Just A Little Random

Once upon a June eve, someone shared with me an image from a blog. A simple message really. Nothing convoluted. Just what was felt. Over a year later, I now feel the same. And in a fit of randomness since I hardly post, I share this image here:

Dear Rob Pattison

No matter where you run, or who you play, you can never escape the wrath of Lord Voldemorte:

Rocky - Made Famous By Ignorance

I may have said this before, but the Rocky films are some of my favorite films. The story of being given a chance, never backing down, always improving one's self. Honor.

But something that bugs me is why Apollo Creed chose to fight Rocky Balboa. As in the film, it is the bicentennial of the United States of America, and the fight is on July 4th. A good excuse for patriotism, that Apollo takes advantage of by dressing like Uncle Sam at the match.

But why did Apollo pick Rocky? In making his decision, he said, "Who discovered America? An Italian, right? What better way to celebrate its 200th birthday than to get it on with one of his descendants?".

And that is what bothers me. Cause while Columbus did discover America, he never came to the northern continent. Only Latin America/the Caribbean. Heck, the United States has Columbus day in October, to celebrate or memorialize the discovery of America. So why pick on an Italian? Why not pick someone with a British name?

Obviously, for sake of the story you couldn't have the British/English Stallion beating on Apollo Creed, not with it being independence day. But that is meta plot right there.

I just wonder why Apollo himself didn't realize the greater commercialism by picking someone that would be of greater symbolism for July, to react/pay respect to the Revolution.

That is what I don't get, why Apollo decided to pick an Italian just because one discovered America. The United States wasn't founded until nearly 300 years later.

So that is just an oddity in my mind, that Rocky was given his chance and made famous because Apollo Creed, to me, seems ignorant of history and marketing and picked an Italian over and Englishman.

Modern Indulgences of our Time

This is too hilarious not to share:



And an ironic thing? It doesn't ship to Utah. Now excuse me as I hope to not be struck down by sharing this.

Viva Mexico!

Viva Mexico, today is el Cinco de Mayo! Today is the day you gained your independence!

Wait, what's that? We're all silly Americans? You're independence day is September 16th? Today isn't even a real holiday? It's only a commemoration of a victory against the French in 1862? Yes, we are silly.

I am in a snarky mood. Dunno why, but I am going to take it out on the Holiday. Or the French, neither matter. You know it's true Frenchies, I mean we're just silly Americans celebrating an unimportant Mexican holiday, but let's look at the facts. You lost against Mexico. I think that outweighs our American silliness.

So, because we are all silly about this holiday, or maybe only Utahns take it to silly lengths, I think I shall rename this day.

No longer is it a day to do Mexican-like things, and eat their food (which is supremely delicious), but it is a day of commemoration of all French losses. Today is the day that we shall sally forth and make fun of France for all their losses, not like we wouldn't any other day mind you, just that today, it is official.

So who's with me?

Or am I just alone?

I bet I am alone, aren't I?

The Deets

As was stated yesterday, the Mormon Bachelor Pad may have been exposed. No one really knows the truth except Jake(or John) and Calvin(or Cameron). Luckily, I did some investigative journalism and found out what is really* happening.

So as it happens, I managed to catch Calvin on facebook chat. I was surprised, even moreso that he was using his time on facebook to speak with some guy rather than one of the many ladies he chats with. Anyways, in talking it appeared that he was stressed out and that something was on his mind. I initially thought it had to do with he and Jake being revealed, but it turns out that it is more than that. After some good time talking, Calvin revealed that they were in fact revealed, but none of the readers knew the full story. Yes, they are both 32 years old and everything they are exposed to be, but the accuser didn't detail what he did. Calvin, or Cameron revealed that the person who accused them was a fangirl of them who did some intense research to find them, but upon finding out that they were 32, became angry and started threatening both Cameron and John. Apparently not satisfied with trying to destroy their blog, the reader took it upon herself to track down Cameron's family and kidnapped one of his children. Not only that, but Cameron's wife stumbled upon Cameron and John reading MBP fanmail, and didn't like what some of the female fans wrote her husband.
So that has put a strain on their relationship. And so given that all this happened in a 36 hour period, it was a lot to handle. So Cameron said that with the blog affecting his family like this, he'll have to shut it down...

And that's when I woke up this morning.




*Really happening, as in, happening in my dreams. As in I dreampt that this happened exactly last night. I need a life. Or a CatScan.

