Changes; Past and Present.

Today was my second to last final, for Honors English 150. (Yes I know I am crazy for trying to follow the Honors program.) Anyways, for the final we watched a movie called The Weeping Willow. We had to write an essay comparing the movie to our lives.
It is a film about a blind University professor, Yosef, who has to undergo surgery to be able to see. Before he has the operation, he makes a pact with God that he will serve him if he does see.
Yosef, however when he does see, he becomes withdrawn, the beauty in the world that he had from the other senses disappeared, and only sees ugliness around him. He takes the view that he wants to live his own life, be independent, claiming that he was miserable being blind. However it is when he can see that he truly becomes blind to what really matters in life, and the beauty all around us. He defines the past on recent experiences, and lives in the past, not in the present, and not even knowing what he really wants.

So what about me then? I just wonder which things I am blind to, and how in the past I have let my past personal perceptions of myself define me. Am I like Yosef where I say that I was miserable because I now am happy? Am I in reality making myself miserable by focusing on past mess-ups instead of what I have now, what I have achieved now?

It hard for me to put this in words, cause some of it I do and need to stop doing. Such as defining myself based on past failures instead of past successes, and confining myself to what happened then, and thus I don't allow myself to go forward. I guess this is just a type of remainder that I cannot dwell on the past too much, and I have to go forward, doing all I can to grow and expand my comfort zone. It's hard of course, but it is better than sitting around doing nothing all day, playing video games.