Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Birthday Fever

I was meaning to post this earlier but I didn't have time. I'm pressing my time just by writing it now. But it's my attitude about birthdays. I don't have anything against them, I mean who does? (excepting people uncomfortable with their age maybe?) But at the same time I don't give them due respect.

Not to say that usually when a friend's birthday comes up I won't wish them a happy birthday and celebrate with them if they're doing something, but when it comes to my own birthday I tend to keep it on the down-low. For example, last year on facebook a month before I hid my birthday on facebook so that no one could see it. And then I went up to Kearns and hung out with some friends as if nothing else was happening. And then one of my friends afterward got mad at me for not telling them and said we would have gone out and done something different had they known.

This year I practically did the same. I didn't hide it on facebook this year though, but I still did make no plans either. Of course having a birthday on Sunday, moving out Friday evening and staying with a friend until I could move in helped facilitate that. But even so I didn't tell my roommates or anyone at my new ward that Sunday was my birthday. I just let it be a normal day and sat around and relaxed.

But then while just coming to my blog Sunday evening my roommate glanced over and saw the title And I'll Cry If I Want To and asked me about my birthday and when it was. So when I told him he was of course naturally disgruntled that I hadn't told him or anyone else. And another roommate, Benjamin, who is trying to bring us all together as roommates gave me a piece of cake after overhearing that.

So I don't know about my other roommates in the apartment, but I bet they find it pretty odd that I didn't inform them of my birthday.

But why did I do it though? If it was anyone else's birthday I would want to know, want to celebrate with them. But yet I hardly mentioned it. I just made it, until I realized I was being an idiot and contacted a few friends to get together this week, a normal day like every other day; not special.

So I was thinking about why and my slightly hypocritical view of birthdays and realized that one it probably stems from a bit of my lack of self-esteem; that it's not worth celebrating. That may be part of it. I think it also had to with my birthdays in the mission field. Apart from the packages I received the week or so before at Zone Conference I don't recall doing anything special, just going out and working. Though I think on my second birthday in the Mission I did celebrate a bit with some recent converts and had some cake. But that may have been more at the behest of my companion than anything else I think.

But back to the point. I considered my roommates point-of-view and figured that I'd probably think myself as selfish for keeping it all to myself. Luckily there's another birthday in a year so I have that long to change my attitude about it. And it's on a Monday too.

Of course I might just celebrate it a week early so everyone can be there before they all head home at the end of the semester. But we'll see.

And on a completely unrelated note, it is my parent's 26th anniversary. I need to call them.

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