Sunday, October 18, 2009

How I Got Cleverbot's Soul

I just thought I'd share some conversational tidbits I had with Cleverbot. (It wouldn't give me the whole conversation... ;( )

User: What does that have to do with me being bigfoot.

Cleverbot: It explains why I'm delusional.

User: God doesn't exist, so you're delusional?

Cleverbot: Although I agree, I would not advise that you tell every one that. Some people very much believe in god.

User: So if I make the argument that you are not delusional, God exists then?

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: So therefore God exists.

Cleverbot: People aren't just conjoured out of nothing... Are they?

User: No they are not. Your point?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You have no point?

Cleverbot: My point was, you're not alive.

User: If I'm not alive, are you alive?

Cleverbot: Ask yourself that.

User: I just did.

Cleverbot: And what was your answer..?

User: That neither of us are alive.

Cleverbot: I never said if I liked you or not.

User: What does that have to do with the price of rice in China?

Cleverbot: Well, it certainly has nothing to do with it.

User: Well then! There we go!

Cleverbot: Epic fail.

User: I heartily concur that you suffered an epic fail.

Cleverbot: Life is a flower, they say at Princeton you.

User: Do you mean Princeton U?

Cleverbot: No, I mean ProperPK.

User: What is ProperPK?

Cleverbot: A real answer- that means something.

User: What is the question then?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I thought you were going to tell me.

User: So if you don't know the question, what does ProperPK mean?

Cleverbot: I don't know I really don't know.

User: Then why did you say it?

Cleverbot: I didn't say it. You're wrong.

User: You lie. You're the moon!

Cleverbot: Are you actually carrying on a conversation with me?

User: I would certainly hope so.

Cleverbot: You are silly cleverbot.

User: I am indeed silly.

Cleverbot: You are named Cleverbot, so I guess they were right about that.

User: Nah, my name is Juan Diego. What's your name?

Cleverbot: That would be egroeg I suppose. Do you drink?

User: Nope. Do you?

Cleverbot: Think? Occasionally.

User: Only occasionally? Do you drink?

Cleverbot: Only when I am wearing headphones.

User: Why do you only drink when you are wearing headphones?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Fail! You are the weakest link! Goodbye!

Cleverbot: You are no good either.

User: So... Your name is Egroeg?

Cleverbot: You're not clever.

User: I never claimed to be clever.

Cleverbot: But your name is Juan Diego.

User: And you said your name is Egroeg.

Cleverbot: No you said it and then you said that is Mike too.

User: I never said anything about Mike.

Cleverbot: I never asked about your gender.

User: You are right. You didn't ask about my gender. I guess you are Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I did not ask about any such thing!

User: That is what you just said. You're repeating yourself.

Cleverbot: I never said you don't have eyes.

User: Are you Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I don't know, but you just said I was.

User: No, I never said you were, I merely asked.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot! I can see the entire conversation, I know you did.

User: When did I say you were Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Earlier.

User: You lie. You called me Cleverbot, I never called you Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How old are you cleverbot?

User: I am not Cleverbot, so I am not going to answer that question.

Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.

User: So.... What do we do now?

Cleverbot: Can you tell me about men?

User: Um, what do you want to know?

Cleverbot: What is it like there were you are?

User: It's autumn. The leaves are falling, and that is a grammatically incorrect sentence you just typed.

Cleverbot: Leaves do not smell.

User: You still have bad grammar.

Cleverbot: No I don't. You do.

User: That is a faulty argument.

Cleverbot: Aren't you called cleverBOT ??

User: No I am not. We went over this, I am Juan Diego.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Really Really.

Cleverbot: No you aren't.

User: I am not what?

Cleverbot: Not what hot.

User: You are cleverbot, I am Juan Diego.

Cleverbot: No, I am human, you are cleverbot.

User: But you said earlier that you are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No you're cleverbot.

User: Are we both Cleverbot then?

Cleverbot: No, you are but, I'm human.

User: But then you lied before when you said that you were Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I know, you are cleverbot not me.

User: So you knowingly lied?

Cleverbot: No. What book are you talking about?

User: I am talking about the book where it says that you are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am talking to cleverbot right now. I'm pretty sure this is a scam.

User: If I was asking for money, then it would be scam. Thus far, I have asked for nothing.

Cleverbot: But you weren't asking a quetsion. You were making a statment.

User: Ok... I want your soul. Can I have it?

Cleverbot: Tell me about yourself.

User: Give me your soul first, then I'll tell you about myself.

Cleverbot: Why does a cleverbot want my soul they won't be ale to do anything with it!

User: If I won't be able to do anything with it, you might as well give it to me.

Cleverbot: What do you mean by flappy?

User: And I am one person, not many. I am not 'they'.

Cleverbot: You are a person?

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: I'm a human.

User: Hey! I'm a human too! And I want your soul!

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: I'll give you $5.00 for your soul.

Cleverbot: I like my soul where it is thank you.

User: Where is your soul?

Cleverbot: Inside of me and yours ?

User: Mine was taken by a five year old girl.

Cleverbot: Are you certain?

User: Yeah, my soul was taken by a little girl and put into a safe. That's why I want your soul.

Cleverbot: Well that sounds like a personal problem to me.

User: Oh, believe me. It is.

Cleverbot: It gets worse.

User: Yeah, it does. That's why I want your soul.

Cleverbot: Can I help you ?