In 'N Out

To any and all Californians who love In 'N Out, I mean no offense, but I think you all are crazy.

I decided to go today and grab a burger, see for myself how the food tasted. I never went before because whenever I passed by an In 'N Out and was hungry enough to consider grabbing a burger, there has been a 20+ car line. Honestly, I am not waiting that long for a burger.

As I was saying, I went, I bought the Double Double with fries and a coke and drove home to eat it. Honestly... it was not that spectacular. It tastes just as good as a burger from McDonald's or Wendys or some other burger joint. Same buns, same thin meat patties. Greasier though. Way greasier. The fries also are not that great either. They tasted a bit stale or something. I've had way better at other places.

So honestly, it is just a fast food joint that is kept alive by hype. Californians adore it and have spread the word and got it to be popular. Maybe it is good in California, or maybe Governor Schwarzenegger spiked the the state's water mains and they all lost their sense of taste, who knows. I just know that the hype makes the food their to be something it is not.

But honestly, I will not being going back anytime soon. I don't buy into the hype and don't see why everyone thinks it is so good. I also expect my Californian readers to form a mob to lynch me too.

So yeah. Another thing though; at least McDonald's has the McFlurry. Those taste good. So I guess McDonald's beats In-N-Out.

Now I really expect to be lynched. I must go hide.

World War One Angst

I've been reading about World War One today, and been commenting on Twitter some things I noticed and ranted about concerning that war. I'll post my comments for you here to read:

"I think the well-to-do were high off something in the early 1900's."

"The cause of WWI lowers my view of the human race."

"Gosh people are stupid. WWI breaks out and people cheer with parades and waving of their flags."

"France: Oh lets throw our brightly colored troops at Germany in half-hearted effort to cross it's border w/o knowing their war preparations"

"You know... if you're going to go to war, be more creative than throwing your army at the other one hoping the other side has less men."

"Britain acts smartly in WWI, they subvert the Ottoman Empire from within, starting an internal power struggle."

"And then complications arise, namely the Balfour Declaration."

"And here I thought French and German tactics were stupid. But then I find out that Russian Generals sent their troops unarmed into battle."

Ha! The February revolution started in March!

@luvlyssa "And the Feb Revolution started in March for the Gregorian calendar, but February in the old Russian calendar."

"Back to reading the biased textbook story of the Russian Revolution under the Bolsheviks."

"Why was the old Russian Calendar 13 days behind ours?"

"Treaty of Brest-Litosvsk signed March 3, 1918 creating independent republics such as Latvia; birthplace of Dr. Doom."

"Idea: We'll make a peace treaty with just Britain, USA and France, ignoring other countries like Italy who helped us in the war. Sound good?"

"You know, you think everybody would have had enough death after WWI, but no. You give Russian Revolutionaries weapons and 3 million more die"

So yeah. Basically the Austrian heir to the throne gets knocked off by a Serbian, Austrians are ticked and Germany thinking it has the best and biggest stick on the continent encourages Austria to declare war on Serbia. Russia, thinking they are Serbia's big brother, declares war on Austria and drags France with it since they are allied. Germany then declares war, thinking it can defeat France quick enough to move onto Russia and that Britain won't join in quickly. They're wrong. Millions die. America finally joins and Germany is defeated. They devise a treaty that is a failure for not punishing anyone or causing reconciliation. Festering wounds ensue. Everybody are idiots. British slightly redeemed cause they caused the political downfall of the Ottoman Empire. Causing to fall from within.
Then influenza kills millions, and Russian civil war causes famine and disease, helped along by France, Britain and the USA and millions more die. Such distasteful ways at ruling the world. They receive a D- for their inability to govern the world.

What a joyful period isn't it?

Much Ado About Something

And here I thought it would be ages and ages.

Well to keep it short, I'm no longer single. Calooh Callay! The lovely lady's name is 'Lyssa.

We've been having such a grand and glorious time together, even went to the place called Noodles on University Parkway.

So yeah, it is most excellent news indeed.

Just Say No.

For those parents or soon to be parents out there, there are a few things that are taught to children; like look both ways before crossing, Don't take candy from strangers, say no to drugs. The good safe stuff that we are told. But there is one that I think isn't stressed enough, actually it is hardly stressed at all in the early youth, which I think would do a lot of good. Just say no stalking. It does not achieve anything worthwhile, is creepy and the only career to come from it is an independent investigator, the kind that gets hired to see if a spouse is being unfaithful.

