Omg(osh)WTF(reak)BBQROFL!!!

I know it is old news for Utahns, and I probably heard about it around May and forgot, but let me just say that upon doing my civic duty to see what was on the Utah Ballot. So suffice to say that was my true reaction when I learned that Superdell of Totally Awesome Computers is running for Governor of Utah.

I like his commercials before, but in light of that and his, um vocality and history, I think he is just plain plumb tooting crazy.

But it was worth a laugh to see him running for Governor.

A Small Resolution

A small resolution to be invisible no more.
I figure I could write a poem and be indirect about all this, but I'd rather not to today.

But I may have stated this, I dunno. I don't think anyone from my ward really reads this, if they do, they haven't said anything. Anyways, usually, like nights like this, I feel invisible in the ward. It may have to do with having just received a calling a few weeks before that after being a year in the ward when my new roommates had received a calling before I did.
It may have to do with that that my roommates have already given a talk in Sacrament, but I haven't given a talk since I got off my mission a year and three months ago.
It may have to do with the fact that I am still struggling to get to know ward members and be their friend, while other new people are getting along great with those in the ward. Not that it is a bad thing, that is god that they are getting along.

But it has occasionally left me with a feeling of invisibility. I could blame them for not noticing me, and not being more outgoing.
I could also revert to how I viewed myself before as a social geek, super awkward and stew over that a lot.
But I'm not.
I've gone done that path of self-hate introspection, and I don't care to do it again. It's not a fun journey, let me tell you that. (And no, this isn't meant to make you pity me or anything. Unless pity can be converted to gold. Then I'll take all the pity you can give me.)
Nor can I blame them, it's not their fault if I haven't gone out of my way to say hi or to step out of my comfort zone.
I think I am just to lazy and expect all social things to fall at my feet instead of calling people up to hang out and the like.
Anyways, back to the point.
I am making a resolution to be more outgoing, to be less shy, to go out of my way to say hello, be friendly and to hang out more. This includes less texting and more calling. (I sent and received well over 1000 texts this past month...)

So I'd like to take a moment to thank you for allowing this break in randomness. If you're in my ward and read this, talk to me. For everyone else, feel free to comment, say hi. The blog feels all alone. It's too quiet, and not even Weird Al can heal the wounds caused by the failure to comment or mask the cries of lonliness. Blogs have feelings too you know. So stop being so cold hearted, and comment. If not for my sake, but for the blogs sake. You know, before the blog goes and attacks other blogs' code. We need to prevent another disaster.

So while you consider the the implications of a bloggicidal Blog, here is a message from our sponsors: Cheese! It comes from cows!

A Special Birthday

It has come to my attention that it is someone's birthday today. Someone who has made me smile throughout the years and always has me wanting to sing out loud. (and be arrested for cruel and unusual punishment)

Oh, whose birthday is it today? None other than 'Weird' Al Yankovich!

And to celebrate this day, I shall put up his song "White and Nerdy" I think I shall make it my theme song.

Hail to the King!

Who Really is Barack Obama?

I know, you are all probably sick and tired of being asked who really is Barack Obama, but the truth must be told. Now I know that McCain's campaign strategy is to paint Obama as untrustworthy, but you should notice that they only allude to what he could be, but they never say who, or what, Obama really is. Maybe it is because they are unable to reveal the truth about him? Maybe Obama is more than just untrustworthy than they claim? What if in fact Barack Obama is an alien? And no, I don't mean an illegal immigrant, but that he could be a true, blue extraterrestial.

