Sunday, November 29, 2009

Insulting the Utes.

Well, BYU beat the University of Utah on Saturday. Huzzah, Huzzzah! But then some quarterback by the name of Max Hall decided to rip the Utes a new one by saying,
"I don't like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, their fans. I hate everything," Hall said. "It felt really good to send those guys home."
"I think the whole university and their fans and the organization is classless," Hall said. "They threw beer on my family and stuff last year and did a whole bunch of nasty things. I don't respect them and they deserved to lose."
(Edit, Max Hall apologized later for his comments.)

I mean, come on? Honestly? Mr. Hall, you've been a good quarterback and all, but if you're going to fuel the flames of the rivalry, at least do it intelligently instead of being upset about a poor throwing game and citing something that happened a year ago as why you hate U of U.

That being said, I now present you some intelligent and witty ways to insult the Utes without sounding like a total moron:

1) Mention some mistakes the Utes did. Things like how their young quarterback fell apart after the first quarter. Call him a newb.
2) Brag about your sacks and interceptions. How much more embarrassing and frustrating are those moments for fans and the team? Expound on that.
3) Laugh and don't be serious about it.
4) Don't insult the campus in general, there are several good things about it, and in some aspects, they have better programs than BYU.
5) Comment on their long hair. What's with that anyways?
6) Joke about their penalties. Like the call about disconcerting the snap cap. Or better yet, play off the idiotic call from the game the week before "Deceiving the defense" and make jokes about deceiving the Utes and not being called out on it.
7) Admit you made mistakes, but then boast that the Utes couldn't capitalize on them.

That's at least seven things you could have taunted the Utes about, something that isn't idiotic drivel. And Mr. Hall, didn't you say that you and the others practiced overtime plays a lot, so you were prepared? There's around thirty of you, and none of you got together to think of witty insults and comebacks? That is where you fail Hall. For not coming prepared to dish on the Utes intelligently. You're smart, that's why you are at BYU. Use that noggin and get some good quips in for after the game.

Unless you used all your best material on the field where the fans couldn't hear. But that's just lame.

So BYU football team, I charge you to come up with some intelligent and witty material for next years game, instead of ignorant anger driven babble. Is that too hard to ask?

Addendum: And if you really want to call University of Utah fans and football players classless, do it with style. Call them mudblooded half-goat sons of
Uruk-hai or something. Throw in literary references, have fun with it. Use fancy words that will make most people go "huh?" at. That will be classic. Better than some angry tirade at least.


Melissa said...

This is gonna be random but did you go on your mish to Mexico?

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Mexico City, yes. Why do you ask?

Melissa said...

Mm.. something I read from your blog somewhere. Just curious really. My brother is on his mish in Mexico. And my cousin went to that same mission.

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Your cousin went to Mexico City? Which mission in Mexico City? Because there are four missions there.

Melissa said...

Mmm... sure dont remember that.

mlh said...

You've got to admit, though: throwing beer on the fam? Not okay. Even if they were not teetotalers, it would not be okay.

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

I never implied that throwing beer on people is OK. It's not. However, we don't know the specifics, if it was an accident a year ago perpetrated by Ute fans or football players or if it was on purpose. All we know is that Hall says it happened and he's angry about it.

So while throwing beer on people is not OK, neither is some angry tirade after winning the big rivalry game. That is what is not ok, ranting about the beer incident a year after the fact. It happened, most of the Utes football team and fans probably didn't know about it and there is no reason to let things stew for a year.

That's the point. That Hall gave some angry tirade about something that happened a year ago. If he wants to insult the Utes, go ahead, but insulting them in some pointless angry tirade does nothing but rebound onto him.