget most of it but the chorus goes something like this...
Six white boomers, snow white boomers, flying through the sky in the blazing sun
Six white boomers, snow white boomers, used by Santa Claus for his Australian run...

That's become my new favorite Christmas song ever!! Also a Christmas party just wouldn't be a party without Santa Claus, so at the end all the kiddies got to go see him. Last year, for some reason, I didn't talk to "Santa" but this year i decided that I most definitely would. I was very impressed with this particular Santa as he knew exactly what I wanted and I didn't have to say anything; as a missionary he knew I would want more people to teach and told me he had pulled off Christmas miracles like that in the past. I was very exited at the idea of getting referrals from Santa Claus.

Sunday after church we met with Eric to discuss the details for his baptism. The date is set for this upcoming Saturday! Elder Sn. will be in the water and I will be giving a talk. I have got nine months left and hopefully in that time I will have the pleasure of being the one in the water, but for now I am just happy to be part of this baptism.

Sunday night, the Christmas spirit was still running high and we found a baptist church that was performing a Christmas concert and decided to take a peek inside. the musical performance was very good and after that the pastor spoke. As far as doctrine was concerned he was right on target but his historical information was a bit off and he didn't cite his sources so I wondered where he got some of that information. The wise men were on horses and it took exactly two months for them to arrive? December is a shepherd's busy season? Honestly I wonder where the pastor got his historical information.

Tuesday Elder Sn. gave into temptation and opened one of his packages which contained two identical stockings with twelve gifts inside and an explanation that it was a countdown to Christmas and to open one a day until then. But as it was three days until Christmas we had some fun and opened the first nine right away. That was a fun little activity that kept us both away from the rest of the gifts.
That's it for this week. Looking forward to our Christmas call on Friday

Sincerely, Elder Fields

A Toast!

First off, Giant, you fail. There is much fist shaking in the land.

Why you ask? Well this day two awesome people have met, have fallen under the spell of twue luv. It wasn't long ago, about this time around March when Sir Wally the 3rd met his lovely bride to be, Kristen.

Before this time, I always told him he would wed first. He denied it and claimed I would. But fate favored me and showed him some East Coast luvin; a truly awesome girl. And always amazed that she has fallen for him, another geek such as I. But truly an awesome, down to Earth guy.

And so I dedicate this post to them, to Wally the 3rd, my co-conspirator, my vice president nominee, my second, my campaign manager. One of the best of friends. And to you, Kristen, who shines light in Wally's life and renewed hope for the female gender in his eyes. Who both may hate that I am posting this video. But here it is.

Enjoy Tennessee.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

So Much to Do, So Little Time


It's the Christmas vacation, I'm up in the desolate wasteland of Tooele(It really is desolate) for the week and have decided to make a small list of things to get done before school starts.

  • Get through four chapters of my online English Class

  • Finish reading Tale of Two Cities

  • Get an early jump on my programming assignments

  • I suppose do an actual Vlog

  • See Sherlock Holmes

  • Pay for tuition and books. (Lame, I know)

  • Shake my groove thing at New Years

  • Per Alex, drive up to California (Assuming BYU doesn't take all my money)

  • Get a new phone

  • Pending the snow, rebuild the Naked Indian Snowman

  • So that is what I can remember. More will be added later.

    Saturday, December 19, 2009


    As I said before, one of my friends was preparing to win back his girlfriend. In the midst of the preparations we grabbed a camera. This will only be up most likely for a limited time... Or if my friends agree, we'll splice them altogether into one file and keep it on Youtube. So watch the first, which is an introduction, and the second which is the prepared speech.

    Oh, and if you want to watch myself make a fool of myself, see here, here and here. We were going to do a music video to Michael Jackson's Just Beat It song, but it didn't pan out. So thus I post the ones with mainly me in them to make fun of myself.

    Avatar; the True Power of Love

    First off, I am giving a spoiler alert for those of you who have not seen the movie Avatar. I don't know how much I may reveal. So if you want to see the movie first without being spoiled, leave now. If not, continue reading.

    If I were to describe Avatar in one sentence, I would say it is an awesome Sci-fi version of Pocahontas where John Smith joins the Native Americans, and with Grandmother Willow, they push the English back to sea.

    But awesomeness is not limited to a sentence. It fails to do awesomeness justice. To set the setting, humans have reached another planet that sustains life; Pandora. Like the "new world", this world is used as a mining center, to make a company rich. Probably because the air is toxic to humans, there is never any plans mentioned to colonize the planet, just mine it for all it is worth, serving the stockholder first. However the natives, the Na'vi don't like them mining. They are protective of the plants and worship the planet essentially as a god, being people of the earth, rangers, trackers, at harmony with their environment. So naturally most humans think the Na'vi are tree hugging pagans and thus feel justified in bringing arms to force the Na'vi to move so they can take the resources wanted. Such technology used are mechanical walker suits that remind me of a cross between the firepower in Zion from the Matrix and the mechanical walkers of Starcraft.