Yes you may scoff, but under the pretense of humor at a political dinner, Obama admitted his extra-terrestrial origins, saying that he hails from another planet.
Now you would think that being born on an alien planet would disqualify the senator from the presidency, but apparently Obama, and his alien race, is above such things as a human constitution. Apparently he has an in with aliens, as he would support visits from another race, so long as they were registered in the Democratic Party. That sounds a wee bit suspicious if you ask me... In fact, they recently released a statement saying that they even want to know how his health care plan affects them, and has even gone so far to throw their support to him. Even Steven Colbert revealed Obama's true nature. (go about 4:15 in)

Now with all this, people still support him! In fact, due to the economic crisis, his numbers have swelled! Many pundits claim he looked calm and composed, that while the $900 Billion bailout bailout bill he was in contact with his leaders. Of course he was in contact with his leaders, of course he looked calm and composed, everything is going according to their insidious alien plan!

So America, look again! Don't let those fake human ears fool you! Elect McCain to the presidency. With luck, Governor Palin might fall into a vat of radioactive goo and gain super hockey mom powers. With McCain as president, we all know that no one, not even hostile alien forces, would dare challenge US supremacy, after all, we all know how everyone fears a riled upa hockey mother, especially one that sports a hunting rifle.

So America, do your patriotic duty! Vote for the unstoppable force of team Hockey Mom and Old Guy!

A Small Pet Peeve or Two.

Ok, I pay attention to politics and everything that goes on. Why? Because I like to be informed, and find that I am not informed enough. And then while forming my opinion I listen to other people's take on things and I draw from all that. I don't know why I just wrote that.

Anyways, today has been hectic. I am trying to understand low level programming, writing in assembly code. It's complicated stuff that I barely understand, so I won't get into it. The point is, I have a lab assignment that still needs to be turned in. I thought maybe before hand that I could have completed it by 6:00 pm or so, and I was wrong. At 7:00 I had a date planned, and yes while I could have planned better and called sooner, I called at 5:30 or so to postpone the date to either tomorrow or either next Wednesday or Thursday. None of those days worked for the girl, who I shall call Shelly, and so we agreed upon just a quick game of bowling. Which isn't really possible. So about 6:00 or so I walk to my car to go to my apartment and get ready, wondering why I couldn't have just said no and canceled completely and done my homework like I should have. Then I watched some of the game, where BYU was slaughtered. At least we scored...
So at 7:00 I drive to her house, it's a double date and we head to the Wilk to go bowling. It was fun, got my mind off the homework load at the very least. On the way back, the election is brought up, and it appears that I am the only one who leans toward Obama. That of course is no problem, I don't care who supports who, if they support the other candidate or not. But what does irk me is that the only reasons they stated for not wanting to vote for Obama was that supposedly Obama didn't wear a pin lapel because he didn't want to choose sides and for his wife's statement about not being proud of Americans until recently.
That is what gets me, if you are not going to vote for a guy, at least have some intelligent reason for it; instead of basing your opinion on some made up drivel spouted a year ago and his wife's pessimistic view of society. I am not entirely proud of our country, and that depends on how I view the country and if I feel hopeful or not. There are certainly more than enough things to not be proud of. But that is a different story.

The point is, that irks me. I decided when I got back to look it up, and read it for myself and found that snopes article explaining everything. All the news sites have Obama's real explanation.

So, I sent that snopes link to Shelly. I may ask her out again, depending on how she reacts to it, to make up for the poor date tonight. We'll see though. I guess that reveals something to me, I want to marry a girl who can make informed decisions and opinions. Not someone that will believe every little thing.

Good night!

A Glimpse From Out Under the Rock

I mentioned last week that I will be under the figurative rock, right? (Cause being under a real rock would just hurt.)

