Thoughts on Pottermore

For some who are not aware, J.K. Rowling partnered with Sony to create an interactive experience for Harry Potter fans. Having been on for 48 hours, hear are my thoughts:

Pros 

• New material; there are a ton of new images to look at including some of Rowling's personal comments and notes. For example, it is revealed on the site that Professor MacGonagal was once married.
• Mouse and Button Listeners; i.e. the individual pages of the site. As you go through you see scenes of some of the chapters. Bits of the scenery moves when you move the mouse over it. You can collect Chocolate frogs, books, other stuff for house points and what not. With the up and down buttons you can interact with a different layer of the same page. It's cool.
• Nice layout, with how everything is displayed.
• There is some complex formula at work that sorts you into a house, and gets you a wand.
• At the moment you can only practice casting spells, basically following a pattern with your mouse and clicking on integral parts of the spell.
• Potions. You can brew various potions and they have to be exact or they go wrong. You add in the wrong ingredient, your cauldron could explode and you lose house points. Or it just fizzles if you are too slow. The wand shooting lightning at the potion to let it brew... that's kind of odd.
• House Competition; in the Great Hall you can see how many points each house has. Currently Ravenclaw leads Slytherin 54,974 to 54,866.

 Cons

• Server space. This is the biggest flaw at the moment. There are currently 477,385 people registered for Pottermore and that is only with limited registration. The IT guys at Sony or whoever maintains the back end failed to anticipate the inordinate amount of traffic the site gets. The site often goes down for minutes or hours at a time because there are so many people trying to get on and have fun. Pottermore is going to need to drastically increase the number of their servers so the site doesn't crash all the time.
• Commenting. It's limited to 150 characters or so and thus makes it hard to see if someone responds to you. Especially if 1000 others comment at the same time. Additionally, though I don't know for sure, I believe Pottermore employs some sort of selection sort method that checks every word you comment against an existing dictionary. While the upside is that everyone has to use proper English and there will be no l33t speak shenanigans, if you want to use words in another language or even a word like "Nazgul" (which some images of the book 1 chess pieces do resemble), it gets flagged for moderation. With thousands of people all commenting; it is sure to eat up a lot of processes. Great for ensuring no little kid sees swearing I suppose. Which could be their aim.
• Limited friend capability. Currently with those you friend, you can only send them an item as a gift and, when the dueling feature is up, engage in duels with friends. There is no direct communication. No way to say hi or whatnot. Again, probably protecting minors, but not so great for those who want to talk to those that send friend requests. Unless you know them outside of Pottermore.
• Feedback. It asks how much you like the site. It doesn't ask for comments or about problems. It just has you select how much you like certain features, like how the site looks. 
• The House Cup and points. With near half a million users and climbing, house points are going to become exceedingly large. There is nowhere saying when the House Cup will be awarded. It might be a quarterly thing, it might not. Right now it is just an arbitrary competition based on who participates the most on the site by either picking up random goodies or making potions.
• Potions: This problem is related to the site crashing. The potions made require over an hour of brew time where you let the potion sit. With site crashes and bandwidth issues, it means that a lot of potions go bad and you have to start over. Also, aside from giving potions to friends, you cannot do anything with them.

Conclusion; while the site design and interacting with the site is cool, especially with the inside details of the Harry Potter universe, the servers set it back. Yes, it is still in beta, but the IT side of things should have anticipated the need to have more servers. The limited communication I don't approve of, but Rowling and Sony may be restricting this to protect minors. And from what it seems, the goal is more to roleplay and interact with the site than others, except in magic duels. But... right now it seems like an attempt to take from some online fan rpg elements and make it into a semi interactive site. But it is still under construction. Currently the house point competition could go on forever, the potions are useless except as a way to get points. Reading new stuff is cool. So the main criticism is of the design and IT side of things. And sooner or later ads will be introduced. How else is this going to be paid for?

My piece of advice to J.K. Rowling though? Run from Sony and make a deal with Blizzard. Sony is great for hardware stuff, radios and computers and game consoles and whatnot. Not good at software. They have been hacked multiple times the past year and if security is anything like theirs, it is easy to hack. Blizzard on the other hand has worked with things like Battlenet for over 11 years, plus World of Warcraft. They have 12 million users, and thus know a things or two about server management. Switch to them and let them host your site. Things will go much smoother traffic wise. Plus, they are more creative than Sony in regards to games and challenges. They'd be able to have everything running smoothly and then some.

Horcrux Selection

Earlier this week Kate blogged about what her horcruxes would be, assuming that she were a homicidal wizard bent on immortality.

And I thought I would do the same. But in order to best help you understand my choice of Horcrux selections, you need to understand that if I were a dark wizard bent on immortality, I wouldn't use blood or muggles as a rallying cry. I'd just be evil. And as a muggle and lover of technology, that would need to be part of my wizard self too, a dark wizard knowledgeable about muggle technology.

So, here is my choice selection:

1. A network server. Well, to further elaborate it would be a host of network servers that link to each other with a hard line, wirelessly, or satellite signal. Basically it'd be designed so that the horcrux magic of it isn't just in one location, but depending on the danger can transfer itself to different parts of the network. Plus the added bonus of corrupting google bots and people's computers. Given enough time, it may just infiltrate the whole internet.

2. A telescope\satellite. It doesn't matter which one, just one in Space. How many wizard are capable of going into Outer Space anyways? My point precisely. No wizard could destroy it. Plus, I'd have the added bonus of being able to spy on my enemies from space.