    Now as for the Na'vi, they're blue humanoids who have biological USB ports at the end of their ponytails. Seriously. The Na'vi, the horse creatures and some sort of large bird creatures, and other creatures too probably, have at the end of their ponytail thing strands of nerves so that when they intertwine, they form a sort of partnership; they become one creature. They can feel the creature's strength, its' heartbeat, and can direct the creature with thoughts. You want to go forward, the creature goes forward.

    But not only that, all plant life, particularly the trees, act as nerve cells of the planet. They are literally connected and electricity sort of flows through them, like brain synapses. It is like Sid Mier's Alpha Centauri game, where the planet is literally alive and has a form of intelligence. Or in technology terms, the planet is an archaic network hub that stores memories, feelings, voices. There are "Prayer Trees" that act as the router that the Na'vi can intertwine their ponytail nerves to and can literally hear memories, hear voices, can access somewhat the information stored by Eywa, the name given for the the archaic intelligence that the planet Pandora possesses. Which, as I said above, shows my geekiness in that I am reminded of the game Alpha Centauri by Sid Meir. In that game, the planet is alive, it directs it's animals, everything lives in a balance. There is that similarity that I saw.

    And then there is the cgi animation, where everything is believe, awe inspiring and looks like it was shot in an actual jungle. The animation and graphics are awesome and well done. The Na'vi look realistic, not like a Jar-Jar Binks puppet, showing every movement of muscle, every little thing that does not at one instant fail to destroy the illusion.

    So the story? Jake Sully is a paralyzed ex-marine who gets an offer; the opportunity to go to Pandora and use an Avatar, a genetically enhanced Na'vi like body custom taylored to the genetic code of a person. Basically uplinking your nervous system and brain patterns to the Avatar, to better study the planet and get to know the Na'vi better. Sully gets this offer because his twin brother, the scientist, died.

    So the story is about Jake, how this marine gets to know the Na'vi and has to decide between obeying like a good obedient soldier, or do what's right. Who must sacrifice all he knows for love, or give it up.

    Avatar is very well made, well produced and has an excellent story. It is worth seeing a few times, as the imagery, the symbolism, and adventure are all real, vivid and connects with the viewer. You will enjoy this movie, and I for one want to see it again.

    Oh, and Alexandria, you may want throw Sam Worthington onto your Monster Hott Guy's list, and maybe onto some other things as well. ;)

    Thursday, December 17, 2009

    Quick, in Brief

    To the blogger world, well mainly to those who do not follow my every movement on Twitter, I am now part of the employed world again.

    I was let go a year ago because it is a university student job and I didn't qualify as a student for a little bit, I couldn't work there. (Slacked in school. Not going to happen again.)

    And so I am hired back where I worked a year ago. I had a decision between a programming job where I have barely looked at the code to make a final decision and my old job where I gained SQL experience, some php and html job experience and good computer skills. Only high level engineers got paranoid about the power we students held and stripped us of our access to the back end, looking at the inner core of the programs worked with. Restructuring has occurred, and needless to say, I am an over glorified telephone operator, complete with LDS chapel directory assistance.

    But the good thing is that things are very laid back, so there is some free time from day to day to relax. That's the good thing. However, it's not as active as I'd like. Upon being hired I felt that the Universe was righted somehow, that things are back in motion, and this is a fun place to work, I'd rather not stay in this department for too long. I have to up my programming skills so I can transfer to a team that actually programs, or one of the centralized teams that deal with hardware and actual resolving of computer issues. So that is always good.

    Also, for a heads up for one of the next posts, I may post a video. I was hanging out with some guys in my ward and one of the guys was prepping to talk to an old girlfriend to go out again. We recorded what he was going to say, it was hilarious. We may put it on Youtube, and if we do, I will display it here.

    If not, if they don't want it online, then I'll just post the transcript. It is a hilarious, hilarious movie. Gave me a freaking asthma attack too!

    Have a merry Christmas,


    Wednesday, December 16, 2009

    Politically Correct Missionary Wednesday

    My brother, Elder Fields serves in Chicago as an LDS/Mormon missionary. These are some excerpts to his tales...

    Dear viewers,

    Two things I forgot to say last week: 1) Traffic in the suburbs is only congested during rush hour, instead of all the time, like it is in the city. 2) For once in my mission, my apartment is on the ground floor so I don't have to climb a billion stairs to get there. With that said, we shall move onto the events of this past week!

    My companion and me had the privilege of having dinner with our bishop this week, something that I never had done in my previous two wards, That was a good experience. Also, once a month our ward volunteers at a soup kitchen and Thursday we had the opportunity to help outwith that. It's just another memorable mission moment.

    On Saturday and Sunday our ward put on their 17th annual live nativity. The show ran once every half hour, they had live animals and everything. It was absolutely amazing to behold. I learned one important bit of information from this show; where the set was set up, right behind the inn stage was a big tree. So no wonder there was no room in the inn, that tree took up all the room. Ha ha ha! I kid really, but in all seriousness, the show was fantastic. The show was better the second night as there were more people, warmer weather and no rain.