Anyways, to give you all some idea at what I am doing this week, let me give you an overview.
Monday: Start my CS 142 test, a programming test. I need to design, implement and test a Java program, and use this program with predetermined criteria, together with user input, to determine a score for up to four prospective contractors. I need to report the contractor with the highest score, his score, the maximum score that could be obtained and his percentage. Provide at the end a closing statement.
Bonus points go if I report the other builders too, descending in order of highest to least score, report the best contractor on each criterion and if I decide to make it a Gui, which gets me more points but takes more time. Without the Gui I may take four to six hours to do this. Add two to three more hours for the Graphical User Interface.
That is due tomorrow by 6 pm.
Tomorrow I have due a Personal Narrative that needs to be edited and extended. Not to mention a math assignment (which will be done quickly enough) and homework due by midnight for my other computer science class about low level programming procedures that I barely understand.
Wednesday another math assignment, as usual, is due. Thursday is a lab for the low level programming test which can take up to five hours since I barely have any idea what I am doing. It doesn't help that I have plans Thursday night to go bowling.
On Friday I have another Math assignment due, but also Friday is the last day to take the low level CS test which runs all week. Good news is that it us multiple choice, the bad news is that I still don't know what I am doing.
But also starting Friday and going until Tuesday is my Math 112 test. I am lucky enough not to have that to do concurrently with everything else.

So, if I do update, it is because I am tired of all the work and stressed out a tad. Or maybe I will be feeling lazy and procrastinative? I hope not.

After the test I may post a snippet of the code, just so you can see what I wrote. I'd do it now, but I don't want to take the chance of a TA seeing my blog and thinking I am helping others out or cheating. Not that he would know who I am though... But I would rather not take chances.

Hope you all have a less busy week than me!
Tra la la!

An Alternate "Who's on First"

I am sure you have all heard of "Who's on First" by Abbott and Costello right?
Well I was going through my email and found a short variation of it using computers. Here it is:
COSTELLO calls to buy a computer from Abbott.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers.
What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

---A few days later.---

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START."

Enjoy.

The True Value of Friendship

First off, some random things I would like to say;
1. To all those I complained to about the bailout bill, I am unfortunately right. The bailout bill didn't work and a lot of money was flushed down the tubes. I also think that the government investing in banks is also a bad idea.

2. Giant, I also have some words for you: "I'll get you my pretty, and your flying mount too!" Quit lallygagging and come down to Provo already. You know you want to. Do it. Do it now!

3. What is the best way to seduce a member of a certain death squad? Ask them to watch a murder with you of course. This rendezvous should prove extremely helpful in my plans to take over the world. Of course I still need to announce my candidacy for the 2024 presidential election, assuming there is still a nation to lead by then. Also, Yellow M&M will be the one who will determine how much of your paychecks, if any, you all will get. So I suggest bribing her now so she remembers you when I unite the world under my iron fist.

Now onto the main rant thing...
You see, I have this situation with some friends, or some people I thought were friends. Maybe it is not a big deal but I think about this every so often and I figure I might as well post how I feel. I am probably completely in the wrong and probably don't understand an ounce of this. But I just need to get this off my chest. Now you all know, I am prone to do and say stupid things; such as create a secondary account on some message board, attack myself and alienate others by denying it and other related incidents. That's just the biggest thing recently, for example. In another incident involving some friends named Julie, Amanda, Peter, Nadia and of course Forrest. (The same Forrest who i mentioned a couple weeks back that ranted about girls and such)
Anyways, Julie and I chat a lot and she introduced me to Peter and he is a cool guy. Now as many of you know, I am far too silly and say things off the top of my head, things I wouldn't normally say in real life because I am not that witty in real life nor generally that outgoing and thus keep my thoughts to myself.
Well unfortunately for me, and for Julie too probably, I was discussing a situation and I was going over any and every possibility that came to mind. I apparently came off as serious when thinking about those ideas and just annoyed Julie. Now I admit to my mistake; maybe I am just too friendly, too trusting, I don't know. Anyways, due to some other things I said, Julie was offended, but still kept talking to me, but before I believe the dust could settle, she accused me of maintaining the same attitude and now refuses to talk with me. It has been a while now and I miss talking with her. I'll live though, I suppose. Now Peter got involved, and before we chatted ok, but now even after apologizing and being forgiven, it seems we are worlds apart and that we can't even hold a conversation. So there is that.
Now we all have a common friend, Amanda. She's awesome and we got along great. I thought of her as one of my closer friends, but after that gaff incident, things were understandably a little tense between us, and it seems like I am the only one who has tried to maintain the friendship. Since we are close friends, I have supported her in her various activities and enjoyed hanging out with her, but apparently others are making things out to be greater than what the actually are, and she thinks I have feelings for her and thus is uncomfortable with the idea of being close friends.
This was all brought about by me asking if things were cool between as friends because it seemed odd to me that we were becoming distanced even more, especially after the gaff incident. To me it seems funny that she is uncomfortable with the prospect of me having feelings for her, even though I believe I have not been portraying that attitude of wanting to date her. Frankly I don't want to date anyone seriously at the moment and I thought she knew that. That and she only has that idea from other people have said, rumors. I even told her that I didn't like, didn't have feelings for her like that, but after the gaff incident, who knows if she believes me or not. So you can see why I am a bit frustrated. Additionally, even if I did have feelings for her, it's not like I was going to act on it. If I supposedly liked her before this came up and I did nothing about it, who says I would act on it later? That is the thing, I value our friendship too much, I value talking to her her and being called out on how I act to risk it all on a relationship that is fated to end in disaster and breakup.