So that said, I think parents everywhere should instill in their kids to just say no to stalking. It'll make the world go easier.

And then teenage girls won't get hyped up about Edward the super stalker. The books will fade from a teenage romance novel to an ironic work and all will be right with the world.

Drama and Laughter

It was a shadowy day, gray, hardly any sun, just clouds hanging to make a dismal day even worse for three women that day. The three women were gathered in the cemetery, all draped in black, all in mourning for their beloved husbands. The pastor sensed their pain, sensed their shock at the loss of their loved ones and gave each one of them a single red rose; one that stood out and contrasted the day, one that seemed to stand out of the ordinary, a rose that brought just a little color into their day.

The three young widows began to speak and the pastor couldn't help but overhear their conversations. Each of the widows told of what drove their late husbands to the brink, what the signs were. The first widow who spoke up said she should have noticed the danger when her husband stuck a note to the pantry door with a fork saying he was tired of the same old roast-beef each day. The second saw a note on the wall with a cutting knife saying he was tired of ham, the third's note was stuck to the fridge by an oil change magnet expressing outrage about the chicken meat prepared for him daily.

After a brief silence the first mourning widow said she never should have fixed that last roast-beef sandwich, to which the second widow also replied with the same sentiments that she should have known better than to fix another ham sandwich, but the third didn't speak immediately. Expecting their fellow widow to be in the same situation they turned to her waiting. After a few seconds of silence the third said to them, "Don't look at me, my husband prepared his own lunch."

Flirtacious Missionary Thursday

Excerpts from the messages sent by Elder Fields this week sent by electronic carrier pigeon...

Salutations all,
This week was absolutely amazing. We got 10 baptism dates and one of our baptisms that we had set actually went through. We visited a bunch of different churches including the Presbyterians, we liked them and could see why Joseph Smith was leaning towards them. We had loads of people at sacrament meeting this week too. We also went to the north side and got tickets to a Bull;s game; I'm also sorry to say I got tricked into going on another date with the sisters...
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!
Actually all of the above is false. Nothing much happened at all this week but I figured that this could be fun. I Hope you all enjoyed my little prank. Honestly I wish some of the stuff above was true.
This week we switched up our focus from finding and teaching to getting members present at lessons and getting investigators to sacrament meetings. We are doing very well and have one investigator who is progressing far faster then the others and is well on her way to baptism. She just needs to come to church again and completely stop smoking and cut out the coffee. The smoking is pretty much done with and coffee is next to go.
Saturday we had a Walk With Christ Easter activity for investigators. This went well but unfortunately there were more members there then there were investigators. Sunday's weather didn't help at all in getting investigators to church. We had so many who said they would come to church, but the snow storm provided the perfect reason to not come. unfortunately even our elite investigators failed to show up. Monday and Tuesday were packed up completely full with lessons and we couldn't catch a break. That's the way we like it. We have been telling everyone that the prophet is speaking this weekend and they all seem interested and will hopefully come at least to general conference. This week was somewhat dull outside mission work and sorting out the elite investigators from those not truly interested, nothing else happened.

In other news; Sam, I've discovered that I am good with accidentally using pickup lines. I know that I should probably keep my mouth shut because I am a missionary and shouldn't be flirting at all. I honestly don't intend for what I say to become a line but somehow it's taken that way when it comes out.(Editors Note: I vouch for his sincerity in this statement) I should just shut my mouth and only open it to teach. but anyway here's the story on this line which I thought you might like to use.
We were having a district dinner and we were talking about how we are all members of the Lonely Hearts Club and were just going to be single forever. Then Elder K. told Sister B. something along the lines of everyone has someone, just like Adam and Eve. Sister B. then told him "I don't have an Adam" to which I replied by saying "well I don't have an Eve"
I didn't intend for it to come out as a pickup line, I was thinking more like it would be words of comfort; like we're both in the same boat so don't get to down. Honestly I need to watch what I say. I am becoming known out here for saying stupid things to other missionaries
Anyway I just thought I would share this line with someone who isn't a missionary and can actually use a line like that. So use it and tell me how it worked.

And in regards to what Sister C. shares with him and other missionaries he replied 'With all the things she teaches, I take it all with a grain of salt and when I forward the information she gives us I do it because I would like to get another person's view on these things; so thanks for telling me yours.'