    After viewing the show there were more activities inside; they had several really good musical performances in the chapel, including a high school choir Saturday night. It was really weird to have a high school choir in a church, but it was also very cool. The best part was that there was no argument about separation of church and state. I have heard lots of stupid arguments about that kind of stuff out here and am glad nothing was said.

    In the first overflow there were over 80 smaller nativity scenes of various types and sizes. Some of my favorites included the yarn people, and the Asian displays; but my absolute favorites were the Eskimo snowmen and the Vegi-tales scene. The last room held a mix and mingle with cookies, cider, and the 'Joy to the World' movie. I think the whole two nights were very successful in regards to missionary work.

    When all was said and done, we spoke to the sister who was in charge of putting this whole show together. She thanked us heavily for our help in not only the event itself but also for all the help we offered in setting up and taking down for the event. I kind of admired her for all the trouble she had to go through to put this thing together. She only had a month's notice in getting everything together and hardly had any volunteers to help her out besides the missionaries until the last week or so. She told us it could have been alot easier but there were lots of obstacles in the way. There were two groups of people involved; the first didnt want to help much or recruit help because they were afraid of offending people. The second was the lazy group whome the first feared to offend. I had thought that these two groups only existed in the city but it turns out they are everywhere in the mission! I have a strong dislike for the atitude of that second group. They think that just being baptised and attending church is enough, well I have a news flash for them: It's not!! Get a calling and get to work! If you think your own soul is saved, that's fine but it give no excuse to not help others and bring them closer to Christ. You're not only person in the church, nor are you just a viewer, you should be in the church to help move the work forward. As far as the first group goes, they are just being stupid in their attitude of "let's not offend them, so we don't ask". If they get offended because you ask them to do something, then so be it, but don't be a coward about it. You're not helping the cause by simply letting them be lazy.

    This group of people realy truly aggravate me. They are the reason this program almost didn't happen. From the beginning this program was meant to be a huge effort in mission work, and a great Christmas program. These people decided that in their fear of also offending nonmembers, if they had to have the show at all, they decided to make it just a fun little gathering and avoid any offense. Hello!! How dumb can you get? If you're going to put on a huge program like this, it must be for the gaining of and strengthening of a testimony, of witnessing the great miracle of the Savior's birth; not just a fun activity for those who already have a strong testimony of Christ and the gospel.

    That's what's tearing this work and world appart, the fear to offend people. You can not only see it here, but in the political corectness and attiude of the world today, if you want something, just get offended and now people give it to you on a silver platter. (Has Elder Fields been paying attention to Lieberman's hissy fit in the senate?!!) But I digress..., back to the subject at hand.

    People in this chuch need to stop worrying about being so offensive, you can offend someone by just saying you're a Mormon; I do that all the time. So quit yer bellyaching! And besides, this program wasn't meant to get people into the water, it was meant to get them interested, show them the true meaning of Christmas, what this church really is about. Showing up doesn't mean they have to be dunked in the baptismal font, all it means is that they wanted to have a good time in this Christmas season. We extended the invitation and they came, that's all we asked. It was meant to show that we are human too, and if they have questions about us they can ask and we'd be more than happy to give them the answer. I didn't talk to too many people there, the missionaries were there more for presence then anything else. Nonmembers would go to their member friends for the answers they wanted. We know we had some success because we had several tables full of material, pass along cards, ect.. and by the end of those two nights a lot of that stuff had vanished. So even with the struggle that went on in putting it together, the event was very successful. I hope this event continues for years to come.

    Well enough off my rantings about the show, let's move on to something more pleasant. Monday afternoon we recieved a call from Elder G., the vehical coordinator, who asked us for help in doing car checks for the Valparaiso Indiana Zone Conference on Tuesday. The both of us were more than happy to help out, as it was a chance to take a road trip to a zone neither of us have served in, and now I can say that I've been to seven states. After agreeing to go we were less then happy to find out that to get to zone conferance on time we would have to wake up at 4 am to be there on time. So that moring we dragged our tired selves out of bed and made our way to to the mission office. We were in for a very pleasent surprise when we got there; we got the opportunity to play santa clause by loading up all of the missionary gift packages into the mission van. At 5 am it made the job alot more pleasent to imagine Elder G. as Santa and us as his "little helpers" loading up his slay. I continued this image throughout the trip and it made the whole conference and day even better. When all the missionaries arrived and the Christmas zone conferance meeting actualy started, I imagined that when we were unloading the packages from the mission van that the missionaries were the kiddies all fast asleep in bed (Editor's Note: Was the Mission President's talk that boring?) and we unloaded all the gifts from the slay to under the tree, aka the package room. I imagined that the happy joy I felt in delivering all those gifts must be how Santa feels every year when he makes his Christmas run. Then I was snapped back into reality by the true reason we were there, car checks. :( There was nothing magical that could be compared to christmas here. After our task was done we attended a portion of their Christmas zone conference. Then I jumped back into my fantasy land by imagining that lunch was Santa's milk and cookies. After zone conference, unlike Santa, I stuck around like a proud parent who would watch their kids ravage through the gifts on Christmas morning. This also gave me great joy, even though it was just the missionaries tearing through their Christmas packages.