3. A Lord of the Rings book. Nothing more to be said, just a huge fan of it.

4. A top hat. And not just any top hat, but a vintage top hat from the 18th century. Because top hats are just awesome. And it'd be able to give the Sorting Hat a run for its money.

5. So there isn't an appropriate image for this, but as I like programming, I'd place my fifth horcux inside a programming language library. If I choose Java for example, I'd infiltrate Oracle and place my horcrux in the download location for the language libraries in the code itself. Yes, it sounds complicated, but I am a wizard, if Voldemort can learn to fly then surely I can enchant some muggle programming to hold a horcrux. Which changes bits of the programming library to suit its needs and help grant me control over the muggle world.

6. I am also interested in Fencing, so thus a rapier or some other fencing weapon would only be appropriate. Course, the weapon may turn on you if it doesn't like you, but that is a risk to try and use a fencing sword.

7. Last is something different. You know how there are magical portraits of wizards who hold the memories and personality of whom they were painted? I'd do the same. I get my magical portrait taken, but with multiple frames (like how Phineas Nigellus Black can go from his portrait in Hogwarts to the one in the Black family home). I'd kill the artist and imbue my portrait self with the horcrux. Not the actual frame or portrait itself, but the image of me. That can change locations.

So yeah. If you want to kill my evil wizard self off permanently, you have a lot of work in store for you. Not that I would stick to 7, that's more Voldemort's thing. I may choose to have more or may have less. But if I were to pick 7, these would be it.

Defending Gale

First off, if you haven't read the Hunger Games, do so.

Secondly, I don't agree with Gale or his actions at all. I am merely procrastinating homework and I don't have the books in front of me at the moment. But I have seen people bash on him and I think some understanding of Gale needs to be said and even somewhat defended.

But what do we know of Gale? First off, he is the standard teenager when it comes to girls. He's kissed many girls, maybe a few girlfriends. I am surprised that Katniss didn't know that he has kissed a lot of girls, but then again, they are always hunting together and could have been perceived as a couple by others and no one said anything to Katniss. And we know Gale knows how to hunt to help provide for his family. A few siblings and his mom. I forget how he learned, but it is not important.

But before Hunger Games, before the mine explosion, what did Gale expect out of life? He expected to get out of school and provided he was not selected to participate in the Hunger Games, and work in the mines until too old to do so. He probably resented that a little, but that is speculation. We don't know how he felt about the Capitol, if it was any different than anyone else in District 12, until after the mine accident.

It becomes obvious through evidenced throughout the books that Gale looked at the mine accident and blamed the Capitol for it. And obviously he never got over it. Katniss? She had to get over it. She had no time to develop a grudge against the Capitol, she was busy providing for her family. But unlike Katniss's mom, Gale's mom didn't go catatonic. She worked, she provided for her children with Gale's help. Gale didn't have the burden that Katniss did to provide and shelter her family.

And so as a teenage boy, someone who hasn't gotten over the role the Capitol plays, constantly expressed violent statements about them. Katniss says she should not have been surprised when Gale took hunting and adapted it to the Rebellion.

So we could say that he is a mercenary. Actually we could say that Gale is a freedom fighter. Desperately wanting freedom, desperately wanting to fight off the yoke of bondage placed upon them. And unlike Katniss, he didn't live alone, he wasn't independent of anyone like Katniss was. He isn't a solo act. Having expected to work in the Coal mines, he knew most likely how to work in teams. Cause teamwork is required to survive in a mine. Look to the trapped Chilean miners if you have any doubt of that. So Gale has had to depend on people, to know how to depend on people. Katniss didn't. She had to look to herself for strength to provide for her family.

And the team work shows. It shows in Catching Fire at the Lake when Gale learns that other districts are rebelling. He doesn't just want to go off and them and their families and try and find 13, he wants to help everyone. He wants everyone to have freedom if possible, not just him. It shows in rescuing all those he could from the firebombs on District 12.

So yes, Gale is unhesitating and cruel. Yes, he misses the point to be better than your enemy (such as with the bombs that kill Prim) But what guides that? Pursuit of freedom. Of a better life. Pursuit of happiness. There are many reasons not to like Gale, but there are also reasons to admire him, for his bravery to be on the front lines, to not give up, to rescuing those of District 12. Even to not lying to Katniss and saying he was sorry that the bombs killed Prim (cause he wasn't), and not going back to Katniss pretending to be something he was not. Not to mention his constancy of being there for Katniss, him having to mature by going into the mines.

So while talking down Gale, we should remember that he isn't a silly oaf that bundled things up with Katniss. He has his good spots and qualities and the roughness shouldn't distract from that.

Not a Mockingjay Spoiler

The first chapter of Mockingjay is up on Youtube, being read by the author Suzanne Collins.

Have you watched it yet? Good.

Now to make some adjustments from what I said here. It sounds as if I am right; Katniss does not want much to do with the rebellion, or is not working with them willingly. She is not sure of her loyalties.

Peeta. "He is thought to be dead. Most likely he is dead..." I don't think Peeta is dead though. I think it is a perfect opportunity to deal with the theme of the book; the capitol and mockingjays.

For example, The Hunger Games were all about the Hunger Games, obviously. But it was more than just the games. It was the why of the games. It was the loyal districts against the rebellious districts. It was of the manipulation of the Capitol and everything it had done for 74 years since the rebellion had been put down.

Catching Fire; the catching fire of the rebellion. The catching fire of discontent, of literally the plans of the capitol going up in smoke, like Katniss's dress and when the force field of the arena went down.