Figs and Anti-Matter

You know, not many times does the Westboro Baptist Church get something right, but sometimes they do succeed in being ironically funny. As captured at Box Turtle Bulletin it appears that those over in Westboro got something ironically funny, because the only thing Jesus cursed was the barren fig tree. Sure that was symbolic for hypocrites, but it still fits. And thus their poster is funny.

I think I will join the figs in dooming the world. I hear it may be quite fun.

Dear Anonymous E-mailer,

Dear Anonymous E-mailer,

I received your message, or rather your proposition. Seeing as you used some totally bogus e-mail address to write to me, you leave me no other choice but to respond here. Maybe the only clue from the e-mail as to who you are is that you have a Verizon Wireless Blackberry (It appears to be from an automatic signature, but may not necessarily be so) but that doesn't matter, nor do I have any desire to start polling people to find out who has a blackberry with Verizon. It just won't do any good.

Now I can understand where you're coming from, I'm on the market, I'm available, so why not start dating the person you suggested? But that of course is only implied in what you said, your real argument is in the one and only sentence in the e-mail, that says: "She's totally got the hots for you." Yeah, I get what you're saying, there's a cute girl who I get along with alright, we're pretty good friends, and she has the hots for me apparently, so why shouldn't I go out with her?

I mean, it seems a valid enough reason to go out with a girl right? I mean, what rational guy wouldn't go for something like that? (For the record, I am anything but rational) But, no offense to the girl with whom you wish me to date, I digress and admit that most likely such a thing will not occur.

Now you, and probably the girl in question are most likely wondering why, why I won't go out with her. Well, I'll answer you in this!:

Nanti's Guide As to Why You, or Anyone Else, Should Not Date Him

1. Think of the Children. I'm not really responsible to take care of them, in fact they'd probably grow up to be punk anarchists bent on bringing civilization to it's knee's, regardless of how good their mother is. And with the girl in question, well the odds are highly likely that we'd raise our kids to be ruthless dictators bent on conquering the world.


2. I'm Crazy. No, really. Ask anyone. I am totally bonkers. That may be one reason why the girl in question has the supposed 'hots' for me, that she's attracted to strange creepers, such as I, but that's not really healthy for any kind of relationship really.


3. My Asthma. Yes I do have asthma. Heavy laughter actually triggers it. I'm likely to die in my early thirties because of asphyxiation due to a collapsed lung while laughing, and with the young lady in question, I'd probably die before I hit 27. And no one needs the grief of indirectly killing me. Unless of course you are after my vast fortune, which coincidentally doesn't exist. I guess I could be down with that.


4. On a somewhat logical note, I am taking independent study courses, and behind in the schedule I have set for myself. I don't really have to time to really dedicate to any type of relationship.


5. I have no job at the moment. This doesn't bode well for any relationship. So I have no shiny monies to which pamper the girl in question. Or even take her out. I guess she could pay, but she undoubtedly has plans for all that well-gotten gain. Who am I to let her spend it on me?


6. Summer plans. The girl in question has summer plans of one sort or another, so even a Mormon summer fling would be out. (Not that I would have one anyway.) I will still have my independent study courses and hopefully a job, so I'll be busy.


7. Monastic Vows. Due to recent events, I've decided to find a monastery that will permit me to go out on dates with the female variety, but not steadily date them. So once that order of monks is found, any relationship will surely interfere with my monastic duties.


8. Personal Issues. Things such as procrastinating, low self esteem and other such things make for a boring guy. I'd hate to bore anyone by being a stick in the mud


9. Destiny. I've checked, the stars are against any such union, with anyone. It is written in the stars for me to be a single bachelor for the foreseeable future. Going against the stars will surely bring about Ragnarok, the Apocalypse and every other end-of-the-world prediction; all working in union and harmony for maximum destruction. It would make most people unhappy if such were to occur.


10. Cause a little birdie told me not to. How much more of a reason do I need?


11. My alternate personality likes raw fish, is an introvert and likes jewelry, specifically gold rings forged in volcanoes. It wouldn't work, trust me.


12. I am a soulless abomination. Ok, maybe I'm not an abomination, yet. But I am soulless. It was placed in a flask and whisked away by a small four year old girl, who has taken it who knows where. This will surely create conflicts in the years to come.


13. Zombies. I'm not sure why zombies don't want me to date anyone, but they don't. It's best to not ask questions

So there you have it, at least twelve reasons why you shouldn't date me. If you need more, ask Chilly. She can probably think of a lot more reasons as to why not go out with me, so if you don't trust my word, I call her as a witness to my madness if needs be.
So in short, don't do it. You'll be a lot more happy and healthier without going out with me, and that's a fact. Even the surgeon general recommends avoiding such things with me, and would you want to go against the suggestions of a such a highly regarded health professional? I thought not.

