The Deets

As was stated yesterday, the Mormon Bachelor Pad may have been exposed. No one really knows the truth except Jake(or John) and Calvin(or Cameron). Luckily, I did some investigative journalism and found out what is really* happening.

So as it happens, I managed to catch Calvin on facebook chat. I was surprised, even moreso that he was using his time on facebook to speak with some guy rather than one of the many ladies he chats with. Anyways, in talking it appeared that he was stressed out and that something was on his mind. I initially thought it had to do with he and Jake being revealed, but it turns out that it is more than that. After some good time talking, Calvin revealed that they were in fact revealed, but none of the readers knew the full story. Yes, they are both 32 years old and everything they are exposed to be, but the accuser didn't detail what he did. Calvin, or Cameron revealed that the person who accused them was a fangirl of them who did some intense research to find them, but upon finding out that they were 32, became angry and started threatening both Cameron and John. Apparently not satisfied with trying to destroy their blog, the reader took it upon herself to track down Cameron's family and kidnapped one of his children. Not only that, but Cameron's wife stumbled upon Cameron and John reading MBP fanmail, and didn't like what some of the female fans wrote her husband.
So that has put a strain on their relationship. And so given that all this happened in a 36 hour period, it was a lot to handle. So Cameron said that with the blog affecting his family like this, he'll have to shut it down...

And that's when I woke up this morning.




*Really happening, as in, happening in my dreams. As in I dreampt that this happened exactly last night. I need a life. Or a CatScan.

Weird Dreams

There was some type of press conference going on. It must have been in Utah, or rather in Povo because I saw many people in my ward there. Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton, Steve Jobs and some other politician. There was some talk going on about the Ipad or the the Ipod and connecting it to National Security and Foreign policy. Do not ask me how, but that was what was being discussed. Friends were joking around, not really listening, but I was listening and thinking of some question to raise about the Ipad, but I could not think of an intelligent reason for some reason.

The press conference ended, and my friends are gone. I leave to my car and drive to where I grew up in Kearns, and I see Hilary Clinton yet. I decide to ask her something, I asked her about Iran and Israel. I asked Clinton that if Israel attacks Iran's nuclear facilities and Iran declares war on Israel, if we would go to war with Israel. Hilary Clinton said yes. I replied that was dumb.

And then the dream ended.

Metal Claws

It was late at night and I was on my own, alone in a deserted corridor looking... looking for something. I didn't know where it was, just that I'd know it when I saw it. As I walked I rounded a corner and came upon a receptionist's desk where two middle aged women were still at the desk. I continued walking casually, occasionally sniffing the air as if anticipating something. Acting as if I had business in the building I asked if their supervisor was there, to which they responded that he wasn't. I thanked them for the information and continued walking as if to go to the elevator. Just before I reached the elevator I noticed out the of the corner of my eye a dimly lit room just down the next corridor and ran to it. As I entered I saw that the room was full of files, accounting books, and backup computers. This was the correct room, but I still didn't know what it was that I was supposed to destroy. I could take my time and look, or I could destroy everything. That was the simpler solution, and I had in fact the perfect tools for destruction; a pair of metal claws that extended rapidly from the back of my hand. Smiling, I quickly went to work, I started shredding books, gutting computers, snapping sticks of memory, RAM, in half and just making a glorious mess. The secretaries upon hearing the ruckus that was being made and came running in to investigate. Upon seeing me enraged and destroying everything one of them picked up a metallic object, a piece of scrap metal, to try and use as a club to get me to stop. Not that it threatened me or anything, I just quickly sliced it in half, much to the dismay of the secretary. I continued for a moment to slash the few remaining things that were still undamaged, when a large security guard entered the room as well. Before he could make a move, and thinking that everything was sufficiently destroyed, I leaped through a window in the corridor and took off running...

Yeah, I had a weird dream that I was Wolverine, destroying some type of information.

That a dream about a friend's blog, who posted her policy on kissing; that she would only kiss a guy if they'd gone out on more than five dates and there was strong marriage potential with the guy; aside from any kissing that would be done in drama or theater classes.

Again, all very odd.