And there is Nadia who has brushed all this off and we are still as good friends, if not better. Maybe there is a bias because I tell she likes me? I dunno. But she's been there for me and is a great friend. I don't see anything happening either, and that's just because I am not wanting to get into a serious relationship. At all (and other things too). But what mystifies me is that there seems to be a dual standard, that I can maintain my friendship with Nadia, even though she likes me, and not have things be weird between us, but yet between Amanda and me, she gets to feel all uncomfortable because of what others think I feel. It seems sort of one sided to me. Yes I know all people are different and maybe this is her protecting herself? I don't know. I wish I understood. A friend advised in this issue to just block her and ignore her for a bit, but that seems like a recipe to further deteriorate our friendship. It's a lose lose situation I suppose,But the point of the matter is that I haven't pressed, asked or done anything to even hint at going from friends to something more and she gets to feel all weird.
And last of all there is Forrest, he is one of the kookiest and most honest guys I know, (I still thinks he can be more blunt with instead of his veiled words, bah I say! bah!) and I have done and said stupid things and we're still good friends.

So where does this leave us? I wish I knew. Maybe more time is just required to mend all this, but it seems to get worse with time. I am just saddened that such friendship is being held off at arms length, especially my friendship with Amanda since it is only rumors that are influencing her decision to be more like acquaintances.
I am also not saying I am infallible in all this mess, but I just think if people don't want to be friends anymore, especially when I fear a verbal lambasting for posting on Julies blog, then they should say it. It may sound hypocritical of me to say this after all this, but isn't there some room for honesty here?
Anyways feel free to prove me wrong in all this though. A little input is always nice, whether through the comments or through chat.

So what am I going to do you ask? I think I'll get a hair cut.

Addendum: I may have to live under a rock next week, so if I don't surface next Saturday, send a search party.

Chicken Soup For the Soul? Try Irradiation for the Soul!

Warning: This post is found to be high in blasphemy. Any desire to pick up large rocks and hurl them at the author is ill advised; for it would probably hurt.

This is an actual conversation, based on actual stuff.
For context, we were discussing the end of the world, and the most logical thing to precede it; the 2008 presidential elections. So I ranted, Yellow M&M listened to my mad ravings. Good fun. We pick up the conversation here:
Yellow M&M: "I just have to remember not to lose hope..."

Now sensing that she was pained from my insane rantings, I decided to try and console her through that thing we call 'humor'.