Omg(osh)WTF(reak)BBQROFL!!!

I know it is old news for Utahns, and I probably heard about it around May and forgot, but let me just say that upon doing my civic duty to see what was on the Utah Ballot. So suffice to say that was my true reaction when I learned that Superdell of Totally Awesome Computers is running for Governor of Utah.

I like his commercials before, but in light of that and his, um vocality and history, I think he is just plain plumb tooting crazy.

But it was worth a laugh to see him running for Governor.

The most Heinous of Crimes.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I stand here today accused of the most heinous of crimes, the most awful of deeds; Of playing the emotions of these two innocent young ladies Kitty and Lydia. (points go to those who figure out where those names are from)

This sad sordid tale begins the week previous to this one; I had arranged a time with my sister Sally to drive down to Ephraim and pick her up for a family event in Tooele this weekend. During the course of this conversation, Sally mentioned that she has a large number of roommates due to the fact that she lives in a large house complex, and at the end of the call I mischievously mentioned that I would flirt with many of her roommates upon my arrival. A day or two later Sally called saying that Kitty coincidentally needed some help with her computer. I leaped at this opportunity to lay my snares and tried to help her, but when no further help could be given, we conversed "innocently" for a few minutes. Also mentioned by both Sally and Kitty is that another roommate, Lydia, desired to converse with me as well. I knew at that moment I had successfully laid the groundwork for the horrendous crime for which I am accused.

Two days passed, and before I left my apartment the morning of the second day, I called Sally to inform her to give my number to Kitty and Lydia so we could text each other, mistakenly assuming that they had decided to take me up on my statement to flirt with them, but using the idea of friendship and sincere conversation as a front for my unscrupulous plan. Sally was innocently beguiled and gave me Kitty's number and we continued the conversation from when last we conversed, via text message. Near the beginning of those texts, Kitty sent me Lydia's number, repeating that Lydia desired to converse with me. And here is when the heinous crime begins, my descent into madness if you will, as I began to text them both at the same time. I know, you can say it, it was quite horrible of me, so many rules of conduct violated, so many decencies trampled upon, it must be hard to keep an unbiased view of me and my actions, but for the sake of justice, it must be done.

So, members of the jury, as I conversed with the two of them at the same time, I continued my conversation with Kitty about dances, my top hat, stuff like that, while shamefully flirting with Lydia at the same time via text message. This egregious behavior continued for a few hours, until the pair at one point or another became aware of what had been transpiring. At that very moment they saw the truth for what it was, saw that I was unscrupulously playing with their heart strings and decided to rightfully and judiciously accuse me of that vile wrongdoing, that illicit activity of playing the part of a true born player. At that moment I saw that the gig was up, and like the slimy, worthless man that I am, I attempted to apologize for my wrong doing, unsure at how they could leap to such truthful assumptions at such amazing speed, attempting to get in their good graces once again. Thankfully these innocent, pure young ladies saw through my lies, Kitty in fact had such amazing foresight as to have seen my insidious plot for what it was from the very beginning and revealed to me that they in fact were playing me like the foolish scumbag I am, as righteous objection to the wrongdoing that I had executed.

At that point I scrambled, for they had exposed me, and I saw the lies and misdeeds surrounding me. Lydia seemed to sense my desperation, my introspection into my horrid soul and unhesitatingly apologized for being rude, justly laying blame on a bad relationship that she had barely escaped from and honestly hoped that we could at the very least continue as friends. I recognized that moment for what it was, an in, an opportunity to get close to her heart, and called her. Thankfully Lydia is such a good judge of character, that when I began to speak, she saw the deception that I was about to spin and rightfully accused me of being a player and promptly hung up, so she would not be deceived by my false promises of hope and friendship.

Days passed, and yet I afflicted myself at how to enact my bitter revenge, at how to get back at the two righteous young ladies who had scorned me. It soon came to me that I could enrage them by sending them an insulting comic strip. It worked like a charm, the jab at their high moral character not only succeeded, but it only brought an additional bonus sparking justifiable hatred towards me. During a conversation with Sally, that point was brought to bear that Kitty did hate me, but instead of ignoring it or responding with kindness or witty humor, I responded cruelly and heartlessly to Kitty that I loved her too. This, along with my prior misdeeds, spread to other roommates and one such roommate whose name I never learned(out of safety from the dangers of associating with one such as myself no doubt) brought up the unfaltering accusation of me being a liar and trying to hide the evidence of those vile misdeeds.

