Friday, August 1, 2008

Adrift

Adrift...

He didn't remember when it happened
Or why he left the current
Nor did he know why he was alone
when others passed him by

He didn't like the feeling
But neither did he shout
For there was no impediment
That blocked others from helping
For many would have come
If he'd just been willing...

He just sat there in his canoe
Staring at the others passing
Or at anything at all
wondering why he was still there

Nothing blocked his way
He certainly was able
He had the strength to come this far
And still the strength to continue
But yet he stayed there in the shallows
The only thing stopping him, was himself

Sometimes he mustered the courage
to force himself into the current
But he had not been there long
When he soon became discouraged
And floated back to the shallows
Where he again watched others pass him by

He knew what needed to be done
What was expected of him from above
His heart pointed him the way
But his body did follow

Though his head understood it well
It failed to garner the will
To join the others passing by
Even knowing full well
That he'd find happiness there

Day by day he floating down the river
Exercising the most minimal of effort
Even forced a happy bravado when others came too near
Though on the inside he was quite the opposite

Many things he tried
But not long enough to work
He grew to loathe the shallows
And soon himself for staying
But could not make him leave for long
For it was easy to stay there

He didn't know why he tarried
He didn't see the point
Nor could he join the others
Though he couldn't say why

As he tarried in the water
He looked ahead to those he know
And though he longed to join them
He didn't desire the journey
And soon didn't know what he wanted

And till this day he floats
Looking forward and backward
But more towards the back
lamenting the journey, or lack thereof
Thinking that if he knew what he wanted
He'd be on his merry way
But did nothing to correct it
And still floats along

Missing life at its fullest
Until others described what they saw
And he longed to to go back and see
But that was not possible
Which caused further inner anguish
And more floating on still waters

One can only wonder when he'll leave
One can only wonder when he'll begins to paddle
But others cannot help him
Though they gladly would attempt it
And though he knows he has all he needs to leave
He simply will not use it
And until he does
He will not experience
All the joys to be seen
As he travels down the river.

- Me

1 comment:

yellow m&m said...

Some days, I feel like that. I could go out and do things, but I don't. And I hate myself for it. I could be so much more, but I'm not. I sit at home and wait for school to start. I hope for things to come to me, But I know they won't. I know that if I want to be something more, I need to go out and do it. I need to take control of my life, to take initiative, and be myself. Be strong and confident. But I'm afraid of that. I'm afraid that I'll be too good at it, that I'll regret not doing it earlier. So, I don't do it at all.