So what do we know of Mockingjays? That they are the unintended consequence of a capitol project; the jabberjays. The Jabberjays were not intended to have mated. They did. They represent frustration in the capitol's plans. So, what would the perfect Mockingjay be? Peeta. My bet is that the capitol will transform Peeta into a Mutt-like creature. Not a total mutt like what we read about in the Hunger Games, but at least an altered Peeta, stronger, faster, ruthless. But with his own intelligence to try and get Katniss vulnerable so the government can get her, humiliate her, and kill her.

Because it is not enough for the Capitol to kill Katniss, she'd simply be a martyr then. They need her alive, alive and responding to pressure to repudiate the rebellion and cause it to shatter.

So who will Katniss end up with? Before I said Katniss would most likely die. Now, with knowledge of the first chapter; it makes Gale more of a possibility. Because Gale is going to know how hurt Katniss will be and will try and make end roads to court Katniss.

As for the possibility of Peeta, it depends on how much humanity is left in him. I personally find him breaking of the shackles the Capitol places on him, causing them to collapse, and finding Katniss. She will be touched by his sacrificed and may decide to be with him.

But there are several factors that go into that, so we will have to see how things turn out.

Dear Rob Pattison

No matter where you run, or who you play, you can never escape the wrath of Lord Voldemorte:

Mockingjay Hopes

First off, I would like to say that I will be blogging more regularly again. The summer break was nice, not writing or the like, but I am now getting back to the groove of things, and will be blogging more frequently now.

Anywho, in April I blogged about The Hunger Games and Catching Fire and my analysis thereof.

And so with Mockingjay coming out I am slightly excited. Well more than slightly, cause it is a great book series. And with that, this is what I expect to deal with;

First off, Katniss. As the books have focused on Katniss, and as she is not the leader of the rebellion, the book will not focus much on the actual rebellion. Yes, being the figure head, being the symbol of hope she will be there. But she will most likely be wall paper. Giving inspiring speeches. Fluff. She will be morale support. Of course, that may be after Haymitch and Gale give her a strong talking to, since at the end of Catching Fire, Katniss had just been fighting everyone and being by herself because of the news that the Government had Peeta. And learning that her home is no more. She will have to cope.

Haymitch will most likely have to use Peeta, rescuing him, as a means to manipulate Katniss to help the rebellion along. I don't see Katniss as just working for the good of the rebellion just cause it is a good idea. She's not a freedom fighter. Yes, she fights for her life, and she fought for Peeta's life in Catching Fire, but she also went along with President Snow in trying to be a good girl, in going along with his plan. She is too naive, too self centered to just help out. She told Haymitch she wanted to spread rebellion and at the first sign of machine guns, her idea fell through. She will have to be manipulated.

Gale won't like it either, but when he learned of the rebellions going on, he refused to leave District 12 and decided to stay and fight. He will use the manipulation too. Which means he won't force Katniss to choose at the beginning of the book, cause he knows how important she is for the rebellion. He will want to fight, and he will want the rebellion to succeed. Thus he will have to put his emotions on hold until Peeta is rescued because of the injustices that the district and others have suffered.

As for the President Snow and the government, they will use Peeta too. Promising to release him or something similar if Katniss will give herself up. They will play that hard. Or they may not, since President Snow knows that she doesn't love him. But that is a slim chance. My bets are they using him as well to manipulate Katniss. They know how important she is too. They may also do horrific experiments on him as well.

Also, I want to hear of the capitol. In Catching Fire, we learn that the people are distraught about losing friends that they have made over the years. They love Katniss, and how much she appears to love Peeta. During the interviews before the games ideas were thrown in doubt about President Smith and the government. Whether this extended beyond the live audience or not is another matter, but for the first time in 75 years there is discontent in the Capitol. Not to mention lack of supplies from rebelling districts.

Basically I want to see President Snow and his side go down. Yes, they may be more powerful, depending on what is at District 13, but the rebellion includes Game Master Plutarch. There may be spies in the other districts, spreading gossip, discontentment. Getting the Capitol to revolt. But as said in the beginning, the main focus will be Katniss. She may decide she loves Peeta. Or Gale may think she loves Peeta more than him as she will be focused on rescuing him. I can see him sacrificing himself to save either Katniss or Peeta. I want Peeta resuced. However, this is where I am sure to get yelled at, but I want Katniss to die in the rescue. Or a mortal wound so she can say some last things to Peeta. Cause honestly, she hasn't had a coming to moment yet. In the Hunger Games she fought to keep herself and Peeta alive, knowing she could not do it alone. In Catching Fire, she wanted to keep Peeta alive because she owed him. But Peeta has been unconditional in his love, which is something Katniss doesn't deserve. Which has been repeated a few times in both books.

Yes, while it would be great for Katniss to fall deeply in love with Peeta, being married days after the downfall of the government, from a literary perspective I would rather see Katniss have a 'coming to' moment, a moment of growth. Where she does all she can to save Peeta and to die in his arms telling him she loves him. That is what I want to see, and more of what I expect of the end result. The government will fall, maybe not at the end of the book, but it will be on its last legs. Perhaps making it a public death to inspire the rebels, to dishearten the government, to get the rebellion support. Something tragic, and sad. That is honestly what I expect to happen at the end of Mockingjay.

That or I expect the Government to do something so horrible to Peeta that it makes Katniss go commando and ends up spearheading some attacks at their base of operations.

