Friday, December 19, 2008

Operation Christmas: Day 12. And other Stuff.

Not much to say tonight, delivered them and went on my way, wasn't almost caught. Or maybe I was? Who knows.

Anyways, it's been great doing this. I've had fun and I am glad that I could share it with you. Have a Merry Christmas.

Also, to any people who care about this sort of thing; My heart has been beamed up by aliens. They are performing the semi-annual defenses. Basically this means that when my heart is put back in, if you do have hopes at getting to it, means getting past a solid iron curtain, a brick wall that is several feet thick, with Adamantine plating behind it. No one is sure what is behind the adamantine plating though, only one person was able to get that far, and she only managed a glimpse beyond and didn't get further. She also exiled herself from the city to a secluded place that is rarely visited, except for the frequent skier, or so I am told, to the gift of pen to describe what unfathomable horrors she witnessed to produce the next best seller.
There is a deconstruction crew that hangs around. But thus far the only help they've given is pulling back the iron curtain somewhat. Although there is rumor that they are easily influenced by baked goods. But seeing how they are lazy, you'd have to catch them on a good day, which is quite rare, and they are prone to pulling tricks.

That and the deconstruction crew, and other maintenance crews have been called to work on a huge project together; the reconstruction of the metaphorical Humpty Dumpty. It seems that the eggshell of life has received one too many chips in it and it's gone and cracked wide open. So all units have been called to salvage what they can. It means also that the Aliens get to put in electric fences and landmines since no one will be paying attention to them. They haven't been able to achieve such feats yet as those defenses have been banned by common law.

So the point being, if your goal is to get past all that to the heart, you have to either be superwoman, or work harder than a fake sixteen-year-old Chinese Olympic gymnast to even have a chance at breaking through.

Although... there is word of a hidden, backdoor somewhere. But not one knows where that is. And that option is too horrible to even describe. Lets just say there are various construction workers who have gotten lost over the years who have been found mentally broken and driven completely insane, on all 10 dimensions of existence. No one knows what guards the door, but it is apparently to make a grown make fall down on cry, and shatter his self of personality on all the known dimensions of time and space. (and quite possibly the unknown too)

So a word the wise, find another heart worth capturing. One whose soul that hasn't been put in flasks and desecrated by four year old girls. It's for your own good.
By the way; I'd help but I locked myself out without a key or a spare a few years back. I'm not even sure if I can find the back door.


Anonymous said...

It's not my fault my heart decided to fall half-way freakin' in love with you

Green Giant said...

wow...interesting. i have a theory but i won't go there, but if my theory is correct then your being a lot more mean than i know you to be. yea anyway. i hope I'm wrong. very different way of putting this.

Green Giant said...

nope, 3 am does strange things to my head. i'm LOLING now.

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Anonymous, I never said it was your fault. I'm just letting you know the odds of reaching my heart.

Heck, there may not even be a heart there, and it all could be some elaborate hoax into fooling the world that I am a human and capable of experiencing emotions. You know, instead of some computer chip designed to make it look like I can experience emotions.
I kind of wish I knew. I think I'll place $5 on the outcome that I am actually some soul-less automaton.

Anonymous said...

Dude you sound like a jerk... you are lucky to have any girl show any interest in you because from your posts you sound way jerky and over zealous...

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

I sound like a jerk? More evidence that I am some soul-less automaton I guess...
Also, it would help you posted as a second anonymous person as someone else used anonymous to post as.

So person #2, I may sound jerky by saying that that the odds are slim of reaching my heart (which really isn't worth that much anyways), but I'm not saying that a girl has to work extra hard and has to appease me to gain my heart. Maybe you got that from the de-construction worker bit, but that was just a literary device, not literal. I don't actually expect baked goods.
What I am saying is that I am not looking for a relationship, that I am not ready to have a girlfriend or even consider dating anyone seriously, yet. There may be one or two girls who I think I like, but I haven't actively pursued anything really. Again, I need to get some priorities set in order, change how I view myself and the world, straighten out a few other things. Basically, at the time for me, girls are at second tier. Maybe I'll find someone special who'll knock down all those defenses with huge wrecking ball, or have enough courage and firm view of reality to try the back door.
The point of the matter is that there are some aspects of my personality that I need to change, and I need to make those changes so that way I can be the best guy/boyfriend/future husband that a girl could want. I'm not there yet and there is something major that I need to work on and change so I am that person.

So to set the record straight - baked goods and special treatment won't work to get to my heart.
Donations are welcome though. ;)

the real anonymous one said...

I'm well aware of the odds. Don't worry, I'm fully aware of my insanity.