    That joy I felt must truely be how Santa, and all parents feel on Christmas morning. Give it five to ten years and I would be more then happy to do the job again for my own kids.
    Other than my Christmas illusion, O discovered something else: Valparaiso Zone is a very enjoyable place. It's a small zone with fewer missionaries, but I think if I had my choice, if I couldn't go back to the city and die there, (Editor's note: end the mission there) I would want to die in this zone.

    Wishing you all the christmas joy I felt this year,

    love, Elder Fields.

    Monday, December 14, 2009

    The Veil Parts...

    The Veil parts
    Where once was peace
    Reveals a raging storm.

    A storm thought ended, but not
    The peace of the eye of a hurricane
    Was all that was experienced.

    Time passes, time flows
    But the past tidal currents
    Flow up to the present.

    A storm violent, a storm long
    No end in sight, no hope at the outset
    No Wilson the volleyball for company.

    As I sit, the storm rages
    Wondering if it is blunder
    Wondering if it is safe to venture out.

    No way to measure wind speed,
    No stars to see, no light given
    only the light of a torch to guide the way.

    Flickering, flickering,
    The wind, the rain and darkness
    Threaten to put out the light.

    No shelter to say in, no haven to rest
    Must keep walking, lest the light be lost.
    And so I trudge ever forward...

    Hoping for the end to the storm,
    Hoping to see the sun, stars or moon,
    A little light in the never ending darkness.

    And thus I walk, with a downcast face
    Cold, wet, hungry and tired
    Hoping hoping for the respite of the storm.

    Sunday, December 13, 2009

    Just Over the River...

    There was an old who lived in a Home,
    Marbles had he lost, mind simply gone,
    Lives over the river just 3 blocks down,
    Wondering where he left his coat at.

    His suitcase left up in the carpenter shop,
    95 years old with children his age,
    A mother still living at 106,
    And somewhat aware that he lost his marbles.

    Wanting a ride out,
    thinks we're his ticket out,
    Following us down the hall,
    By the sound of our music.

    An epically funny old man,
    asked by a lady to back out of her room
    without a beat, replied he;
    "I would, but I don't know where back is."

    Now Christmas vacations be upon us;
    Oh, George, you shall be missed,
    And thus until next year,
    We bid you a fond adieu.

    And now when I glance upon a river,
    My thoughts shall be turned to you,
    Of your home near the river
    And the laughing we all shared.

    So yeah, George is a guy in a nursing home in Orem. I usually go with some friends on Sunday to sing to people there; hymns and Christmas carols, and George is just a funny, rad old man.

    Saturday, December 12, 2009

    A Public Service Announcement

    To all men young and old; this probably doesn't need to be stated, but just in case it does, you'll thank me later: If accused of stalking a girl, run. Run far away in the other direction and don't turn back. Trust me.

    Unless she's flirting with you, but if you have even a doubt that she is, it is best to run far far away.

    This public service announcement has been brought you by the Coalition of Recently Accused Younger Brothers of Stalking. CRAYBS.

    Especially when said younger brother sends a text asking if it is a bad thing if you are accused of stalking...

    Friday, December 11, 2009

    Ode to an Online Lovah!

    Twas an ordinary thing
    Another blog post, another entry
    A meme of all things
    Nothing entirely special...

    But through the luck of writing
    Of Stalin and global domination
    Came laughter hoped for
    but unexpected seduction...

    But through lamentable distance
    Through the vigors of studies
    By the emptiness of wallets
    And overuse of Twitter...

    Came the only possibility
    A possibility of laughter
    A possibility of exaggeration
    Of innuendo, heroics and Twilight...

    Of love not unfeigned,
    Of holla's and #statements
    Of attempted embarrassment;
    A chance encounter with an online lovah!

    A journey started, tales spread
    Awe and wonder in the best of friends
    laughter, kudos and mostly joking
    All resulted in the tales of the journey...

    Of yoga in the Tin Can,
    Of beds debunked and sullied
    Discovery of Twilight read and blogged
    And the rescuing from a Trojan...

    All this silliness and more
    Awkward friendship to the moon,
    Red faced from laughter
    makes up that which is said, "Twue Luv".

    And to you, Midear, I say
    And dedicate this as well
    Of all the laughter had and spread,
    The joys of having an online lovah!

    May the good times roll
    The laughter ensue
    And perhaps with time
    Embarrass me, you will as well.

    Thursday, December 10, 2009

    Early Morning Ramblings

    You know what? I am guilty of being a typical BYU male student. I plead guilty. I thought I avoided it, yet I have fallen into that pitfall that comes from living at BYU.

    I mean the social aspect of it. Yes, the ward set up is a good way to encourage being social, to get out more often and not be solely a slave to homework. But how often do we actually become friends with those people in our ward?

    Maybe I am just more jaded, maybe I am older and less naive, but honestly, how many of us are only friends with some people because we are in the same ward? Honestly? People move out, you move out, and how often do you keep in contact with them? How often do you say hi? Yes, there is facebook where you might be facebook friends, but that does not count at all unless you comment on that person's profile on a semi-regular basis. How much of our interactions with people in our ward is the mandatory "hey, what's up", or just checking out the dating scene?