Not to mention, something to do with a Mockingjay theme. Whether it is mockinjays themselves or the establishment that the government has created to keep themselves in power failing... somehow I expect the government to win.

The Hunger Games/Catching Fire

In the past couple of days I have been in a couple of conversations about the two books The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, in two totally different contexts as well.

So, if you have not read the two books, I offer you fair warning that there may be spoilers. So tread carefully.

Apparently I over-analyzed the books, because I was texting Alexandria while I was reading Catching Fire. Which leads me to the first context to which the books were referred to as; when I was explaining to my roommate John what the Hunger Games were. As I started explaining, another roommate Craig and his fiance chimed in. Did we talk about the romance? No... We essentially compared the book to 1984 and Brave New World, talking about the totalitarian regimes in each book and how they placated the masses. So I probably should be shamed at that count, because I had not focused in on the romance, but at that time I had not finished The Hunger Games yet. So hopefully I am granted clemency on that aspect, of post American/Big Brother government. 1984 had their loving big brother minute, Brave New World used the assembly line as a cloning process and sex to control the masses, and Panem in The Hunger Games used the Roman/Crete model of gladiator battles to sate the masses, and keeping the people down with hunger, and keeping them isolated. I honestly could talk about the many aspects of this, especially in book two because it was easy to that at that time the President Snow (Assuming President Snow isn't a title and that there have been many who have been 'President Snow') and the government underestimated their own people in how they would react to the annual hunger games in Catching Fire. But I digress, that is only one part of why I like the books, and if I expound more, well, I fear I will be shanked.

Anyways, in the background of the story there are rebellions going on, districts revolting and all. But the main character Katniss is only vaguely aware of what is going on in other districts, and concerned with surviving. Due to a desperate act of survival, and a treacherous act in the eyes of the government, she now is pitted in a romance as a show of control by the government. Katniss will have to decide between her best friend, Gale, who she would have married eventually without the interference of the hunger games, and Peeta, a local baker who was pitted in the games as well, loves Katniss and has saved her life and helped her selflessly many times. His story of unrequited love, of supposed betrayal, of giving his heart 100% to a woman who he thought loved him the same, and still sticks around after finding it not to be so. Who is now held captive by the government.

While many would see that the capture of Peeta as something awful and undeserved, I see it as a way for Katniss to earn her place with Peeta if she so decides. As she is the face and inspiration for the rebellion, the capture of Peeta will not only propagate the insurgency and downfall of Panem Government as she seeks to rescue him, but she will have time to determine who she loves more and wishes to spend her life with; Peeta or Gale.

Which is why I view the capture of Peeta as a good thing, or a positive thing story wise. As much as their romance is central to the books, if Peeta had been rescued as well, then Katniss would not be able to see how the loss of Peeta affected her, she would not be able to determine her true feelings for either Peeta or Gale. And also, she would probably run off to escape both the rebellion and the government, causing a morale problem with the insurgency, so her desire to rescue Peeta will be the morale needed to further propel the movement forward.

So those are my thoughts on the books. Please don't shank me.

Black Holes

Have I ever mentioned how much reading is a black hole for me? Serious, if I get into a good book that I like, I won't put it down. I have to finish it, and I give it most of my time.

Such is the case of the Wheel of Time series. I started last Wednesday or so and got into them. Now I'm done with the 3rd book. They're awesome. Very well written, tremendous plot, great characters. Heck, I even dreamed last night I was reading it, but yet I knew I was dreaming. Knowing that I was dreaming about reading the book, I wanted to stop dreaming just in case it spoiled the book, because I didn't want to ruin the actual experience.

Yeah, I'm crazy. And weird. But somewhat free now. Until I succumb going to the library to get the next book.

For the Shame

I... I have a confession to make. Something that may make you shamed of me now.

I have joined a Twilight web site/thing. Yes. I know. You're all wondering how I could sink so low to do something that is reprehensible. But I have good motives, I swear! Kinda...

You see, I have a friend, Joe we'll call him, who has had way more than his share of female troubles and angst. If angst really qualifies to describe it. Anywhat, I was hanging out with him and other friends on Wednesday and he mentioned the site. Now he enjoys the books cause they're an easy read, but he says he joined up and participated in some "discussions" about Twilight and soon began befriending many females who noticed him on the site. With it being a Twilight site and all, there are of course bunches and bunches of females on it. Which means for my guy Joe, he soon was asked by many if he was straight and apparently is very popular with the ladies there.

He thought he would share some of the comments (Like people discussing if Edward could kill Darth Vader) and invited me to join the website. So in effort not to sow discord and see if Joe's claims are all cracked up like he says, I have had to pretend to support Twilight. Which means resisting urges to say my true thoughts and feelings.

So... thus I joined. But honestly, there have to be, and are, better ways to meet women. Maybe Joe likes the attention, but for me, just reading half the stuff and a few comments on my profile is driving me batty. Most people don't use grammar, at all! Not to mention all the other inane stuff posted. Heck, the intellectual people that I would get along with if I wasn't suppressing my opinions are those who speak out against Twilight.

Anyways, I had to say something cause I'm just going crazy.

So.. I guess this means let the shunning begin for the atrocities that I have committed?

Just Say No.

For those parents or soon to be parents out there, there are a few things that are taught to children; like look both ways before crossing, Don't take candy from strangers, say no to drugs. The good safe stuff that we are told. But there is one that I think isn't stressed enough, actually it is hardly stressed at all in the early youth, which I think would do a lot of good. Just say no stalking. It does not achieve anything worthwhile, is creepy and the only career to come from it is an independent investigator, the kind that gets hired to see if a spouse is being unfaithful.