Mi Estamago

I shouldn't have eaten that pizza last night. Trust me, using black magic to clone yourself and altering your clone's appearance while having composite intelligence to go out with friends and others because your chance is blown isn't a dream ones to have.

Now if I had used my dark magic clone to conquer the world, that would be better. But to get girls? Not a wise decision.

Except now I wonder what a group date with a few a me with a few girls would be like. Things certainly would never be dull.

That's it. Maybe I will use cloning to get girls. And rule the world. Anyone up to be my queen, or a queen of a clone?

All this from eating pizza last night. Well, of course the pizza can't be entirely blamed...

Tickets begone!

Ok, the tickets have been claimed.

In the meantime, I suffer from all the pizza I ate last night. It caused me to dream that I was the Home Alone kid and tried to fake out the baddies by pretending that I was from some gang and that the baddies were muscling in on the gang's territory. Very weird.

I also have to search for USB port drivers to see if that will get a 5+ year old computer's usb port to work. Maybe I'll just buy a USB pci card for $20, it might be easier. I just wish I knew the model of the computer to know for sure.

Creepy Crawlers

I am not the best of roommates. It's not that I don't get along with them, it's just that I frequently talk in my sleep and say crazy things in English and Spanish. With my current roommate, this has not been a problem. He is here from Hawaii over the summer to save up some money for school, and frankly "Ted" sleeps like a log. He also happens to get up around two or so in the morning to go to work usually.
Now frankly, there are times that I wake up, and I either remember vaguely, or not at all. Sometimes, like on my mission, I remember about being slightly woken up by a lot of cats, saying something that there was a great cat war, and asleep again. I only remembered because my mission companion told me about it.
And then there are nights, like last night, where I sort of woke up because my roommate was stirring about, and then going to sleep again. When I went to leave to work today, I discovered Ted on the couch asleep. I assumed two things, one he had missed work, and two, he was probably on the couch because I was speaking in my sleep.
Being concerned that he was way late for work, I woke him up slightly, and asked him about work. It turns out he wasn't scheduled today, but was on call in case. But he also said that I woke him up twice because I was speaking Spanish in my sleep and also that I was typing at my computer too.

So I have pushed the bar in terms of sleeping disorders, there are many people who sleep walk, but I have pushed the limits and now type in my sleep.

So please please don't hold anything against me if I post something in the early morning hours. Thank you.

Other weird dreams

I was walking down the street. It was sunny. Typical for Utah. I knew there was a point and time I had to meet up with them to discuss the latest mission, but I had to be casual about it, no mess ups, no one could afford to know who I was working for, who I was meeting. I thought I was safe, I thought I had been careful. I was wrong.