    Sadly to say, that with me, that checking out the dating scene and being minimally friendly makes up most of my interactions with people in the ward. Do I go out of my way to say hi, to try and converse? A little. Do I hang out with some of them? Yeah. But only because we happen to be in the same ward. Because we were grouped together.

    And so I act differently cause I don't really know them, cause none of us have gone out of our way to pierce through the "ward buddies" bubble and become real friends. But yet when I drive out to Salt Lake to hang out with people I have known for years, I am able to be myself, joke around more, stuff that I don't do down at Provo cause I then am portrayed as creepy.

    So it is early. I had a great night just hanging and chilling with my friends. We went to Temple square, hung out, had hot chocolate, talked of a million things, had plenty of sexual innuendo (A couple of friends are married to each other, it happens. A lot) and I enjoy myself. Even with the jests, the sarcasm, we have known each other long enough in some aspects that it is just a part of our friendship. Heck, there is an awesome super cute girl who I have known for only four or five months that I am greater friends with than I will ever be with most, if any, of the girls in my ward. That may sound harsh, but it is true. Because as BYU students, maybe Mormon Single Adults, marriage comes first, with dating carefully concealing it, and then friendship after grades.

    Here? Well I'm nervous cause I don't know anyone. There's whole entire byu dating atmosphere to deal with, because practically everyone is trying to get married and being just friends does not cut it.

    So, I repent. I am not going to have this be a journey where I look for a spouse only. That is not what I signed up for. Yes, when I eventually find a wife, she's going to be my best friend, but that does not mean I am going to leave everyone else I knew behind. That does mean I am going to throw away relationships and stop being friendly to people cause we are no longer in the same ward. It does mean I have to step up and be friendlier, and hang out more with people. It may mean I have to be blunt with some girls and tell them I'm not looking to get married to them. I just want to be their friend beyond this ward. It may turn some girls absolutely off, considering this is a strange alien concept, but it will have to be done.

    Anyways, I'm tired. Mostly physically cause it is two in the morning, but that is my resolve, to be more human towards people and less of a typical dating BYU male. And if I get shunned, then so be it.

    And I apologize for being all over the place with my thoughts. I'm tired. I may edit for clarity later.

    Wednesday, December 9, 2009

    To Steal or Not to Steal Missionary Wednesday

    Dear viewers,

    I will start this letter off by talking about my new district. When I left my last district it was ridiculously old; I was the youngest missionary in the zone and I had been out 14 months. In this new district I went from being youngest to third oldest missionary. It feels weird being on this end of the time-served scale and having that many people younger then me. It also feels weird because from the beginning of my mission on, there was always someone in the district that I knew. However, In this district for the first time I really don't know anyone. But I have 6 weeks to get to know them, and they seem like good people so I don't really have anything to worry about. (Editors Note: Unless they are serial killers in disguise)

    I also learned some slightly disturbing news this week: Half of the members in this ward think of us as nothing more than dinner guests. We come, we eat, we leave, and that's it until next time or when we see each other in church. That's going to have to change. We need to get them to realize that member work is the most effective way of mission work, and we need their help to be more effective because missionary work alone just isn't enough most of the time.

    Another bit of news that's good or bad, depending on your spin, is that I've learned from the Spanish missionaries who cover our area that they teach everyone they tract, whether they are English or Spanish speaking. No wonder the Spanish program is so much more successful than the English program, they steal our baptisms and work! When we find a Spanish speaking person to teach, we give them that referral. Their job is the Spanish program, shouldn't they be returning our favor by giving us their English referral. It just makes sense doesn't it? But then again, it really shouldn't matter so long as the person getting taught gets baptized. And maybe, just maybe, that set of missionaries could do a better job at teaching and bringing that person closer to Christ than we could.

    Now the last bit of news before the events of the week; I found out that in the suburbs, not only do we have to call in to our zone leaders every night but we also have to call in to our ward mission leader. That doesn't make any sense at all! We didn't have to do that in the city and we report everything that's happened with the work to him on Sunday anyway during MCM. Why do we have to call him nightly when we already do that with our zone leaders? Calling in once a night was fine, but twice? Is that really necessary? Well now that I'm done venting, on with the events of the previous week.

    Last Wednesday and Thursday we spent six hours of each day helping to set up for and clean up for the Napperville Mayor's Holiday Prayer Breakfast meeting. Our district is literally right outside of the Napperville zone, if the stake boundaries were slightly different we would be in that zone rather than the Joliet Zone. That's why they decided to have us help. Basically that whole meeting was a big advertisement for the YMCA, who hosted the event. It was a "this wasn't intended to be a fundraiser, but give us your money anyway" type thing. President R. was at the event, so afterward we had our president's interviews. It was full of praises for good work but also warning and suggesting that there were still areas I can improve on. There were three other churches involved in the event, but they basically showed up for the event. We were the ones that did all the work, including bringing and taking back the supplies, like tables, chairs, and other stuff used for the event, taking them to and from the churches that loaned them for the event. Surprisingly our supplies were the hardest to move, the other churches all had a really good system for moving their stuff that made it a load easier for us. After everything was done, we were exhausted so we went home and took a very long well deserved nap.