So that said, I think parents everywhere should instill in their kids to just say no to stalking. It'll make the world go easier.

And then teenage girls won't get hyped up about Edward the super stalker. The books will fade from a teenage romance novel to an ironic work and all will be right with the world.

Today Would Score a Three if it Dove into a Pool

Nothing much was done today, well nothing productive. I succumbed to my roommates and read the online Midnight Sun book thing that was put on the web because it was linked.

Definitely interesting, but I say Edward is still a creepy stalker. Sure his thoughts are revealed, but it merely proves him more guilty in the arena of stalking. He was humanized a bit by playing matchmaker at the end. Bella is still annoying. His perspective does nothing to redeem her.

I do have to say that Midnight Sun should have been first to be published. All Bella can do is stare and swoon at Edward and be obsessed about finding out he's a vampire. That's what the movie improved on, it wasn't from her point of view.

Midnight Sun is able to take the mysterious Edward Culling from the Twilight series, the creepy stalker with super-human abilities from being foreign and un-understandable to being Peter Parker basically, and we're able to relate to that more.

I actually like what Meyers did, or was in the process of doing, that we got to see a new side of Edward. From his point of view in M.S. he basically goes from an unknown to just a regular ordinary guy in high school. Not being able to read her thoughts, falling in love, trying to protect his and his family's secret basically makes him out to be a Peter Parker who is just an ordinary guy but with super powers.

I could go on, but I won't. Most likely I am shaming Bob for having acknowledged all that. I think Meyers started out wrong, that Bella should not have been the main character. She's just a nobody-sue who doesn't change at all personality wise. It is Edward who goes through the changes, who develops. It was just extremely hard to see because the books were written in silly Bella's perspective.

Do I think that the Twilight series is a great series? No, but it's ok. Midnight Sun surely makes it more interesting, or raises the level of it from it just being a bunch of Sues wondering around.

So Meyers, if you read this for some inexplicable reason, I say you should finish the book. It will certainly make the series a lot more interesting. I still say you should have the Cullins and the Voltari fight. Maybe through in Bigfoot and the Loch-ness monster?


Of course, reflecting on why I see Edward in a somewhat higher light, I guess I understand why so many girls like Bella, cause they can relate to her and her awkward mindset. I guess so many girls can relate to Bella due to insecurity and all that. I guess that means I am glad that I can't read minds, if there are similarities in mind sets. Of course if I suddenly gain super-abilities, I guess I wouldn't mind?

But yeah. That's what I have to say on the subject.

So, let the shame begin?

You Should Know This Already.

Yeah, every so often I take a moment to comment about how people have found this blog by searches and what not, but c'mon, enough is enough.

Some person found my recently by googling "Who is Edward of twilight dating?". Shouldn't you this, I mean Edward is dating Bella of course.
Well actually, technically he is married to her with some little half undead growth hormone monstrosity. So I guess this does bring about new mystery, Who is Edward dating?
I mean now that Bella is undead and all, she no longer has that savory juicy steak smell. Sure he can spend all day in bed with her because they don't get tired or anything while Jacob plays baby games with his wife to be. He only has to wait a year or so before she become 'legal' right? But heaven forbid if a half-vampire can have children. The possibility of a half wolf-shapechanger, half, or fourth, vampire is just too grisly to imagine. But this isn't about Jacob's future with a half undead abomination where there are probably dozens of fanfics about their adventures and all, this is about who Edward is dating.

Sure the obvious thought, as I stated before, is that he would be taking his wife Bella out occasionally. But lets examine this thoroughly. Edward and his family clearly have more money than they know what do with, they never tire, Edward is no longer attracted to Bella the same way he was before because she isn't human, and as Bella has human ties for the next forty years or so, Edward has to do something while she is visiting the in-laws right?

Obviously the person who googled this saw something up in Forks, and thought that since the media reports on every minute of every celebrities lives, especially when being unfaithful; that the person clearly thinks that Edward is two-timing Bella.

Maybe that is why Edward never hooked up with that one vampire from Alaska, she wasn't human and thus not his type. We know he traveled around, and that he was in Italy for a few days preparing himself to walk out of the 'Vampire Closet' so to speak. (And now there will be dozens of fanfics about gay vampires and gay Eddie. Joy.) So maybe while he was in the shadows in Italy he met a young Italian female who had a nose for trouble and he ended up saving her life. We all know how this ends up, she falls in love with Edward because she smells like a superb Italian meatball, and this time he can read her mind so he knows if she'll reveal him. Although it does add up more if she is another extremely private person, so he can't read her mind. After-all, we know Edward is into that sort of thing, feeling human by having to guess like any other guy, so most likely that is the case.
Also Edward knows now with his experience with Bella to not turn her to be a vampire; not only would she lose the superb Italian meatball smell (which is far better than some girl from Arizona would smell I wager, no offense female Arizonians) but if the young Italian chick were a vampire, it would introduce all sorts of problems.

Of course as he is in Italy, and since the Voltari are there as well, the young Italian mistress might make a good peace offering since those dudes collect gifted vampires and act like the Mob.

This does also add insight to why Edward feels like he is going to hell, it's not because he's a vampire, but he's clearly been helping the Voltari on the side, a free-agent of sorts. Only with Bella he could resist and decided to keep her to himself, which is why the Voltari were angry in the first place, because Edward should have handed her over, but didn't.