Me: "Well, the bright side is, if Obama becomes president, we won't have new nuclear plants that might meltdown and irradiate our souls..."
M&M: "Wait, how can you irradiate the soul?"
Me: "Hmmn.. good question."
M&M: "Well I guess you can since the body and the spirit make up the soul."
Me: "By Golly, you're right! It'd be the next new thing too! Irradiated spirits!"
M&M: "..."
Me: "Think of it, everything is created spiritually too, right? So that means nuclear waste, or the concept of it at the very least, exists in spirit form. If it exists in spirit form, then our spirits are in as much danger as our bodies when it comes to being exposed to nuclear radiation."
M&M: Much laughter.
Me: "Do you know what this means? It means Satan wouldn't know what to do! He's been too busy trying to corrupt our spirits through conventional means such as sinning, that he may be blown away by this new concept! Why get someone to smoke when you can irradiate their spirits with spiritual radiation and their spirit suddenly has three or more arms?"

And then the conversation ended as I dropped her off at her house...

But think of it! Spiritual radiation! The possibilities are endless! Would the changes affect our bodies too? Would only our spirits be affected? Would our spirits be able to leave the body temporarily, maybe become a spiritual super hero? Would our spirits then be able to literally crush Satan's spiritual head? How would we repent from being irradiated? Does the atonement cure spiritual radiation?
Also, what would happen to Satan if he became exposed to this spiritual radiation? Would his spirit transform from the hateful spirit shell of a man to some horrid creature that is a reflection of the hatred and spite in his heart? Would that make a new category of villain since Satan is already the arch-nemesis of our souls? Would that be the sign of apocalypse? Maybe such irradiation would transform his spirit into a hollow shell of a real body filled with anger and malice.

So many questions... So much blasphemy.
In the meantime, watch all news channels for a guy trying to channel the spiritual core of spent uranium rods. With any luck, my spirit will have a third arm and wood leg named pete. Maybe a spiritual alter ego too that fights crime. That'd be awesome.

Just think on that will you...

Some Gentlemanly Advice

A gentleman understands that, for good or ill, as he walks dowb a a sidewalk while engaged in a conversation via his wireless headset passerby may understandably take him for a paranoid schizophrenic

This thought brought to you today by "How To Be A Gentleman" A Timely Guide To Timeless Manners.

Pickup Lines from a Missionary?!

This week has been particularly busy. I had a few tests at the beginning of the week and a lot of homework, not to mention a computer lab where I had to deal with low level programming. I think I am getting it...

Anwyas, Elder Fields is now in Chicago so we'll probably hear back from him on Monday now. He did send a final MTC letter though, with some interesting advice.
First off, just to give an idea of Elder Fields, is that he is funny, like stand up comedy, cool voices kind of funny. He's also, despite my attempts, gone on a date. He's just never been interested in going out and has always maintained his standard of not dating until he gets off the mission. It's not like he doesn't like girls, he just doesn't like any girl in specific. So unlike me where I like to go out, Elder Fields just hasn't cared. I tell you all this so you can know the depths to which I have fallen in receiving pick up line advice from him, from the MTC.

So he writes:

You know how in the MTC people are always taking pictures of each other. Well, my district was talking to some Sisters who had cameras. One of the Sisters asked if I wanted to be in a picture with them. I don’t know what possessed me to do this but when they asked me, I leaned myself around a pole and said in a really flirtatious way: “The question is, Sisters do you want to be in a picture of me.” I don’t know if it was the line, but later that week we passed by these same Sisters. They smiled and waved in a very flirty way directly at me. They greeted only me in the same flirty way.

So, *ahem* if I ever try that out, I only do it because it seemed to work for him. Especially since the sisters wanted to give him their mission addresses. I think that if I am not married by the time he gets back, that he will be married before me, since it seems that everything comes so naturally to him.

Anyways, I would like to end with one of the ending paragraphs of what Elder Fields wrote in his last letter;

I’ve grown so much looking back at these last 3 weeks. I expect to grow a lot more by the end of my mission. When I first entered the MTC, I honestly, did not think I could progress as far as I have. I am confident that I will continue to be able to. I never thought it possible that I could teach the gospel to anyone. Now I know I can. Tomorrow I leave for Chicago and find out what the mission is like beyond the MTC. I just hope I can handle anything that comes my way.

I hope you all have a great weekend, a great General Conference weekend. Cya all later!