    This Sunday was my first fast Sunday outside the city and I looked forward to seeing what that was like. In the city there were some people who know how to bear a testimony, then again, there are others who completely don't get what a testimony is supposed to be and are classic examples of what your not supposed to say. Ex., a lump on your breast, your awesome school week, subjects having nothing to do with the gospel, etc... this last week there was none of that, it was actually a normal testimony meeting, no crazy people or anything.

    This monday we got a new investigator, a guy who wants to marry his girlfriend but she told him he would have to take the lessons first. We weren't sure if he was the real deal or whether he was just doing it for her. But after meeting with him we could see he was golden, he had questions for us and even started to read the Book of Mormon without being asked to. We know for sure he's golden (Editors Note: Golden in missionary terms means someone absolutely ready to be baptized as soon as possible.) because when we committed him to be baptized, he neither jumped into it nor declined. He wants to be baptized when he's ready. Our goal is to get him baptized by the first week of January, before the girl goes back to school and he goes back into the military.

    stay tuned for next week
    love, Elder Fields.

    Monday, December 7, 2009

    The Passing of a Roommate

    It occurred about 9:30 pm tonight. The sheets ripped off the mattress. The dresser drawers emptied swiftly. A presence now gone. A feeling of emptiness, a vacant spot in the room.

    Empty, quiet. No longer shall there be someone up at the crack of dawn, no longer shall the glare of the computer screen be dimmed. Only emptiness and quiet, where a great man once lay.

    Gone he is to a comfier mattress, to another room adjacent to mine. Gone he is from a creaky bed to one slightly more stable. Gone are his clothes, his books, his very presence, to another abode.

    Gone is he to a roommate with a similar sleeping schedule, gone is he to greener pastures. Such are times, and tragic can they be.

    John, you are a roommate I have lost, but haven't. And with thy departure, you have bestowed upon me my own room, for a time.

    But... you shall be missed. Greatly. God speed, my dear brother.

    Till we meet again. Most likely in the morning.

    I'm innocent, you see, innocent!

    It was a long weekend, I apologize for not updating. I have to report that I won't be the 12 Days of Christmas like I did last year. I'm too tight for money at the moment.

    But... to sort of make up for it, in which nothing can be proved. I'm totally innocent. But there's this girl in the ward who is cool. She's shy, like me, but goes to all the social things, and tries to be social. Anywho, she apparently is suffering from a lack of food. Something I read on her facebook status (it was on my main page. That and I like to read statuses so I can humorously reply) and through talking to her, I, and some others, learned she was low on food.

    So by hiring a stealth ninja to deliver the goods in the middle of the day, in which my involvement in said process with others is unconfirmed, the ninja delivered some non-perishables collected by those who hired the ninja.

    I just thought this would be something nice to share as it is the Christmas season and all. Not that I had anything to do with it of course. There's word that it may have been a group effort and the ninja was imported from Japan. Or maybe not. Rumors are weird that way.

    So... nothing to see here, please mosey on away. Thank you very much.

    Thursday, December 3, 2009

    Facebook Meme Time

    As I'm getting sick and have nothing of interest to try and make humorous, I thought I would do this meme thing that my brother tagged me on in Facebook. Something about 50 questions... Ask more if you so desire. So, to put a spin on it, I'll give two answers. One is the serious answer, one is the silly answer. It's up to you to determine which is which. Or I may just give one answer, depending on the question.

    1. Were you named after anyone? A) Some LDS apostle who once was president of some college. B)Named after Joseph Stalin, which fuels my desire to take over the world.
    2. When was the last time you cried? A) The last time I laughed super hard. Probably yesterday. B)Whenever I realize Stalin is dead.
    3. Do you like your handwriting? A) Cursive: No, Normal: Meh. B) What handwriting?

    4. What is your favorite (lunch) meat? A)Monkey. B)Chorizo.

    5. Do you have kids? A) Only in my mind. B) Do clones and doppelgangers count? C)What about uploaded personalities on the internet?

    6. If you were another person would you be friends with yourself? No. I'd challenge the me who is not me to a duel to save the world from him. That, or I'd be friends with him to be his second in command and then off him at a critical moment in time.
    7. Do you use sarcamsm? No, I let my sword do the talking.

    8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes, but they're the ones you gave up a while ago.

    9. Would you bungee jump? Yes, but only when the planets and stars align. It's part of some crazy pagan ritual designed to give me ultimate power

    10. What is your favorite cereal? Captain Crunch, Bloody O's and this cereal. Cause I pity da fool.

    11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No, I slip them off to throw at my image of President Bush II, hoping he feels it in his gut.

    12. First alcoholic beverage? What if I don't know, cause I mixed a bunch of stuff together in which all the alcohol canceled itself out?

    13. What is your favorite ice cream? The fruity kind. The fruity kind that are in fruit to be precise.

    14. What do you first notice about people? If the person is a cute girl, a guy, or a robot who wants to violate me because I mysteriously have its entire history and culture implanted in my head

    15. Red or pink? Red, except during BYU/U of U rivalry week (don't want to lynched) and pink, but only on ties. Cause pink ties are super awesome and manly.