So there you have it my good Google searcher, Edward clearly is double timing Bella with some privately minded Italian flirt, preparing her for the Voltari. After which he'll move onto his next target.

So to all the ladies in the world, here's hoping he can read your mind, if not, you're next. Well after me. I know too much and he has to eliminate me now.


Of course you could have been asking who Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward, is dating. My answer, I don't know nor do I care. You can surely Google it to find out. That's what you did to find this blog you say? Right. Well he's obviously following Edward's footsteps and recruiting naive, talented, young females for some underground organization.

Tears, Laughter and Dissapointment.

First off, I am a geek, just so you all know. By that I mean that I am a fan of Lord of the Rings. I know some people here don't appreciate such things, *cough*Bob*cough*, but I feel this should be said, if only to point out my geekiness. I point your attention to the Ents in Lord of the Rings. You know, the walking, talking tree's that went to war? Yeah, them. Well there is a scene where Treebeard tells Merry and Pippen that the Ents have lost the Ent Wives, and told them to look out for them since the Ent Wives would have like the Shire. (Where the Hobbits were from) Until now, I have never thought about what happened to them, and always thought that they would would have been re-united after the mess with the war. It turns out that I was wrong.

I was reading and doing a little research, and even asked the 100 Hour Board, and found out the fate of the the Entwives. From the letters of Tolkien himself, he said:

"I think that in fact the Entwives had disappeared for good, being destroyed with their gardens in the War of the Last Alliance (Second Age 3429-3441) when Sauron pursued a scorched earth policy and burned their land against the advance of the Allies down the Anduin (vol. II p. 79 refers to it). They survived only in the ’agriculture’ transmitted to Men (and Hobbits). Some, of course, may have fled east, or even have become enslaved: tyrants even in such tales must have an economic and agricultural background to their soldiers and metal-workers. If any survived so, they would indeed be far estranged from the Ents, and any rapprochement would be difficult – unless experience of industrialized and militarized agriculture had made them a little more anarchic. I hope so. I don’t know." (Letter #144, Letters of Tolkien)

and,

"As for the Entwives: I do not know...But I think in Vol. II pp. 80-81 it is plain that there would be for Ents no re-union in ’history’ — but Ents and their wives being rational creatures would find some ’earthly paradise’ until the end of this world: beyond which the wisdom neither of Elves nor Ents could see. Though maybe they shared the hope of Aragorn that they were ’not bound for ever to the circles of the world and beyond them is more than memory.’...." (Letter #338, Letters of Tolkien)

So when I read that, that the Entwives were dead, I just started tearing up, because of what happened because I was hoping that they would have found each other. so there is my geekiness for you.

Also, Saturday night I saw Twilight with my roommates and some other friends. I must tell you, it was definitely interesting. One of my roommates who hasn't read the books wants to read them now.
Now I don't like the books, but I think the movie was actually better than the book. I won't go into any extreme details, but suffice to say that not having Bella narrate the whole time or even hear how Edward looks like a sculpture and is the epitome of handsome is a credit to the movie. Second, since it is not from her point of view, the world is more complete, and balances everything out. There is obviously the cheesiness of Bella falling in love with Edward with only knowing that he is a vampire, but hey, at least the movie shows them conversing and getting to know each other which isn't present in the books.
There is also some of the one liners and other humor that gets laughs going. Trust me on this, it probably saves the movie.

So, I was definitely laughing more, and I did like the movie, in fact James was much more believable. I think had Meyers written twilight like the movie presented it, it would have been much better. As for the rest, well there is only so much that a movie can do to improve upon a crappy book. But I suggest seeing it. It's not the best movie around obviously, but for the books it's based off, it did a pretty good job.

And may I say that I am extremely disappointed in the BYU-UofU game Saturday as well. I didn't have that much hope that BYU would win, but I didn't think things would go so badly for the team. I would have preferred that the BYU football team give their all and do their best and lose, then throwing the ball in the waiting arms of a Ute and other stupid turnovers. I must tell you that I don't pity Max Hall though, not a bit. I also shaved my mustache because of the terrible loss, that and it feels weird after dancing.

Anyways, that's it for now. I may be coming down with a sore throat, but lets hope that passes before Thanksgiving. Now I have to get back to homework, 'lest I fail.

Cya all!

Some Gentlemanly Advice

A gentleman understands that, for good or ill, as he walks dowb a a sidewalk while engaged in a conversation via his wireless headset passerby may understandably take him for a paranoid schizophrenic

This thought brought to you today by "How To Be A Gentleman" A Timely Guide To Timeless Manners.

The Twilight Dating Plan

As everyone is probably well aware, many females now want their own female Edward, and are disappointed because guys are not more like him. Instead of deciding to argue at how I perceive the books to be poorly written, I will instead embrace what others want in a man to be the best romantic that I can be. It will be a chance to improve myself.

So first off, We have our subject Edward. Analyzing him physically, we know that he is cold to the touch, extremely hard like concrete, Golden eyes when not hungry, black when hungry (or red if Edward happened to taste human blood). He is super strong, and super fast, and can read most minds, except Bella's (unless she removes her shield thing). He is also super rich. And how can I forget, his skin sparkles in the sunlight and is extremely pale.