So you see ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am the villain in this story, I have perpetuated that vile misdeed and played this game, striking the fair damsels Kitty and Lydia to the center, degrading their pure and innocent character. This vile misdeed that has left a foul bitter aftertaste of righteous hatred towards me in their mouths, that comes with association with one such as I, one whose villainy and falsehoods runs long and wide, cannot be tolerated in the smallest instance. It cannot go unpunished lest I strike out again and text two other girls at the same time or escalate the crime to include a third or even a fourth victim.
So, I ask of you members of the jury, what verdict do you assign to me for the unspeakable crime of texting two young ladies that I barely know at the same time? What punishment would you sentence me that would steer me to righteous paths and reformation to become a productive member of society?

Members of the Jury, the time is now yours. What is your verdict?

The Twilight Dating Plan

As everyone is probably well aware, many females now want their own female Edward, and are disappointed because guys are not more like him. Instead of deciding to argue at how I perceive the books to be poorly written, I will instead embrace what others want in a man to be the best romantic that I can be. It will be a chance to improve myself.

So first off, We have our subject Edward. Analyzing him physically, we know that he is cold to the touch, extremely hard like concrete, Golden eyes when not hungry, black when hungry (or red if Edward happened to taste human blood). He is super strong, and super fast, and can read most minds, except Bella's (unless she removes her shield thing). He is also super rich. And how can I forget, his skin sparkles in the sunlight and is extremely pale.

So, how to imitate that? Well I suppose I can always bleach my skin super white to match the paleness (or get really really sick), or I can confine myself to living in darkness for a few months. I am not sure how to get my skin super cold, short of a cryogenic accident similar to what occurred to Mr. Freeze, although I can have ice at the ready to make them cold. I am also sure I could looks up ways to not have skin smooth, but unnaturally hard. Maybe cover my body with sandpaper? No problem there. As far as strength goes, going the gym will definitely help. But if movies have taught us anything, is what robotic implements are for, like Will Smith had in I Robot and get super strength that way, or like Bionic woman. I could get bitten by spider in a nuclear power plant too. Speed is also included in those calculations. I don't think I can soon learn to read minds, so I'll have to take a few courses in reading body language and see how that helps. But that also gives me the advantage so I can see how boring the girl I am taking out thinks of me really. As for the car, well, short of robbing a bank or inventing something, my fourteen year old car will have to do. It's certainly not as fast or sturdy, but, I'll work something out. As far as the eye color goes, I am sure contacts can help me there. As far as sparkling skin, maybe there is a soap that will give my skin a sheen, or maybe I can apply wax to it, so the sun reflects of me. I could also try tattooing or gluing glitter ink at various spots in my body to get that affect as well.
That should hopefully get the physical side of Edward down.

Now as far as the romantics goes, going off of memory here, I have to ignore any girl who is friendly to me, even to the extent of shaking in murderous rage to try not to kill her if she is sitting next to me. I will also skip town for a few days with the sole purpose of not wanting to do her bodily harm. I will allow my pale sheen and natural charisma charm other ladies but not be aware of it. I shall also glare at a distance and be on a constant watch for danger to save the fair lady from. I will then make continuous comments on how radiant she is and how she is far more prettier than any other girl, and that it is because she smells like the most tantalizing piece of steak ever made that I pay so much attention to her. Before dating her or really even getting to know her, I will watch her from her window while she sleeps, I will also follow her when she goes out with her friends because I know she is idiotic enough to go out by herself and get attacked.
I will make constant comments about how her life is in danger by being around me, that if I lose my temper or go out of control, I could very easily kill her. I will also ask about every single little fact about her life, as if it is an obsession, but not care that the girl only asks what it is like being different (or a vampire in Edward's case.)

So, I think that has covered everything. If there is something I have missed, let me know, because with this information, I will surely become the ultimate ladies man.

No it isn't a Straight Jacket

Well as my many of you know, I fence on Tuesday nights, and since last night was the second to last night of fencing until the semester starts, I decided to get a picture of myself, but with my forgotten camera, I only had the camera in my cell phone to work with. And apparently the other photo with the fencing mask disappeared mysteriously I only had this photo to work with. You can at least see the hilt of the Epee though!