    16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? Shy, quiet, still haven't taken over the world, that you don't love me, that you won't be my lover, that I'm writing this still wondering what other random thing I will write down. Like pie!

    17. Who do you miss the most? Certain Mexican hotties that I haven't seen in a while. You. What, you say we haven't met? Of course we have. I've just been busy oiling your bedroom window to better meet you.

    18. Do you want everyone who reads this to answer these questions? Only if they do not read the fine print where doing so implies that you are ok with me taking over the world and nuking mars.

    19. What color of pants and shoes are you wearing? You know, if I were color blind, this would be a hard question. Thankfully I am not.

    21. What are you currently listening to? Currently playing is Phantom of the Opera: The point of no return. Oh, and all the voices in my head singing along with it, in every octave imaginable.

    22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Awesome

    23. Favorite Smell? The smell of global dominion. Or just good home-cooked food.

    24. Who was the last person you talked to? My roommate, in a five way conversation with myself.

    25. Do you like the person you got this from? Yes, he makes an excellent servant and lackey.

    26. Favorite sports to watch? Football, Basketball, and Quiditch

    27. Hair Color? Sources say blond. Others say dirty blond. Others were unable to give their full answer before they came to an untimely death.

    28. Eye Color? Thanks to contacts; all of them. But mostly blue, best for staring into the eyes of the ladies.

    29. Do you wear contacts? Occasionally.

    30. Favorite food? Mexican, plus some excellent recipe from the Willie Handcart Company. Tastes a bit funny though

    31. Scary movies or happy endings? Proper grammar in asking questions, and wondering why scary movies can have happy endings, or why there isn't room for scary happy endings.

    32. Last movie you watched? I think Rocky 2. I'm not sure about that. It might have been some secret memoirs of world dictators. But that's supposed to be a secret.

    33. What color of shirt are you wearing? Reddish. Not answering why though.

    34. Summer or Winter? Winter.

    35. Hugs or kisses? I refuse to answer a question so blatantly biased to Hershey's.

    36. Favorite desert? Marzipan; that which is truly mana to my soul!

    37. Most likely to respond? A super cute girl who I have seduced into joining my world order. Hopefully.

    38. Least likely to respond? Said cute girl who doesn't want to admit that she is now seduced.

    39. What are you currently reading? The Silmarillion, and How to be a Gentleman.

    40. What is on your mouse pad? It's actually made of mice fur...

    41. What did you watch on TV last night? Fox News, if you play Glenn Beck's program backwards, he gives tips on how to conquer the world, how to get Obama's soul, and that careful use of the Tellitubbies will make people do what you want them too; cause no one wants to be inflicted by such horrors as the Tellitubbies for very long.

    42. Favorite sound(s)? Girls. Yes, girls are and can be a sound.

    43. Rolling Stones or the Beatles? Both. At the same time. Playing in such a pattern to reveal the mysteries of life.

    44. What is the furthest from home you have been? Mexico, and in other dimensions, Mars.

    45. Do you have any special talents? I can whistle with my hands, can count things down with extreme accuracy, and looking extremely dashing and debonair in a top hat.

    46. Where were you born? I wasn't born. I was cut out violently in attempts to end my horrific existence. They failed.

    47. Whose answers are you looking forward to read? Yours.

    48. How did you meet your spouse/significant other? I am still tracking her movements and learning her schedule to bump into each other at the perfect time.

    49. Is the cup half empty or half full? I refuse to acknowledge the existence of said "cup". What is this cup you speak of?

    50. If you could sit down at dinner with five people, who would they be? Either Obama and other world leaders, Hillary Duff, the Olsen Twins, Felicia Day, Taylor Swift, or just with some friends. Actually, as the question never stipulates the number of dinners, then I'll eat with all them, five at a time, which includes you who are reading this.

    So yeah. Feel free to ask more I suppose.

    Wednesday, December 2, 2009

    I call 'Uncle'

    Maybe it's just because I am a poor Utah boy with limited cultural understanding of my own nation. Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe I'm from the future trying to save the past from itself. Ok, only the first two are likely, I wish I was a time traveler though.

    Anywho, what is the correct use of the word 'holla'? Is it like saying or shouting 'hurray' or 'Huzzah'? Is it synonymous with 'cool' and 'awesome'? Does it give me images of baby birds hollering at their mother for more worm chow? All of the above?

    Also, what are its' origins? Did it originate in California? Is it secret Leet speak? A robotic rallying cry for when robots eventually usurp their fleshy masters?

    So yeah. I just don't know. I thought it would be best to ask here.

    And yes, I am aware that just by asking and not knowing earns me all sort of lame points. I'm hoping to redeem those someday though.

    Tuesday, December 1, 2009

    A Little of Obama's Speech Tonight

    Yeah, I'm delving a little into Obama's speech here. Just a little of my thoughts on it. I'm not going to go into a full analytical discussion to persuade you to believe one thing or another. I'm not that into politics, I don't hope to ever be that into politics and will run from it. I like to be informed and get involved locally. That's it.