So, how to imitate that? Well I suppose I can always bleach my skin super white to match the paleness (or get really really sick), or I can confine myself to living in darkness for a few months. I am not sure how to get my skin super cold, short of a cryogenic accident similar to what occurred to Mr. Freeze, although I can have ice at the ready to make them cold. I am also sure I could looks up ways to not have skin smooth, but unnaturally hard. Maybe cover my body with sandpaper? No problem there. As far as strength goes, going the gym will definitely help. But if movies have taught us anything, is what robotic implements are for, like Will Smith had in I Robot and get super strength that way, or like Bionic woman. I could get bitten by spider in a nuclear power plant too. Speed is also included in those calculations. I don't think I can soon learn to read minds, so I'll have to take a few courses in reading body language and see how that helps. But that also gives me the advantage so I can see how boring the girl I am taking out thinks of me really. As for the car, well, short of robbing a bank or inventing something, my fourteen year old car will have to do. It's certainly not as fast or sturdy, but, I'll work something out. As far as the eye color goes, I am sure contacts can help me there. As far as sparkling skin, maybe there is a soap that will give my skin a sheen, or maybe I can apply wax to it, so the sun reflects of me. I could also try tattooing or gluing glitter ink at various spots in my body to get that affect as well.
That should hopefully get the physical side of Edward down.

Now as far as the romantics goes, going off of memory here, I have to ignore any girl who is friendly to me, even to the extent of shaking in murderous rage to try not to kill her if she is sitting next to me. I will also skip town for a few days with the sole purpose of not wanting to do her bodily harm. I will allow my pale sheen and natural charisma charm other ladies but not be aware of it. I shall also glare at a distance and be on a constant watch for danger to save the fair lady from. I will then make continuous comments on how radiant she is and how she is far more prettier than any other girl, and that it is because she smells like the most tantalizing piece of steak ever made that I pay so much attention to her. Before dating her or really even getting to know her, I will watch her from her window while she sleeps, I will also follow her when she goes out with her friends because I know she is idiotic enough to go out by herself and get attacked.
I will make constant comments about how her life is in danger by being around me, that if I lose my temper or go out of control, I could very easily kill her. I will also ask about every single little fact about her life, as if it is an obsession, but not care that the girl only asks what it is like being different (or a vampire in Edward's case.)

So, I think that has covered everything. If there is something I have missed, let me know, because with this information, I will surely become the ultimate ladies man.

And now a message from our sponsors?

Today's blog post is sponsored by Wally, Wally, and Wally Exaggeration Services.

Through the studies of our agents in the W3E Services, it has been confirmed that the female gender of the human species are in fact evil. Studies conclude that association with the female gender may inflict, and are not included to; nervousness, stuttering, decrease in self esteem, anxiety, shyness, awkwardness and male pattern baldness.
The lead researcher and CEO of W3E services has produced a supporting critical hypothesis of those studies and concludes that many, if not all, specimens of the female gender only desire the most handsome of the male gender and treat all other males with disdain or completely ignore them. Such treatment which in some males instill a loathing to associating with the aforementioned females, claims CEO Wally the Third.

Outside sources also cite the recent fanaticism with Twilight as evidence to the hypothesis as many young female specimens wish that they too could be with one of the characters of the book, who is super fast, super strong, and appears to be a sun deprived supermodel that glitters in the sun light, or another character who appears older than he actually is, won't age, is tall, ripped muscles and can shapeshift into a wolf and where the protagonist is frequently ogling the previously mentioned character. Researchers at W3E Services however have not commented as to whether or not they will use Twilight as evidence to further their hypothesis.

It is also rumored that much of the research conducted by W3E Services is taken from the Academic Journals of the Calvin and Hobbes Corporation, changing the findings from girls are icky to girls are evil. Neither company has issued comments in light of those accusations, but stocks have declined significantly for W3E Services even thought they have said they have no plans for forming an all mens organization to exclude females.

As to whether or not this has any bearing on the day to day lives of the average American citizen, is yet to be seen.

The opinions expressed herein or statements made in the above column do not necessarily reflect the views of Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM and he accepts no responsibility for failure to recognize the humor, how little there may be, of the above post. Sam retains the right to think that girls are not icky, to hang out or go out with them, however little he may actually use it.

You think I would have gone home on another weekend...

As I may have mentioned, I went home for the weekend. Friday night my mom, brother and me went to the Jordan River Temple, if I can get those pictures soon, I will post them. My brother is excited to go to the MTC in a month or so, so that's good and he is seriously doing some preparing. 50 minute a day scripture reading and what not, so yeah, beware Chicago.

On the flip side, I picked an unfortunate weekend to come home because Breaking Dawn came out and my sister is one of those fanatics who insist that Bells and Eddie (I see no need to call them by their full names) are in love because, well they are, goshdangit!
So we frequently have discussions about it, about them all being Mary Sues and all.
As for my part, I don't care that the books are out there, or that my sister likes to read them. I have read books just for fun that didn't have any message, but just read to read, like the Boxcar Children or Animorphs (years and years ago). But what I get is level of fanaticism that the series is receiving, both from the foaming at the mouth fans (sorry if you are one) and all the reviews it receives from New York Times and what not. I mean, it's not very well written, the characters don't develop nor is there much of a plot. I am not going to rant about it, there are other blogs that do so and are funny.
Lets just leave it at that I don't think that the Twilight Series is as good a series that everyone claims it is. From what I have heard about Breaking Dawn is that Eddie nor Jacob fight each other or dies (except more strange stuff that I won't go into) nor do they get into a tussle with the Voltari. I have heard that it comes pretty close, but not close enough. Sadness.

Of course the book only confirms that Bells wants Eddie for his body and nothing else. Ending Twilight Rant.

