The following message brought to you by Low Self-Esteem Inc, where if you aren't happy, we make millions!
"Are you ever tired of keeping up with the day to day standards of talking with people? Of being happy, upbeat and keeping a smile on your face? Ever feel like bursting down crying like this guy here?
Well, at Low Self-Esteem inc., We don't care! Why don't we care? Because no one else does either. The difference between us and the rest of the world is that if you come in to us in all your emo glory like Emo-Peter Parker, we will pay you to take your low self-esteem off your hands.
You see, the trick is the special technology that we developed. There is green energy, well now there is emo-energy. Our special technology has enabled us to harness the power of low self-esteem to power cars, computers, air planes. Pretty soon everything will be powered by low self-esteem. Which, in the near future, will allow us to conquer the world!
So why hold on to all those feelings of pain, rejection, and of social stigma and swing on by one of our many locations, you'll be able to vent your frustrations, make some money on the side and further perpetuate your anguish by funding a cruel heartless corporation bent on sucking the humanity out of the world. It is win-win.
So remember our motto folks; that if you aren't happy, we make millions. So pass on by, where if you arrive early enough, you might just be enlisted to be a part of the new global empire that will be spawned."
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