    If you didn't watch Obama's speech, I suggest you read his speech so you know first hand of what was said and generate your own opinion before reading or listening to other sources. Find out what was said then listen to the analytical discussions of it.

    I think it was a well written speech. He gave a time line of our occupation of Afghanistan, with an emphasis that because the Taliban would not hand over Bin Laden, because they refused to cooperate, we invaded and were unified. It was not like Iraq where we had false information of Nukes and went in. We were all for it. I think on some level or another, that is important to remember. That we, as a nation, were unified in wanting to kick Al-Qaeda's butt.

    So given that and the 8 years of occupying Afghanistan, we are sending 30,000 more soldiers to help with nation building. There are clear time lines and objectives. Whether or not they are feasible is not something I can reasonably analyze. But we're trying at least.

    As for what is not said, or can be read between the lines, I think is this: President Obama has studied this issue long and hard, despite Cheney and others saying he was dithering, he studied the issue out, he took his time to read into it. And he has so much more information that he cannot share because of their classified nature. We cannot leave now because we have a responsibility to at least try and help the Afghan government to grow. We haven't done that. But Obama also let know those in Afghanistan that they are to take up responsibility, that we will be leaving.

    I think it is a good time line. I think, politically, it is good for Obama too. If it does succeed, then it means we would have drastically ended an 8 year conflict, right around the campaign season too. So if it goes well, it benefits him. It benefits us as a nation because we don't lose face. We give it one more try, and if it fails and we pull out, we pull out because we gave it our all. And if it succeeds, it means Al-Qeada is scattered more, the government secured, the people safer.

    Anyways, that is all I am going to say. There are tactics and all sorts of information that hasn't been told to us, nor do I think it will be told any time soon, but I think because of how we have handled Afghanistan, and our responsibilities, we cannot just withdraw. We also cannot stay forever.

    So yeah, read his speech. Educate yourselves. Do it!

    Missionary Tuesday?!

    The latest from my brother, Elder Fields, in Chicago.

    Once again, hello to you all,

    This week has been full of surprises. I've seen things in this last week in the suburbs of Woodridge that after 14 months in the city I forgot ever existed: Wide open spaces, single family homes, proportionate driveways, garages in the front, mail boxes, and on one clear night I actually saw the stars! There are also hills! Our apartment has a big hill behind it that would be great for sledding when the snow comes. With the homes and the hills around here, there are parts of my area that feel like I've stepped through the twilight zone back into Utah, except hills are no substitute for mountains and the members around here live miles apart. I've also gotten lost quite a bit; there are no mountains, no big city skyline, or a lake to tell me where I am. It's a good thing I'm not the designated driver, otherwise we would never get where were going. The suburb areas are so much bigger than the areas in the city and unlike the city, looking at street signs doesn't really help much here. Unless you've lived here for a while and know your way around, you're going to be absolutely lost. I feel all turned around and backwards here and I can't tell which way is north and east. I suppose if I stay here long enough I'll eventually get the hang of things.
    The first half of this week was very depressing, I felt ripped off of from my time in Cicero and missed it terribly. It didn't help that it was overcast and rainy most of the week either. Add that to the bad news i had heard about other missionaries in the mission and what they're going through, it was hard not to get depressed; especially when you spend Thanksgiving with total strangers. It really didn't feel like Thanksgiving to me. But after Thanksgiving the weather cleared up, I heard good news and things just started to get better. I still miss Cicero, but Woodridge is my area now and my work is here.

    Well, about my new companion Elder S., he was actually born in California, has lived in 6 other countries but his last home was Utah. His family will be living in Germany for his homecoming, so when he gives his homecoming talk it will be to people he doesn't know in a place he's never lived in a language he doesn't speak! Crazy, isn't it?! When I got here, Elder S. informed me about our current investigators, we may as well have none. Two of them can and will never come to church and the third is permanently moving. The area is really struggling right now, so much like how my last two areas were really starting from scratch. I feel like I'm a damage control missionary. They put me in struggling areas, I work my butt off to help it get better, then I don't get to see the results of my efforts. Beverly and Cicero all had wonderful investigators but they progressed slowly and we got moved before I really could see all the good I had done.

    The suburbs are also different because the city gets a lot of media referrals and work from that, out here we get far less media and most of our work we have out here comes from members; if they don't help us then nothing can get done. Lucky for us, we get fed almost every night, so we can earn the trust of all the members and actually get their help.

    Sunday was church and I was in for even more surprises: Unlike in the city, each suburb ward has only one set of missionaries, unlike my last two areas, the church we go to isn't in our area, oddly enough its not even in our zone! Another shock was that they had sacrament meeting first!! That's another thing I forgot ever existed. I can't even remember the last time I had that. It was such a long time ago, none of the the wards in Utah don't schedule sacrament first anymore, at least none of the ones I have been to within the last few years before my mission. I cant even remember how old I was the last time I did that.

    Well, that's about it for the shocks and surprises of this week. I will probably have more of those next week
    With regards,

    Elder Fields.