So, Also some Hobby Game store opened up Saturday and had a mini competition that my friend Brian told me about. It's about 5600 west, 2739 south or so, it is a little difficult to find, but it is near Bajio or some Mexican Restaurant. Anyways, they had a small Settlers of Katan game, to six points, which I won, and later a Ticket to Ride game which I didn't do so well in. But those participating were entered into a drawing to win a gift certificate for their store, which I found out Saturday night that I won, and will probably pick it up Friday or so.

Also a radio station person, KBull I think, was there and were giving out tickets to an Emerson Drive/Charlie Jenkins concert thing in South Jordan Wednesday night.

So I believe that is all for now. Tune in next time I suppose.

Dr. Carlisle

I just had a thought. Considering that Vamprirism is spread by venom from the teeth, and that Dr. Carlisle is a doctor, one would think that Dr. Carlisle would be able to test the venom, like many do with a snake's venom, and try and create a cure or antidote.

So why hasn't anyone thought of this, that way Edward can become mortal, and as soon as he does so, he'll see that Bella only wanted him for the good looking vampire that he was and not for his domineering chauvinistic personality.

That one book, Twilight....

Yeah. I finally read it. After the hype my sister made about it and seeing all Edward rocks discussions or how he is superior to Mr. Darcy in every which way, I finally read it.
Now, before I offend all you Twilight fans, I do have to say that it was an interesting read. I am not sure if I'll ever read it again, but it was interesting. A good tween romance novel. That's all it is.

I mean, come one. The hunter wasn't even all that evil or malevolent. I though I read somewhere that the best villain was one the reader loved to hate. All he did was catch Bella's irresistible smell, and decide to be civil about about hunting her. He's a vampire that kills people regularly to eat, since when should he care if he attacks the father, her friends, her mom? Instead, he uses a small phrase from a video to lure to a dance studio, sparing Bella the pains of losing her mom. Or maybe he is bad at math and doesn't realize that two humans to eat is better than one.

As for me, I am confused at how Bella is in love with him. I know why Edward is, that is obvious. The book makes that clear, due to Bella's smell, he has to exercise self control, and for whatever supernatural reason, he can't read Bella's mind. That gets him interested. Bella shows interest in him, and as he gets to know her, actually know her, he falls in love with her, which is understandable for a 90 year old guy. But Bella? She could have had any guy she wanted really, but because it seems every guy thinks she's hot and she now has all this attention from males, she ends up crushing on the one guy who avoids her. I guess it is the Lois Lane complex, falling in love with the uber-strong guy who saved her life. But going back to the point, as far as the reader knows, she is observant, and for some reason can help looking at the chiseled greek god who somehow saves her life. So she pokes and prods, and gets through some of the mysteriousness that is Edward, and with the help of big clue from the Werewolf indian reservation, finds out that Mr. C here is a vampire. Kudos for not freaking out, I suppose. So what does Mr. Edward have going for him? He is eternally young, is exercising self control to not freak out and eat her, super strong, super fast, can read other people's minds, and has had 90 years to develop such talents at playing the piano superbly. He also is completely unaware of any other girls who stare at his irresistible face. So we have an alternative, 90 year old eternally vampire, with all the maturity to go with it, and some 17 year old girl who wins his attentions. He gets to play 20 questions (or maybe 100) and asks all about her, getting to know her. She uses all her questions to find out about his vampire condition and that he likes to eat cougars over bears. I dunno. It seems like a crush to me. What girl wouldn't crush on a guy that saves her life, has extra-ordinary powers, is perfect at everything, is the ultimate hottie and just so happens to be dedicated to her and her safety?

That and the only character that develops and grows is Edward, with the self control he exhibits throughout the book. I do think that he is to chauvinistic and commanding.

So, needless to say, I was a bit disappointed when I read the book.

Oh, and to solve all debates about Darcy and Edward, this is all I have to say, that if you gave Darcy supernatural vampiric powers too, Edward would be so blown out of the water, it wouldn't even be funny. If Bella did meet the vampire Mr. Darcy (assuming that Darcy eats animals as well) then Edward would lose Bella so fast it would be impossible to get it back.

I can only hope that Hollywood doesn't stick too closely to the book with the film coming out in December (yes, I know, my sister told me) because they might actually improve it. Otherwise I probably won't see it until it hits the dollar theater, Or I grab it for free off the internet, either or.

so let me know if I am to be expecting a mob of unruly females at my doorstep anytime soon please.

Bookish Tag.

So I was checking out a friends blog and she tagged me in book tag. Basically you grab the nearest book near you that is over 123 pages long... wait, let me copy and paste the rules down, it will be much simpler.
If you've been tagged:
1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.
5. Tag 5 people.

So, the nearest book near me is Tale of Two cities. Counting the sentences was a little tricky because Mr. Dickens throws in a bunch of commas.
Anyways the sentence is:"You are in a bad way, you know; you really are in a bad way." -- apparently some guy named Sydney is in financial trouble, and maybe he and others are plotting to get Ms. Manette married? I haven't read this far unfortunately.

Well since Yellow M&M tagged and Bob, It looks like I shall have to tag dear old Alan, although I haven't seen him online much, must be those blasted buses up north keeping him busy.
Well, since I know of no else who reads, I encourage Wally the Platypus and Sir Lurpy String Bean to join in. Oh! Ghostlilly you can participate too. Hmmn, And spa book writer, you're enlisted. It might actually help if any of you had a blog in the first place though...