I don't know how they knew, nor how they found me, but turning the suburban corner speeding towards me was a red convertible with three lovely ladies seated inside. As they spoke to me, I knew my cover was blown.
"Hey Nanti! How are you doing" Shouted one of the blond headed girls. The other two giggled at her side as they pulled up beside me.
"Umm.. Fine I guess, how -" but the driver interrupted, asking "Where are they, we know they're here and that you're going to meet them."
I knew I couldn't tell them, not when I was houses away from the safe house. If I told, the consequences would be dire, chaos would ensue, a riot would form as soon as their whereabouts would become public. They had after all worked long and hard maintaining secrecy, hiding their identities and only a select few citizen who the agent picked out himself from the endless applications decided who would get to see his face. There could be no telling what would happen if their identities were made known, so I did the one thing any guy would do when questioned by a hostile female; lie.
"They're just 6 houses to the right of the next street." I tried to say in a hopefully still surprised tone.
The three girls smiled at each other, "This is too easy, like taking candy from a Baby", said the girl in shotgun. With a rev of the engine they sped off, giggling.
I knew I didn't have moments to spare, thankfully the actual house was just two yards away. Running quickly up to the door I knocked twice and the door opened.
"Welcome Agent SARRMM, you're a tad late." Said a man in a blue Sunday shirt, tan pants, glasses and short dark hair.
"Yes Agent Claudio, I ran into some trouble."
"I hope you weren't followed, either way, Agent Foreman will be down in a minute, he had some business to attend to." Barely were those words out of his mouth when three loud knocks came from the front door. Agent Claudio through me a sideways saying "Not followed eh?" while I just sat down, leaning foreward with my face buried in my hands, waiting for the right moment to plug my ears.
The door was not open for more than a second before the three same young ladies burst in, screaming like giddy little girls at a Hannah Montana Concert, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" All talking about how cute Agent Foreman was. Agent Claudio let out a sigh while he looked at his watch.
The next few minutes were uncomfortable, Agent Claudio looked bored, fielding a question every now and then from the incredibly hyper girls who mostly were talking to themselves about like how great the weather was, you know, and like how incredibly lucky they were to finally meet the incredible Foreman, in that obnoxious Preppy high school valley "like hello" accent.
Another minute passed by before Agent Foreman entered the room, causing more squealing and shouting. "You certainly took you're time" Claudio mentioned to Foreman. "I heard we had unexpected guests, and I guess they are after these." Foreman responded, waving some papers in the air that each of the three females watched in wonderlust, following every movement of them.
Turning to the females, Foreman handed each of them one of the sheets of paper and a pen. "Okay Ladies, you probably have heard about these applications before judging by the looks on your faces, so fill them out and hand them back." Turning back towards us he saw the incredulous look on my face and said, "This will only take a few minutes Agent SARRMM, then we can brief you."
The next few minutes passed uneventfully while Foreman chatted with the ladies while they filled out the applications that Foreman had given them, receiving a question or two from Claudio as well, and just generally being charmed over by that famous Agent Foreman charm and wit until at last they had completed the applications and handed them back over to Foreman.
"Thank you ladies, I'll review these and get back with you shortly." He said, winking at them as he took their applications and showed them the door.
As soon as the door was closed, Agent Foreman turned back to me saying "Sorry for the wait Agent SARRMM, this seems to happen every so often. So lets brief you on your mission..."


That is all of the dream that I remember, or maybe it ended there, I don't recall. But memory of the dream came about while talking to Chilly. But I hope you enjoyed the second view into my dreams.

I really need to get out more often though.

Strange Dreams

I have mentioned some of my dream weirdness to a couple of you, but last night, well it was just crazy, and further proof the my subconscience hates me and that I need to get out more often.

Here I was on a computer, either at home or at work and I started IMing Dragon Lady saying I changed her last name on the program that my team administers, to which she gives me some reference in a policy book saying that any changes must be requested and wanted me to change her name from Mrs. Yellow Dragon Lady to just Dragon Lady. The the odd thing happens and I start IMing Yellow as well. From what I recall, he was questioning why I changed the Dragon Lady's last name and seemed to think I was trying to flirt with her, or something of that nature. After a few minutes I managed to convince him that I was a man of honor and wouldn't dare flirt with a guys wife. (unless we happen to be innocently mocking him in combined effort, poor poor Sethicus.)
So we start talking about code, Dragon Lady keeps IMing me to find out I found her in the program, and then all of a sudden Yellow challenges me to a duel, exclaiming that I am lower than the dust of the earth and summoning the elements to eradicate my very existence. I mean it was super weird, he even said that even the mighty rivalry between bismark and Hobbes would be small in comparison.

And then I woke up.

My sub conscience doesn't think I'm funny.

Well where to begin? So much to do and so little to say... or just resisting the urge to speak like Willy Wonka.

Well, my sub-conscience was berating in the night in the form of imagined comments from some girls in my ward who decided to agree with SWKT and say that I am not really all that funny. I think maybe it has to do with being put on a pillar of hilarity in the eyes of Giovanni, or maybe the desire for honesty in that I am not all that funny seeing that Comedy Central nor the Laugh out Loud or the other BYU comedy place has recruited me. So I guess this is an attempt at humility, honesty, low self esteem (or all of the above?) to say that I am honored if I have made any of you chuckle.

Tooele still fails. It shall always fail. At least until some unlucky soul decides to dive into the granite vault and see if he can find any reason as to why Tooele was named Tooele. No one knows. That and it is still boring. Thus Tooele fails, except to a slightly lesser degree to which I will discuss later on.