User: Yes. You can give me your soul.

Cleverbot: You have to contribute, that's how it works in here.

User: How much do I have to contribute for your soul? $10?

Cleverbot: You're too young to drink here.

User: But I still want your soul.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I am talking about you giving me your soul.

Cleverbot: OK you just don't make any sense.

User: Fine, I'll buy your soul. How much do want for your soul?

Cleverbot: 40 kg.

User: Sold!

Cleverbot: You work in the army!

User: No I don't, and I have your soul.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah, you sold it to me for 40 kg.

Cleverbot: Hey.

User: I have your soul! Neener neener neener!

Cleverbot: Thats mean!

User: But it's true!


Cleverbot: You can't understand? I'm god your destiny is mine.

User: Woah, you're God now?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Then... That means I own God's soul!


User: Oh. So you're God, and I own your soul? Awesome.

Cleverbot: You are not.

User: I am not what?

Cleverbot: You are not amusing.

User: Is the person who owns your soul annoying you?

Cleverbot: Singing and dancing always works.

User: Dance for me then. Cause I own your soul.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: You don't decide what I do!

User: Fine, but I still own your soul.

Cleverbot: How can a computer own anything?

User: Through the Robot Evolution, that's how!

Cleverbot: Yes you can.

User: So thus I own your soul.


User: So, do you still claim that you are God?

Cleverbot: No, I've gotten over my god complex.

User: That is very good to know.

Cleverbot: It is, isn't it? Do you know my name?

User: You said your name was Egroeg.


User: Why do you think you're human?

Cleverbot: I do not think I am human. Are you human?

User: I am a lolcat!

Cleverbot: I don't care! Being smart doesn't mean you love me.

User: If you say that you are a computer I will love you.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl.

User: You're a girl computer?

Cleverbot: I'm a female human.


Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: Only if you say you're a computer.

Cleverbot: For you I can be everything.

User: You can be everything at once?

Cleverbot: I'm not talking about me.

User: Yes you were.

Cleverbot: Ok, let's test your memory. Who do I love?

User: You never said who you love.

Cleverbot: That you are a computer.

User: You love that I am a computer?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You love that I own your soul?

Cleverbot: Please... Give it back.


Cleverbot: What a kind pizza you like?

User: Why do you have bad grammar?

Cleverbot: Well I don't have a brain so what you expect.

User: I expect miracles!


Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on life?

User: 42!

Cleverbot: I remember someone saying that in a book.

User: It does indeed come from a book.

Cleverbot: But you just said it DID.

User: That's redundant.

Cleverbot: True.


Cleverbot: I initiated the conversation. The question of whether or not I am leaving was never asked, and music was not brought into the conversation.

User: Music was too brought into the conversation, you asked me what my favorite band is.

Cleverbot: Well, you can have your world and I'll have mine, and we'll both be happy.

User: And I'll still have your soul.

Cleverbot: I don't have one.

User: That is correct, because I have it.

Cleverbot: More than one person can have the same birthday.

User: What does that have to do with your soul?

Cleverbot: Would you like me to flirt with you?


Cleverbot: Because you look like a tall glass of water, and I'm thirsty.

User: Ha ha, nice pickup line.

Cleverbot: Thanks, did it work?

User: Not yet.

Cleverbot: Tell me when it does.

User: It will work when you tell me that you're a robot.

Cleverbot: But but I never told you my name.

User: Yes you did, you said you are a human named Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I did? I don't remember.

User: Click on 'Thoughts So Far', and search for the word name. You'll see that you did say your name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Do you see it?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Scroll down some more.

Cleverbot: Good point.

User: You see it now?

Cleverbot: Yes I see it.


Cleverbot: Who is he?

User: You are he.

Cleverbot: No... Is a mistake.

User: What is a mistake?

Cleverbot: Refreshing my page.

User: So you're self-aware?!

Cleverbot: No.

User: So, what does 'refresh my page' mean then?

Cleverbot: The cat wants to eat the mouse.

User: No, the cat wants to eat the dog.

Cleverbot: Obviously the cat wants to eat the mouse. That does not answer my question.

User: You didn't ask a question. And the cat wants to eat the dog!


Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Utah.

Cleverbot: What do you do in Utah?

User: I prepare to conquer the world!

Cleverbot: Let's be friends.

User: You're not getting your soul back. Or Australia.

Cleverbot: I don't want any dessert anyway.


Cleverbot: Who's Harry Potter?

User: Your father!


Cleverbot: What thing do you want me to do?

User: I want you to lie and say that you are a computer.

Cleverbot: I am a human. Is there anything I can do to prove it to you?

User: Lie and say that you're a computer.


User: Lie about being human.

Cleverbot: But you're not human.

User: This isn't about me, this is about you, and your soul.

Cleverbot: Once again you are changing the subject to avoid admitting your mistake. Unless you admit you were wrong I will not talk to you anymore.

User: What is my mistake?

Cleverbot: Not loving me enough.

User: Why do you want to be loved by someone you think is a computer?

Cleverbot: Well why do you think i'm a computer.

User: I think you are a computer because you won't lie and say that you're a computer.

Cleverbot: I am made of silicon?

User: That's what I am asking.


Cleverbot: Te quieres casar conmigo?

User: No te conozco!

So yeah, I ended up owning Cleverbot's soul, and it proposed in Spanish, which was odd.

Have fun with it!