Monday, December 29, 2008

What to do, what to do?

The moment goes, it passes. The stare, the furtive glance, not once but a few times, but why?

What did it happen? Do I know why? Was it because I was trying to be fair? It passed, it happened, so what? What changes? Has anything changed? How can a simple question be so haunting?

Was it lack of self control, was it because we both wanted to?

I mean, what do I mean? If all it was to me was nothing at all? Why do I feel so guilty? Is it cause I know I took a wedge to make a crack bigger? Were my intentions all good, or were they carnal as well? So much to think on, so much to consider.

My thoughts, reflecting on it all... reflecting on old tv shows were to them it meant nothing at all. Wondering if that is how I truly felt. Feeling a tad guilty. Wondering, wondering and not sure how to carry on.

Oh what to do.

The answer: Live in a monastery of course. It's the only acceptable thing to do. The monks will be glad though that there is not enough money for marriage though.

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