From the Old 'Juvie' Records

At Family Home Evening tonight, we played the game 'Hot Seat', where we were interviewed for two minutes about random stuff, with the ability to pass if it was too personal. One of the questions asked tonight of a fellow FHE brother was if he ever went went to detention or got in trouble in school, which brought to mind a story of my own, one of mischievousness, innocence, or the pretense thereof and possible damage to school property.

It was the middle of the afternoon in his eighth grade year, and it was one of those afternoons. You know the kind I'm talking about. Most of the work had been done, people were talking, things were laid back. Free time essentially. The young boy was with some of his buddies, just talking when one of them took out a larger than normal paperclip. They discussed what they could do with it, and being the adventurous and reckless middle school boys (Well technically not middle-schoolers as it was a Junior High) they saw the perfect use for the paperclip: Bending it to stick into one of the many electrical sockets.

Being of such of an adventurous age they knew little as to how electricity worked, except that sparks might shoot out and they might be shocked. That part deterred them from their action, the thought of how bad the shock would be until this particular boy enthusiastically though of using a piece of paper like an oven mitt to stick in the now U-shaped piece of metal.

Of course since it was his idea, he got to put it in, though perhaps it was the intelligence of the others that stopped them from doing it themselves and allowed the boy to continue on.

He put it in, sparks shot out, lights dimmed and the class stared at him. For his benefit he wasn't shocked, the paper was only singed, burn marks where it held the clip. One end of the paper clip shot out of the socket hole, straightening itself out a bit in the process and vibrating like crazy.

The teacher singled him out and the vice principal came to the class, due to the teacher calling him there or other reasons...

The vice principal led him out of the class, initially saying that the boy would be suspended for a few days, but later only sentenced the lad to a few lunch detentions.

Friends in other classes though claim the the class on the other side of the wall had some electrical problems of their own when he did that; that a computer shorted out or something to that affect, the likes of which have not been confirmed by official report. Though if such a thing were to have occurred then no doubt the suspension would have gone into effect.

The moral of this story? Sticking metal into electrical outlets is probably not a good idea.

My Best Picture

You know how a few months back I posted a picture of me in a top hat? Well the picture that I am about to post is probably my sexiest, most handsome picture ever. I won't be surprised if all my female readers fall instantly in love with me just because of how cute and irresistible I am in the picture below.

You see, I was at home this weekend and my parents had dug out some old photos, and I decided I was going to scan it, only I forgot and I called my brother to do it. So sometime later I'll replace the photo with a color picture when my family figures out how to scan color photos. But I have decided to show you that at one point in time, I was indeed cuter than Brad Pitt himself.


So yes, this is me at my prime when I was ten years old or so, leaning on the basketball. Now... well, now I am old, blind and complain about going to school and home uphill both ways. Elder Fields is the one on his knees, and that little four or five year who looks absolutely thrilled is Dan. And yes ladies, he is available! He turned 16 in April and has yet to go on a date, so if any of you have any interested younger sisters, we'll see if we can't set up some double/group date sort of thing.

Does he know I am plugging him shamelessly? Nope. Not at all. Does it matter? Not so much. But I can tell you he is an intelligent, funny, witty young man, so if you have young sisters who would like to go on a date with a sixteen year old Adonis, just let me know.

If not, well you young ladies all know at least what our male children would look like. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.


I am of course entirely kidding; I don't expect to be married until my early nineties. You remember that Episode of Boy Meets World where Shawn turns Feeny's home into a temporary Bed and Breakfast and the honeymoon couple turns out be be a couple in their nineties? That's me. Of course, our children will still be devilishly handsome.