Missionary Wednesday

Dear family and the rest of you all,

I apologize for making light of the things that I said, some of you sent e-mails expressing concern for some previous content in my last e-mails. I did not mean to do anything other then share my experiences. All I intended to do was share some fun stories but now I see that there is more to it then that. I cannot apologize enough for all the worry and grief that I have caused you all. As far as I was concerned I was only having a bit of fun. As far as that stuff about keeping my heart locked, it should be easy considering that it was locked for 20 years before my mission. I was a bit confused before about that, someone told me to open my heart before my mission, I now understand that they meant to open it in a different way then the way that I am supposed to keep it locked while out here. I have more thoughts on this and other subjects but I don't want to go in depth about them because I now know what happens when I do that and I should be moving on to actual events this week rather than continuing my endless apologies. I really meant it to be just filler and fun stories and I am sorry for making you feel otherwise. I wont do that again even if I have a week where i have absolutely nothing else to say.

It turns out that Elder H and Elder B are as dedicated to the work as they are to cleaning. Thursday we continued to do as Elder C and I had done for the last four months and nothing special really happened. Friday would be bad luck to some but for us it was good luck. We taught a baptist man with a family of ten kids and he wants us to come back so his whole family can hear our message. We got him to agree to a baptism date and they were so exited to get that far with him. I on the other hand am not. Elder C and I got baptism dates but those mean nothing if you don't keep regular contact with the people and if those people aren't keeping there commitments. I would be more thrilled if they did that. After that we followed up on old media referrals who have already had there items delivered on our way to one of those we met to teenagers named P and J. Like most others around here they thought we were either police or Jehovah's Witnesses. They asked what kind of pamphlets we were handing out, and we told them were were giving away free bibles and that we weren't Jehovah's Witnesses. Once they knew who we were thew were a bit more friendly towards us. We invited them to Saturday morning basketball and they were more then happy to come. Unfortunately because of there previous experiences with pushy and rude Jehovah's Witnesses, we didn't teach them much. Both Elder H and Elder B were to afraid that by teaching we would push them away and it would be better to just let them come to us. I've heard this sad story before and although these two boys may get baptized one day i regrettably wont be around this area long enough to see that happen.

Saturday was Valentines, but an ordinary day to a missionary with no significant other, no loving for my kind that's all I'll say about that. I did have fun story involving the sisters that doesn't have anything to do with valentines day. It has to do with a scripture chase but due to getting chewed out multiple times now and knowing what I know now I think I will take an alternate route and work on the problem I seem to have about keeping my big mouth shut. After basketball we dropped off P and J near where they live. I didn't like that because picking up and dropping off makes you a taxi service and without you, those who are dependent on you for rides disappear when you get transferred. Next we proceeded with missionary work. Later we attended a triple baptism. Unfortunately all the baptisms I have attended in this area have been in Pullman's area. I hope I don't turn out to be like Elder C and have all my areas fire up right after I leave and through no work of my own. My companions have already done far more work then I could have done and I really don't feel like any of the baptisme we get while I am still here will actually be because of anything that I have said or done. I will have been here 6 months after this transfer and I know that I will be leaving at the end of this transfer. I feel like all the hard work that I have done in this area will be for nothing. All the investigators Elder C and I had are either hopeless or have disappeared off the face of the planet, all our new investigators have been found through their efforts and not mine. I don't feel that I have really done anything at all. I really hope this changes soon and hopefully it will. I figured out why Elder C and I didn't accomplish much; he had much works but no faith and thus like the reverse our works were dead. On the other hand this companionship of three has loads of both and will make a large impact on this area. I just hope I can be a bigger part of it and be here to see the fruits of our labor.

Sunday previous to now has usually been a take it easy day, but not any more. We worked just as hard Sunday as every other day and got one more baptism date set. Again, I will be more thrilled when they keep their commitments. Monday and Tuesday were more of the same, but Tuesday we got a third baptism set with someone Elder C and I had actually contacted. Before we had gotten into their home and spoke with them but we were not able to teach. This time we got in and were able to teach. I have more hope for this one because she actually knew me and I taught more. If this baptism goal goes through, I will be so much more thrilled because I know I have actually accomplished something and I know it will actually be mine.

All caught up for this week; again I apologize for the trouble that I caused and wish you all well.

love Elder Fields.